Groaner: A Book Just Fell On My Head. I've Only Got My Shelf To Blame. - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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If a poet ascends in an elevator, can you say the bard has been raised?
Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!
Q. Why shouln't you write with a broken pencil? A. It's Pointless!
Q. How many newspaper columnists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but he'll tell everybody!


Author Jokes, Book Humor, Wordsmith Puns
Well-crafted author humor, book jokes, and written word puns do express laughter and pain.

Writer Jokes, Author Puns, Well-Read Puns
(Because Clever Wordsmith Jokes and Crafty Penman Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream or TOO Novel!)
Warning: Read Onward with Caution! Reading humor, writer LOLs, best seller jokes and non-friction puns ahead.
Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Grammar Jokes, Punctuation Puns | Letter LOLs | School Jokes, Student Puns | Teacher Jokes |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |

Q. Why shouln't you write with a broken pencil? A. It's Pointless!What do you call it when you finally delete the superfluous stuff from your list? Omission accomplished!Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary? SMILES, because there's a mile between each S!

Q. What did the sketchbook say when the novel asked a question?
A. I'm drawing a blank.

Q. Why do influencers always carry a pencil?
A. To draw attention.

Q. What do you say to a semicolon that tries to start a fight in a bar?
A. You'll need more guts than that!

Q. Which new self-help book failed due to the response at book signings?
A. Another Breath of Fresh Air by Hal E. Towsis.

#1 Writer's Rule: Remember double negatives are always a NO, NO!

Q. Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?
A. So he nose where he stopped reading.

Q. Why don't blind people bother to sharpen their pencils?
A. They don't see the point of it.

Q. Who wrote the unmoving new book,
Constipation Wastes My Time?
A. Anita Pugh.

Have you heard about the new book all about the history of Teflon? It features only non-frictional characters.

Noteworthy Fact of the Day for Writers: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win!

Q. Which Peeping Tom is famous for his clever romance novel, French My Windows?
A. Pat T. O'Dors.

Did you hear about the duel participant who only showed up with a pencil and paper? He proceeded to draw his weapon...

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.Why do all the other letters of the alphabet hate hanging out with N? A. Because it has to be the center of atteNtion!A book never sritten: I Have A Toothache by Phil McCavity

Pick-Up a Librarian Line: Hey girl, are you my favorite book? 'Cause when I look at you, I touch my shelf.

Q. What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A. A Teapot!

Q. Which high I.Q. author wrote the new non-fiction book, Mindful Mensa Moments?
A. Jean E. Uss.

Q. What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A. One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.

Q. How did the librarian lose the book, War and Peace?
A. Oh gosh, that's a long story...

Q. Who authored the stinging romance novel, Making Your Honey Even Sweeter?
A. B. Key Purr.

Q. A word in this sentence is misspelled. Which word is it?
A. Misspelled!

Q. Why didn't the neurotic guy buy the book about phobias?
A. He was afraid it wouldn't help...

Q. Which meteorologist wrote the best-selling Colorado travel book, Not Too Hot, Too Cold Not?
A. Lou Quarm.

Q. Where do pencils go on vacation? A. Pencil-vania!Luckily I brought my library card 'cause I am checking you out!Q. Who will write the pop star's official biography? A. The writer she authorizes!

Q. What did one pencil say to another?
A. Bro, you are lookin' sharp today!

Q. Which five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A. Short.

Q. Which frugal Martha Stewart wannabe wrote the new lifestyle book,
Living YES On a NO Budget?
A. Penni Pincher.

Q. Who wrote the book, Spicing Up a Dull Day?
A. Hal A. Penio.

Literate Pick-Up Line: Hey smartie, you must be a librarian, 'cause you just increased my circulation.

Q. Which buggy scientist wrote the irritating new book, Living With Mosquito Bites?
A. Ivan A. Scratch.

Q. Who did not write the book, Cousin Hurricane?
A. Ty F. Une.

Q. Which writer penned the perennial best-selling book, Suck You, Old Age?
A. Jerry Att-Rick.

If a picture's worth a thousand words, then why shouldn't we judge a book by its cover?

Q. Which disgruntled banker wrote the cheap tell-all about safe sex, Men Can Change?
A. Bette E. Wount.

Q. Who authored the new book, How I Deal With Stress?
A. Val E. Yum.

Q. What's the difference between a broken pencil and a bad joke?
A. The broken pencil has two parts. A bad joke. ...

You're like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life!Four fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get out. We don't want your type in here."Author Un Gnome

Librarian Pick-Up Line: You must be over-due, 'cause you are looking so fine!

Q. Why did the shy, dumb, clumsy guy toss a dictionary to the librarian, hitting her in the head?
A. 'Cause he wanted to Face-Book her.

Q. Which kind of artisan bread does a bard baker create?
A. Poet-rye.

Q. Who writes the new website, Odds and Ends that's about nothing and everything?
A. Miss Elaine Ehous.

Q. What happens when you mix literature with alcohol?
A. You get: Tequila Mockingbird.

Q. What do you call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Q. Which cowboy author wrote the book, Drinking Up the Old West?
A. Sal Oonz.

Today's Tricky Play on Words: A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.

Sprite tell-all dishes up dirt about elves and pixies.

Q. How is the guy doing in the poetry pun contest?
A. He stanza good chance.

Q. Who did not write the book, Healthy Lunch Bites?
A. Chris P. Bacon.

Q. Which Hollywood plastic surgeon wrote the new book, Eye Is Looking Younger?
A. Faye S. Lift.

| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Grammar Jokes, Punctuation Puns | Letter Puns | School Jokes, Student Puns | Teacher Jokes |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geologist Jokes and Rock Humor |
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| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | Weather | Eco Environmetal Jokes |

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