| Q.
What happened after the guy swallowed a dictionary?
A. Now he has thesaurus throat.
Q.
What happened after a guy got a Viagra stuck in his throat?
A. He had a stiff neck for hours.
Q.
What do programmers do when they have something stuck in
their throat?
A. They hack.
Distasteful
Joke of the Day: I need to poop so bad that I have a lump
in my throat!
Q.
What do you call a pink bird with a sore throat?
A. A Phlegm-ingo.
Q.
Why do baristas take throat lozenges?
A. Because they get coffee.
Q.
What did the polite pony say after he cleared his throat?
A. Sorry, I'm a little hoarse.
Q.
What do you call a three-foot snake with a Viagra stuck
in his throat?
A. A yardstick.
Q.
What is a thorax?
A. An associate of The Cat In The Hat.
Q.
What did one tonsil say to the other?
A. We'd better get dressed up because the doctor is taking
us out tonight.
Q.
Why did the holiday choir have to cancel their Christmas
Eve performance?
A. They came down with tinsel-itis! |
Today's
Fact to Face: Nose jokes do stink, but eye puns are cornea.
Q.
Why are men with pierced ears better prepared for marriage?
A. Because they've experienced pain and have bought jewelry.
If
you think earwigs are terrifying because they crawl
into your ears, you don't even want to consider what cockroaches
do!
Q.
Why was Van Gogh an artist and not a musician?
A. 'Cause he didn't have the ear for it!
Patient:
Doc, I can't hear out of my left ear.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Patient: Yes, I'm deaf-inate.
Q.
Why are cows so forgetful?
A. Because everything goes in one ear and out the udder.
Q.
Why do humans have two ears?
A. Because everyone needs an earbud.
Q.
What do you call a ring in your ear?
A. Tinnitus.
Q.
Why did the hooker put a condom on her ear?
A. She didn't want to get hearing AIDS.
Patient:
Doc, I think I'm losing my hearing.
Doctor: What are the symptons?
Patient: Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie.
A
nurse practitioner was examining his patient who happened
to be hard of hearing. He put his stethoscope to her chest
and said, "Big breaths." The woman replied, "Yes,
they used to be bigger." |
Q. What is in a ghost's nose?
A. Boo-gers!
Q.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. Cute, but can you breath through it?
A
tissue walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he wants
a drink. Tissue says, "No you idiot, it'll go right through
me." Bartender replies, "Well, you don't have to get all
snotty about it.
Q.
Which French seer claimed he could smell the future?
A. Nostrildamus.
Guy:
Did you know that the scientific term for mucus is called
nasal ejaculate?
Bro: No, it's snot!
Q.
What did the guy say when his bro told him his nose was
runny?
A. No, it's snot!
Q.
What happens when a cow laughs too hard at Painful Puns?
A. Milk comes out her nose.
Q.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
A. Because it's the scenter of attraction.
Q.
Why was the little first grade kid's nose so sad?
A. Because it didn't get picked.
Q.
Why is Lois Lane deaf in one ear?
A. Due to the super snoring.
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