PICK YOUR PUNISHMENT
Cookie Jokes.
Cookie Jokes: Treat yourself to sweets humor, kooky candy puns, chocolate jokes, crumbly snack bar humor, chocolate-covered grins and crummy cookie puns.
12 MEMES
See it. Save it. Share the groan.
More wordplay: 69 text jokes
Q.
What did the tough cookie say?
A. Let's get ready to crumble!
Q.
Which kind of sweet snack treat is a locksmithe's favorite?
A. Cookies!
Q.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass?
A. A girl scout who lost her cookies.
Q.
Why did the vanilla cookie cry?
A. Because its mommy was a wafer so long!
Q.
Why was the Hostess fired?
A. 'Cause she was a real Ding Dong.
Q.
Where do pirates get their chocolate?
A. From the Carob-bean.
Q.
Why do basketball players like cookies so much?
A. Because they can dunk them!
I
never really liked Fig Newtons, but now they're my favorite
cookie. Go Fig?
Q.
What do fashion designers use when they make s'mores?
A. Glam crackers.
Sweer
Snack Point to Ponder: Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Q.
What is a monkey's favorite kind of cookie?
A. Chocolate chimp!
In
the cookies of life, good friends are the chocolate chips.
Q.
What kind of keys do kids like to carry?
A. Cookies!
Q.
Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A. It might cause a break out.
Q.
What is a cleaning lady's least favorite brand of chocolate?
A. Lindt.
Q.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
A. Because he lost his filling.
An
Oreo walks into a bar, finds it's after last call, and falls
apart. Bartender says, "I guess that's how the cookie
crumbles."
Q.
Why does the blonde always put her laptop on a cooling rack
while she's using it online?
A. 'Cause it says, "This site uses cookies, Duh!"
Q.
What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. Lemme sample your chocolate chips.
Q.
Which kind of cookie might make you rich?
A. A fortune cookie.
Q.
What do a bakery and a web browser have in common?
A. Both have both have cookies.
Q.
What do some Facebook users feed their kids at lunch time?
A. Instagram Crackers.
Q.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor?
A. When it feels crummy.
Q.
Where do witches bake their cookies?
A. In a coven.
Q.
What does an aspiring young witch baker use to make cookies?
A. An Easy Bake Coven.
Q.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has bits of chocolate
in his fur?
A. Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Q.
What does a horny and hungry Wookiee say?
A. I'm in the mood for a little nookiee, Cookiee.
Q.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet.
Q.
What is a big scary monster's favorite snack food?
A. Ghoul scout cookies.
Q.
What do cannibals like to snack on?
A. Chocolate covered aunts.
Q.
What's heavier? A galaxy, mars, earth, or the sun?
A. The Earth. Galaxy and Mars are candy bars, and the Sun
is a newspaper!
Q.
What does NASA call a dog standing on a Mars Bar?
A. Rover!
Q.
What is the Man in the Moon's favorite chocolate treat?
A. A Milky Way bar.
Q.
Why did the guy quit his job at the candy bar factory?
A. Paydays were too small.
Q.
What happens when you eat too much candy?
A. It makes you thick to your stomach!
Q.
What is a mime's favorite sweet snack?
A. A Marcel-mellow.
Q.
What happened after a monkey exploded at a food testing
lab?
A. Rhesus pieces were everywhere.
Q.
How do you spell CANDY with only two letters?
A. C and Y.
Q.
Why was the Hostess fired?
A. 'Cause she was a real Twinkie.
Q.
What is Darth Vader's favorite sweet?
A. Dark Chocolate!
Q.
What is the favorite chocolate candy of ground-dwelling
gnomes?
A. Tootsie Trolls.
Q.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?
A. A candy baa!
Q.
What is a leopard's favorite candy?
A. Dots.
Did
you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint
Patty? They had a Baby Ruth.
Q.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the
weekend?
A. A Payday!
Q.
Which candy do you eat on the playground?
A. Recess Pieces!
Q.
What do computers on the web snack on when they get hungry?
A. Chocolate chips and cookiess.
Q.
What do you call stolen candy?
A. Hot Chocolate!
Q.
What might be chocolate covered?
A. A brown lab retriever.
Q. Which candy do horny pirates hope to get for
Halloween?
A. Sweet TaRRRts.
Q.
What do Twitter users call birds that love candy?
A. Tweet Hearts.
Q.
What is a pirate's favorite Halloween candy?
A. Salt water taffy.
Q.
Why is there always candy at the cash register?
A. So that you'll buy some if it's a Payday.
Q.
Which quacking animated character's diet consists of sticky,
chewy candy?
A. Taffy Duck.
Q.
What happened to the guy who fell into a vat of gum at the
Wrigley factory?
A.The boss chewed him out.
Q.
What did the CEO call expenses for his new company that
makes bubble gum?
A. The cost of chewing business.
Q.
Which chocolate candy is exclusively for girls?
A. Her-She's Kisses.
Q.
What do you call the guy who misplaced the gooey chocolate
treats on the camping trip?
A. A s'more loser!
Q.
Why did the blonde put a candy bar under her pillow?
A. She wanted to have sweet dreams.
Q.
What do little green men like to put in their hot chocolate?
A. Martian-mallows.
Q.
What do you get if somebody gifts you sheepskin boots and
Hershey's bits?
A. Uggs and Kisses.
Patient:
Last night I dreamed that I ate a giant marshmallow.
Shrink: I see. What's wrong with that?
Patient: In the morning, my pillow was gone.
Next
time you have company, serve them a bowl of shelled peanuts.
After they've eaten a few handfuls say, "I've never
liked peanuts, but I like to suck the chocolate off of them."
Q.
What is a southern farmer's favorite snack?
A. Cotton candy.
Q.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A. A Gummy Bear!
Q.
What is a Halloween retreat?
A. A second piece of candy.
Q.
Which kind of keys do a locksmith's kids get to carry around?
A. Cookies!
Sweet
Snack Laugh of the Day: It's time for a snack, he snickered.
Sweet
Holiday Tidbit: Did you hear about the guy who collected
candy canes? They were all in mint condition.