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From the original Painful Puns archive.

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Where do Martian drink beer? At a Mars Bar!

Where do Martian drink beer

Happy Mud Day! More coffee please

Happy Mud Day

If Monday was a hair style, it would be a mullet!

If Monday was a hair style, it would be a mullet

Q. How is the moon like a dollar? A. Both have four quarters!

How is the moon like a dollar

Q. How much money does a skunk have? A. One Cent!

How much money does a skunk have

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red

Q. What happens when you play the blues backwards? A. Your wife comes back, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison!

What happens when you play the blues backwards

Q. Which classic rock group sings about black and white cookies? A. Oreo Speedwagon!

Which classic rock group sings about black and white cookies

To figure out how to send orange juice to WWII troops, researchers had to concentrate!

To figure out how to send orange juice to WWII troops, researchers had to concentrate

Orange you glad you saw this Tweet?

Orange you glad you saw this Tweet

Q. Why did the orange go out with a prune? A. It couldn't find a date!

Why did the orange go out with a prune

Q. Why don't oranges do well in school? A. Only orange juice can concentrate!

Why don't oranges do well in school