Q. What do you call it when high winds ruin your outdoor event? A. Uninvited gusts!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Why is wind power so popular? A. Because it has a lot of fans!
Colorado Wisdom: If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes, and take cover in the lowest spot during a thunder storm!
Tornado and Hotdogs Say: Happy Wind's Day, Chicago!
You might be from Colorado if you think a blizzard in May is totally normal!
Q. What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the hull? A. Capain, we are being hailed!
You might be from Colorado if it snows two feet and you don't expect school to be canceled!
Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!
Q. Why don't ghosts like rain on Halloween? A. It dampens their spirits!

 


Weatherman Humor, Cloudy Jokes, Stormy Puns
Your outlook for blustery humor, hot air puns, fair weather jokes and a forecast for laughs.

Weather Jokes, Sunny Puns, Meteorology Humor
(Because Hail Areas Puns and Cold LOLs Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Fair Weather Friends – It Snow Joke!)
Warning: Venture Out at Your Own risk! Cold laughs, thundering Jokes, windy humor, and stormy puns ahead.
| Weather Jokes and Weatherman Humor | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Gardening Jokes |
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| Hipster Humor | Road Trip Jokes | Head Trip Jokes | Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Toilet Jokes |

When taking your car out in inclement weather, always make sure it's driving rain!Colorado Fact: If you don't like the weaterh, just wait five minutes!Q. What do you call it when a weatherman predicts wind speeds? A. Best gust-imates!

Q. What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A. I'm taking you for a quick spin!

Q. What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A. Fowl weather!

Q. How are onions and hail stones alike?
A. Both are whitish, both have layers, and both really stink when they hit your car!

Q. How can you spot a happy fair-weather motorcyclist?
A. You can see the bugs in his teeth!

Q. Why did the Colorado weather want a little privacy?
A. Because it was changing.

Q. Which TV weather forecast feature do Colorado potheads like best?
A. The Highs.

Weather Point to Ponder: Why do they call it Right As Rain, if you're all wet?

Q. Why shouldn't you bother fighting with a cloud?
A. He'll just go and storm out.

Q. What is the opposite of a cold front?
A. A warm back.

Q. How do you know if you're having circus weather today?
A. The heat is in tents.

Q. How can you stop your newspaper from blowing away in the wind?
A. Use a news anchor.

Q. Which day of the week typically has the most powerful gusts of wind?
A. Taco Tuesday!

Q. Which Olympic sport do hail stones and raindrops enjoy most?
A. Diving.

When a weatherman updates viewers on rapidly moving gray clouds, is that a stratus report?Which natural elevaton is home to the world's harshest weather? Mount Severest!Q. Why was the evening weatherman so worried? A. He was afraid the new meteorologist would steal his thunder!

Q. Why did the young cloud always get into trouble?
A. It never took anything cirrus-ly.

Did you hear about the two weathermen who both broke an arm and a leg in a storm-chasing accident? They called in from the hospital about the four casts!

Q. Where does the weatherman stop for happy hour after work?
A. The Isobar!

Weather Point to Ponder: If a weatherman only answers questions pertaining to wimpy high-altitude clouds, is that cirrus inquiries only?

Q. Which sort of mathematician adds the best during hot weather?
A. A Summer.

Q. Why do weather forecast models suffer from depression?
A. They're told they're unattractive and wrong much of the time.

Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A. Hold onto your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job.

Q. How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.

Q. Why did God create economists?
A. To make weather forecasters look good.

Q. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises?
A. A meaty-urologist.

Q. How do weather forecasters greet each other?
A. With a heat wave!

Q. Why was the weatherman fired during sweeps season?
A. Turns out, the news of a coming flood was leaked.

Q. What did the modest thunder say to the flamboyant lightning?
A. Please stop flashing!

Q. What is the technical term for a warm, sunny day after two days of rain and gloom?
A. Monday...

Q. Why did the weather forecaster move to a different climate?
A. Because the weather didn't agree with him.

You might be from Colorado if hail freaks you out so bad that you have a hard time getting a cab!Q. What does a pirate say during a snow storm? A. Shiver me timbers!Q. What does a thunder cloud give out on Valentine's Day? A. A box of shock-lates!

