Mouth Jokes.

Q.
What is it called when suds get in your mouth while you're
singing in the shower?

A. A soap opera.

Pirates
know that ye who talks with full mouth speaks ingest!

Q.
What should you do if your dog chews up you dictionary?

A. Take the words right out of his mouth!

Q.
How do you avoid getting swallowed by a river while white
water rafting in Colorado?

A. Stay away from the river's mouth.

Q.
Why is it so hard to trust a snake?

A. 'Cause they speak with forked tongues.

Did
you hear about the dentist who got a gold filling just to
put his money where his mouth is?

Q.
Why did the blonde think her mouth replacement surgery went
wrong?

A. 'Cause a voice in the back of her head kept telling her
that.

Wied
Open Laugh of the Day: Yes, I'm into fitness. Fitness
this whole pizza into my mouth.

Patient:
I think I swallowed a pil

low.

Doctor: I see. How do you feel? Patient: A little down in
the mouth.

Lame
Excuse for Dieting Failure: I have fillings in my teeth.
The magnets on my refrigerator keep pulling me into the
kitchen!

If you can't sing with a mouth full of garbanzo beans, just
hummus a tune!

Q.
How do you desribe Painful
mouth Puns?

A. Tongue in cheeky.

Q.
What happens when two nervous snakes meet for the first
time?

A. They get tongue-tied.

Wildcat
Hookup Line: Hey girl,
you wanna play lion tamer? Okay, you get on all fours and
I'll put my head in your mouth.

Q.
What's worse than lobsters on your grand piano?

A. Crabs on your mouth organ.

Q.
How do you know an old battery still has some hot life
left in it?

A. It teases you to test it to get you to lick it.

A
blonde looked up to watch a bird flying above. Suddenly
the bird pooped. So, the blonde said, "Good thing I had
my mouth open, or that would have hit me in the face!"

Q.
How does info travel so quickly from parrot to parrot?

A. Bird of Mouth!

Q.
Why did the snowman visit an orthodontist?

A. To correct his frostbite!

Q.
What should you name a dog that licks electrical cords and
outlets?

A. Sparky.

Customer:
My lunch is talking to me.

Deli Shop Waiter: Yes sir, that's why I don't recommend
the tongue sandwich.

A
tongue walks into a bar and yells out, "I can lick
anyone here!" EW!

Dieting
Tip of the Day: You can't lose weight by talking about it.
You need to keep your mouth shut.

Q.
What happens when two nervous frogs collide?

A. They get tongue-tied.

Q.
What has a sharp set of teeth, but no mouth?

A. A saw blade.

ER
Doctor Come-On: Hey bae,
I am an expert in mouth to mouth.

Q.
How are tight-fitting underwear and smiles alike?

A. Both lift your cheeks.

Q.
Why do you forget about a tooth right after the dentist
pulls it out of your mouth?

A. Duh! Because it goes right out of your head!

Dental
Point to Ponder: Why do dentist jokes make you feel down
in the mouth?

Q.
What's the best way to find a painless dentist in your neighborhood?

A. Word of mouth.

Q.
How does info travel so quickly among dung beetles?

A. Turd of mouth!

Q.
What do you get if you cross a cell phone with a bottle
of mouthwash?

A. A TeleScope!

Q.
What do cannibals pop in their mouths to freshen their breath?

A. Men-toes.

Q.
What has a fine set of teeth, but no mouth?

A. A comb.

Q.
What do bratty teenagers and frogs have in common?

A. Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.

Q.
What do you call it when a bratty teenage bat mouths off?

A. Battitude.

The
cannibal chef daintily wiped his mouth and said, "My
wife makes great soup. I'm really going to miss her."

Q.
How are the bogeyman and false teeth alike?

A. Both only come out at night!

The
sad dentist looked a little down in the mouth.

Q.
What do you call a cannibal who bites his brothers and sisters?

A. Munchkin.

Q.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

A. Because they taste funny.

Q.
Why don't most people enjoy cannibal jokes?

A. Because it's an acquired taste.

Q.
What happens when you get a gold tooth?

A. You put your money where your mouth is.

Q.
How do you find the strangest dental industry jobs?

A. By weird of mouth!

Q.
Why did the horse talk with hay in its mouth?

A. It lacked good stable manners.

A
friend of mine is dating a girl with a dental implant, but
he didn't know that until it came out during a recent conversation.

Q.
What do you call photos of your mouth?

A. Tooth-Pics.

Q.
What do you call a grizzly with no teeth in his mouth?

A. A Gummy Bear!

Q.
Why does the alcoholic Avon lady talk funny?

A. Because her lips stick.

Q.
What do you get if you kiss a chicken?

A. A peck on the lips.

Q.
What do you call a fish that won't quit singing?

A. A big-mouthed bass.

Q.
What did the dentist say when he looked in Yoda's mouth?

A. May the Floss Be With You!

Q.
What is a toothache?

A. A mouth pain that drives people to extraction.

Q.
What is it called when you accidentally make a bad undergarment
pun?

A. A slip of the tongue.