Q. What happened when the pastry chef's wife came home early?
A. She caught him master baking.

Q. What is a baker's favorite Beatles' song?
A. All You Knead Is Love.

Q. What did they say about the old baker's favorite song?
A. It's a moldie, but a goodie!

There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Q. Why was the computer tech so tired when he got home from work?
A. He had a hard drive.

Q. What did the dentist say to the computer programmer?
A. This won't hurt one byte.

The dentist attended Emory and the manicurist still goes to Emery.

Q. How can you tell you've found the best dentist?
A. He's Ahh-Inspiring!

I had a date with a dentist last night. At the end of the date, she said she had a great time and wants to see me again in six months.

Q. What did the horse tell the vet after it fell?
A. Doc, I've fallen and I can't giddyup!

Q. Why don't veterinarians like to order online?
A. Because they prefer to use a print catalog.

Q. What did the vet say when a dog walked into the clinic carrying a little cat in its mouth?
A. You've got to be kitten me!

That shrink could see right through his egocentric behavior. Wrap your head around that!

Q. Why did the psychiatrist sent the guy in for an MRI?
A. Because she thought he had a magnetic personality.

Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A. Because the P is silent.

Q. What's the main problem with lawyer jokes?
A. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes!

Q. What happens when you give a lawyer Viagra?
A. He gets taller.

Q. What's the difference between lawyers and a herd of bison?
A. Lawyers charge more.

Q. How can you tell a fine diplomat?
A. He's a guy who can tell you to go to hell in a way that makes you look forward to the trip.

Q. What does it mean when a diplomat says, Maybe?
A. He means NO.

Q. What does it mean when a diplomat says, NO?
A. He's not a diplomat.

Q. What is a farmer's favorite party game?
A. Truth or Dairy!

Q. Why was the farmer so stressed out?
A. He had a high thresher job!

Q. Why did the blonde farmer plant cheerios?
A. He thought they were donut seeds.

Q. What did the farmer get when he crossed a chilie pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?
A. A hot diggity dog!

Q. What music do chiropractors enjoy most?
A. Hip Pop.

Q. What did the orthopedist say about working with fractures?
A. It isn't all it's cracked up to be.

A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling jokes. The bone doc's jokes were humerus, but the eye doc's puns were cornea!

Q. Why did the weather forecaster move to a different climate?
A. Because the weather didn't agree with him.

Did you hear about the two weathermen who both broke an arm and a leg in a storm-chasing accident? They called in from the hospital about the four casts!

Q. Where does the weatherman stop for happy hour after work?
A. The Isobar!

Q. What do you call an eye doctor in Alaska?
A. An optical Aleutian.

A man goes to an eye doctor and says, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." Receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" The man replies, "No, just spots."

Optician: It looks like you need glasses.
Patient: But, I'm wearing glasses.
Optician: Then I must need glasses ...

Gnome wonder there are not many dark rooms these days? Ew!

Q. Why is it tough to be a photographer?
A. You have to deal with a lot of crop!

Q. Which kind of pet does a photographer prefer?
A. A snapping turtle.

Q. Why did the photographer give up his career?
A. He lost focus.

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