Q. What did the Colorado hail storm say to the roof?
A. Hang onto your shingles 'cause this isn't ordinary sprinkles.

Q. How did the hailstone describe its life?
A. I've really had a lot of ups and downs.

In Colorado, if you don't get hit by lightning or hail, you might as well just go along with the flow.

Q. What is the meteorological term for when high pressure goes on vacation?
A. Hiatus.

Q. What is a weatherman's favorite reptile?
A. A BLizzard!

Q. How do you make antifreeze?
A. Take away her blanket!

Q. How are freezing rain and cake icing alike?
A. Both are a glaze.

Q. How is Snow White?
A. Fair, according to the Seven Dwarfs.

Q. How does a hurricane know where it's going?
A. It uses its eye.

Q. How do lightning bolts flirt?
A. They electro-cute each other!

Did you hear about the unfortunate weather chaser who recently died? His last photos of lightning were really quite striking, though.

Q. Which kind of lightning is drawn to athletic events?
A. Ball lightning.

Q. How do high and low pressure systems greet each other?
A. A high says, "HI," and the low says, "HelLOW."

Q. Why is England such a wet country? A. Because the queen has reigned there for years!Q. When does it rain brains? A. During a brain storm!Q. What do you call it when a strong storm hits the coast of Maine? A. Augusta wind!

Q. What is a king's favorite form of precipitation?
A. Hail!

Q. What happens when raindrops live together before geting married?
A. They coalesce.

Q. What did one raindrop say to another on the playground?
A. My Plop is bigger than your Plop!

Q. Which day of the week is a weatherman's favorite to predict?
A. WetsDay.

Q. What did the evaporating raindrop say?
A. Help! I'm going to pieces!

Q. Why did the blonde meteorologist have a hard time forecasting the weather?
A. Because she was charting meteors.

Q. What's the difference between a horse and a storm?
A. One is reined up, while the other rains down.

Q. What do raindrops get if they go to an event that is canceled due to weather?
A. A sun check.

Q. What is the weather forecast when a right angle goes swimming?
A. 90.

Q. What did the blonde's postcard say?
A. The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

Q. Does the wind like renewable energy?
A. Actually, it's a big fan!

Q. What do you call iron blowing in the wind?
A. FE-Breeze.

Q. Which day of the week typically has the most powerful gusts of wind?
A. Windsday.

Q. Is it hard for wind gusts to talk to each other?
A. No, it's a breeze!

Q. Why was The Incredible Hulk fired from his gig as a TV weatherman?
A. Because his forecast was always the same: Partly cloudy with a 50% chance of pain.

Q. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.The winds of change ae raining coins of copper, nickel, and silver!Hey Gnirl, I'm no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight!

Q. Where do amorous lightning bolts go to hook up?
A. Cloud Nine.

Q. Why was the lightning bolt featured on the TV news?
A. Are you sure you want to know? The event was truly shocking...

Q. Why do raindrops like lightning at night?
A. Because they can see where they're going.

Q. Why did the meteorologists name their bowling team Lightning?
A. Because they get so many strikes.

Q. Why did Canadian meteorolgists lose to the American meteorologists in the basketball tournament?
A. 'Cause it was unfair in height! OUCH!

Q. Why did the blonde frantically run around outside with her purse open?
A. She heard they were expecting some change in the weather.

Q. How do hail stones invest their money?
A. In a combination of liquid and frozen assets.

Q. What did Spock say when Chekov asked why he should start a forest campfire while they were stranded on a planet during an ice storm?
A. It's log-ical.

Q. What does Captain Picard say at Christmas time?
A. Make It Snow!

Q. Why did the hurricane wear a monicle?
A. It only had one eye.

You might need a new psychic if she shakes her crystal ball and then predicts a snowstorm.

Q. How are the weather and a man alike?
A. Nothing can be done to change either of them.

Q. What do a tornado, a hurricane, and a redneck divorce have in common?
A. In the end, someone is gonna lose a house trailer.

Q. What did the fog say to the light rain after its vacation?
A. I mist you!

Grandpa's Weather Report: It's so foggy tonight that I can see through my cataracts.

| Weatherman Jokes and Weather Humor | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Gardening Jokes |
| Cold Winter Jokes | Winter Come Ons | Science Humor | 2 | Chemistry Jokes | Dr. Gnome Jokes |
| Physics Puns | Math Humor | Scientist Pick-Up Lines | Outer Space Jokes |
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