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From the original Painful Puns archive.

252 MEMES

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Hulk Says: Happy Guy Day!

Hulk Says: Happy Guy Day

Scary Pun: Cannibals Like to Meat People.

Scary Pun: Cannibals Like to Meat People

When I want my house to look clean, I just take off my glasses!

When I want my house to look clean, I just take off my glasses

Q. Why did the optometrist couple get divorced? A. They just couldn't see eye to eye!

Why did the optometrist couple get divorced

I hate when I misplace my glasses becuase I'm forced to walk around looking like I'm suspicious of everything in the room!

I hate when I misplace my glasses becuase I'm forced to walk around looking like I'm suspicious of everything in the room

Q. What did the eye doctor say when he retired? A. And now, eye must take my leave!

What did the eye doctor say when he retired

Optometrists live long because they dilate.

Optometrists live long because they dilate

A guy walks into a psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap shorts. Shrink says: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

A guy walks into a psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap shorts

Gnome Buddy, do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Gnome Buddy, do you like bacon

On a Blind Date: Gnome Match?

On a Blind Date: Gnome Match

Cheesy Pick-Up Line: Gnirl, I want to grow mold with you, just like blue cheese!

Cheesy Pick-Up Line: Gnirl, I want to grow mold with you, just like blue cheese

Groaner Pick-Up Line: Hey Gnirl, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first!

Groaner Pick-Up Line: Hey Gnirl, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first