What do you get if you cross a witch and a Halloween blizzard
A. A cold spell!
What happened to the Colorado cow that was lifted into a
A. Udder disaster.
How is a Colorado blizzard warning like Christmas?
A. Last minute shopping in crowded stores!
Why do chickens like Colorado weather jokes?
A. Because they're so flocking funny!
Why do chickens think Colorado weather jokes are so funny?
A. Because they're made up from scratch!
When does money fall out of the Denver sky over the mint?
A. Only when there's a change in the weather!
Why did Mike Nelson name the Channel 7 meteorologist's bowling
A. Because they get so many strikes.
What's the difference between a vampire with a toothache
and a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. One roars in pain, and the other pours in rain.
What do Colorado lightning bolts do when they laugh?
A. They crack up.
How do competitor Denver weather forecasters greet each
A. With a cold wave!
What is the opposite of a cold front?
A. A warm back.
Why did the Denver weatherman prefer Colorado craft beer?
A. Because his head is in the cloud.
How are a Colorado weatherman and a ski area hooker alike?
A. Both can only estimate how many inches they'll get, or
how long it will last.
Weather Point to Ponder: If a Denver weatherman only answers
questions pertaining to wimpy high-altitude clouds, is that
cirrus inquiries only?
How do Colorado chefs deal with cold weather?
A. They just turn up the SHU (Scoville Heat Units) in tonight's
What did the lightning bolt say to the Colorado Blue Spruce?
A. Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary spark!
How do you make antifreeze?
A. Take away her blanket!
How are freezing rain on I70 asphalt and cake icing alike?
A. Both are a glaze!
Why was The Incredible Hulk fired from his gig as weatherman
on Denver's 9News?
A. Because his forecast was always the same: Partly
cloudy with a 50% chance of pain, and because Kathy
Sabine's horse kicked him out of her way...
What did the duck do after he read all these Painful
Puns about Colorado's funny weather?
A. He quacked up!