Q. How many baseball players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They're too busy arguing about the last call.

Q. How many skateboarders does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it takes 100 attempts, and elbow pads.

Q. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to do it, and four to write angry articles about it.

Q. How many transsexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but he/she needs a note from two doctors.

Q. How many bodybuilders does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to do it, and four to stand around saying, "Man, awesome muscles; you're so cut!"

Q. How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but he needs at least three bulbs.

Q. How many appliance repairmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It depends how many defective bulbs they have.

Q. How many soul musicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to boogie up the ladder, and two to keep the beat.

Q. How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. That's a military secret, but yes, Vodka is involved.

Q. Why did the lights go out?
A. Because they were filled with delight.

Q. How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They always see the light.

Q. How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to do the screwing and another to hear the confession.

Q. How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Atheists question whether there really is light anyway.

Q. How many Christian Fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. The Bible does not mention light bulbs.

Q. What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A. Hey Baby, you turn me on!

Q. How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to argue for the rights of the old light bulb, and one to argue for the rights of the light socket.

Q. How many television comedians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, if you can find the guy who says, "Socket to me!"

Q. How many frat boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Three. One to screw it in, and two to help him off the keg.

Q. How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Dos. Juan to change the bulb, and another to taco bout it.

Q. How many Maya historians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but the date it burned out was NOT December 21, 2012 A.D. ...

Q. How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. How many can fit in an El Camino?

Q. How many thought police does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. There never was a light bulb. Don't you remember?

Q. How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. The light bulb turned itself in.

Q. How many vigilante superheroes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They like the dark.

Q. How many lumberjacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but he'll use a chainsaw...

Q. How many communists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to screw it in, and one to hand out leaflets.

Q. How many poltergeists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. One to unscrew the old bulb and drop it on the ground, one to put the new bulb in, and one to move a few more things just for good measure.

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