| Medical
Point to Ponder: Why is an animal doc called a vet
instead of a dogtor?
Q.
Why did the pony go to the doctor?
A. Because he was a little hoarse.
Did
you hear about the vet and taxidermist that went into business
together? Their slogan is: Either Way, You Get Your
Pet Back.
Q.
Why did the sheep go to the doctor?
A. Because it was feeling really baaad.
A
man returned to the vet clinic to see if his pet's surgery
was successful. Vet says, "Here's the bill.
Unfortunately, we couldn't reattach it to your duck."
Q.
What is the medical term for owning too many dogs?
A. Roverdose.
Have
you heard about the old woman who got the Amish Flu? First
she got a little horse, then she got a little buggy...
Q.
What do they say about horse surgeons?
A. They have stable hands.
Q.
What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A. Wet noses.
Teacher:
How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
First Grader: Don't bite any! |
Optometry
jokes just keep getting cornea...
Q.
Why was the hunky optician so popular with the ladies?
A. He had specs appeal!
Q.
How can you tell you've got a great optometrist?
A. His eye puns are as corneas it gets!
Q.
Why was the eye doctor always so happy?
A. He was an Opto-mist!
Q.
Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he was seeing spots.
Did
you hear about the blind guy who went to his optometrist
with his guide dog? The doctor replaced the dog and asked,
"Is number two better?"
Q.
How do optometrists describe their work?
A. As an eye-opening experience.
Q.
What did the immigrant first-grader say after his first
visit to the eye doctor?
A. Do you have the same chart, but in English?
Q.
What did the judge say about the bad eye doctor pun during
the trial?
A. Eye will allow it.
Medical
Moan of the Day: A boy was born without eye lids, so surgeons
circumcised him and grafted the foreskin on. Doctors report
the boy is fine, but a little cock-eyed.
|
Q.
How did the intuitive doctor know what was wrong with his
patient?
A. He used his sick sense.
Patient:
I'd like a second opinion.
Doctor: Of course. Come back tomorrow.
Medical
Point to Ponder: If a doctor's office has two M.D.s on call
all the time, is that a parodox?
Q.
What do you call a doctor who lives at a tent-filled resort
to treat visitor's afflictions?
A. A camp-pain manager.
Q.
What is a medical staff?
A. What a lame doctor walks with.
Q.
Why don't doctors ever go on strike?
A. Because nobody, other than a pharmacist, could read their
picket signs.
Never
see a doctor whose office plants have died.
– Erma Bombeck.
Medical
Bug of the Day: When I told the doctor I was having memory
problems, she made me pay in advance.
Q.
What did the orthopedic doctor become after he retired and
bought a hotel?
A. A room-atologist.
Medical
Point to Ponder: Can Sick Pick-Up
Lines actually make you ill? |
