Hipster Stoner Tip of the Day: It is imperative that one smokes weed before it is cool!

Q. Why are marijuana jokes always so funny?
A. 'Cause it's just blunt humor.

Stoner Point to Ponder: Why is it so common to have problems re-hashing classic weed jokes?

Q. Why is it smarter to smoke weed than to drink beer?
A. 'Cause Bud weiser.

Colorado Tourism Slogan: Weed like to welcome you.

Q. Who is the keeper of the holy grail of Colorado Cannabis Industry jokes?
A. The Knights Hemplar.

Q. Did you hear the latest gardening joke about the cannabis plants?
A. It'll leaf you laughing.

Police Officer: How high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's Hi, How are you?

Q. How do stoners describe the effects of a long blunt at the end of the day?
A. Reefer Gladness.

Pothead Point to Ponder: If you laugh at funny weed jokes, but groan at pot puns, do you have high standards?

Q. What do Coloradans call the legalization of marijuana?
A. Fweedom!

Q. How can you tell you've had too much coffee and weed while vacationing in Colorado?
A. You have the ability to ski uphill!

Denver LoDo Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, I blaze on the first date!

Q. Why can't garden statues in a cannabis field be moved?
A. 'Cause they're stoned.

Q. When did humans first discover the benefits of marijuana?
A. During the Stoned Age.

Q. How do you know you were born into destiny as a pot head?
A. Your birthday is April 20.

Q. Why are cold coffee and smokin' marijuana such a popular wake up and bake up ritual in Colorado?
A. 'Cause that's the reason ice mocha lot of weed.

Q. How can you tell if you've toked too much weed?
A. Is that even possible to do, or is that odd?

Q. Why do pot puns always make you laugh?
A. Dude, you must be high!

Q. What does B.C. mean to Stoned Age man?
A. Before Cannabis.

Weedy Moving Pick-Up Line: Hey Mary Jane, how 'bout you climb aboard my canna-bus?

Colorado Cannabis-ism: Help eradicate road rage in our lifetime!

Q. How do most legalized marijuana industry workers in Colorado get hired?
A. They are reefered.

Q. What time of the day do stoners always look forward to?
A. High Noon.

Q. Which kind of pizza do hungry potheads usually order?
A. Stone-Baked!

Q. Why did the grower name his new marijuana strain Houdini?
A. Because it's a real escape from reality.

Q. What do a bad football team and a pothead have in common?
A. They both get blitzed!

Q. Why do potheads make such great diplomats?
A. They know how to give and toke.

Q. How do stoners resolve arguments?
A. They calmly hash out their differences.

Colorado Cannabis-ism: Don't panic, it's organic!

Q. Why was Jay, the Budtender, in such high demand in the Mile High city?
A. Because he always gives his clients the straight dope.

Q. Which cannabis strain gets great PR in Colorado?
A. Sinsemedia.

Q. What happens if you consume 5280 cannabis edibles?
A. You get a pot belly, but you know you'll work it off in a mile.

Q. How did the romantic stoner propose to his girlfriend?
A. He slipped her a bag of kush with a smokin' hot diamond ring in it and said, "Marriage, you wanna?"

Q. What was the stoner hipster doing on his vacation to Colorado's back country?
A. Blazing a trail off the mainstream.

Q. Why are potheads so sexy?
A. 'Cause they're smokin' hot and really mellow!

Q. What did the stoner call his girlfriend when she acted a bit catty?
A. Meowy Jane.

Q. Why is the new Colorado Weed and Vodka pub doing so well?
A. Because everyone who visits there is in high spirits.

Colorado Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, my friend and I are having a bake sale. Wanna joint us?

Q. What do you call a cartoon about smoking trees?
A. George of the Junkies.

Q. How did the guy know he was destined to wake up and bake up a blunt?
A. He was born on April 20 and his name is Smokey.

Q. What is the specialty of the French drug dealer?
A. Oui-d.

I just bought some boots from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day!

Stoner Words of the Day: Sorry for my bluntness, that's just how I roll.

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents and cannafoodies are quite common in the Mile High city.

Q. How do you know you were born into destiny as a pot head?
A. Your 20th birthday was in April.

Weed Groan of the Day: The research assistant couldn't experiment on cannabis plants because he hadn't botany.

Q. Which Star Wars character grows the best weed?
A. Yoda, because two green thumbs, he has.

Join the marijuana movement, it's a joint effort.

Weedy Tasty Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you into salad? 'Cause I've got a bowl of Devil's Lettuce ready and waiting for you.

Mile High 420-ism: Just Doob It!

I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl, until I asked her if she had papers – she immediately ran off.

Q. Which weed song offers romance tips for stoners?
A. Weed Instead of Roses by Ashley Monroe.

Q. Which new online dating site attracts florists and cannabis growers over 50?
A. Flower Time.

Q. What did the stand up comedian say when all his cannabis jokes bombed at Denver Comedy Works?
A. That's Grow Biz.

Weed Slogan of the Day: Wake Up, Bake Up.

Q. What time of the day do stoners always look forward to and back upon?
A. 4:20 AM and 4:20 PM.

Q. How do partying skeletons in Colorado get high on the weekend?
A. Marrow-juana.

Wise Stoner-ism of the Day: Don't drink and drive. Park and spark.

Q. Which song is the favorite of an old hippie with a half-smoked joint in his hand?
A. One Toke Over the Line by Brewer & Shipley.

Q. What sort of article did West Word publish about the newest pot shop in Denver?
A. A Puff Piece.

Hey Colorado, Let's Blow This Joint!

Did you hear about the Denver street musician who died while smoking weed rolled in a dollar bill? At least he went out on a high note…

Zoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, you're on fire! No, wait, that's just my blunt.

Q. What do you get if you dunk a gourmet doobie in Vodka?
A. The Holy Spirit Flambe.

Q. What is every stoner's favorite marijuana song of all time?
A. You Don't Know How It Feels by Tom Petty.

Q. What is popcorn seasoned with canna-butter called in Colorado?
A. Mari Poppins.

Q. What do you call a horny stoner?
A. A weed wacker!

Q. What do you call a BYO cannabis buffet party with blunts, spliffs, joints, reefers, doobies and more?
A. Pot Luck.

Q. What is it called if you celebrate 420 by lighting up daily for a fortnight beginning on April 1?
A. On a roll.

Q. For maximum effect, what time does Bigfoot pop a Coors and smoke weed on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Q. What is it called when a Japanese poet smokes weed and then overthrows the Shogun?
A. High Coup.

Q. Why did the cannabis salesman enjoy his sales route in Mecca?
A. High prophets.

Q. Which prize did the stoner get when he won the Colorado State Lottery?
A. He hit the big jackpot.

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