Dockyard: A Physician's Garden.   PainfulPuns.com - Garden Puns, Green Jokes, Grow Groans!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden? A month later, he was picking his teeth!
Q. What do you call a vegetable with PMS? A. A Cab Bitch!
Alien says: In Colorado, if you don't like weed puns, you ganja have a bad time!
Q. Why don't programmers like nature? A. Too Many Bugs
Q. What do you get when Bigfoot walks in your garden? A. Squash!

 


Gardening Jokes, Plant Puns, Growing Groans
Plant a bumper crop of garden jokes, green humor, and corny plant puns that grow on you.

Gardener Jokes, Flora-ble Puns, Garden Humor
('Cause Healthy Homegrown Humor and Garden Grins Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Green Thumb Gardeners!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! You never know what's up a tree or lurks in the bushes or weed below.
| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Puns | Lemon Puns | Orange Puns | Strawberry Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Bear Jokes | Insect Jokes | Rodent Jokes | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns |
| Big Bigfoot Laughs | Deer Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | Donkey Jokes | Wildlife Animal Jokes |

How did the tomato court the corn? He whispered sweet nothings in her ear.Q. What kind of socks does a gardener wear? A. Garden Hose!Q. How can you tell if a tree is nomadic? A. It packs up its trunk and leaves.

Gardening Grin of the Day: Gardeners with green thumbs always know the ground rules!

Q. How can you tell blooming gardener jokes are bad?
A. When they're a real pain in the aster.

Q. How do you know you're a master gardener?
A. You have a decorative container of compost on your kitchen counter.

Q. What did the new upstart plant nursery ultimately suffer?
A. Growing pains.

Q. Why was the potato crying over his vodka and tonic?
A. It was his cousins.

Q. Why did the gardener quit?
A. His celery wasn’t high enough.

Q. After working with cow poop, how does a botanist clean her hands?
A. She gets a manure-cure.

Today's Gardening Fact: God makes rainy days so that gardeners can get their housework done.

Q. Did you hear the latest gardening joke about the tree?
A. It'll leaf you laughing.

Q. Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in down to earth novels and movies?
A. Because they're plot devices.

Garden Plot Tip of the Day: Gardening takes a lot of water, and a lot of that is perspiration.

Q. What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
A. The arbor-ate-em.

Garden Groan of the Day: For this green growner tree pun, we had to go out on a limb and branch out to some higher sources.

Q. What does a gardener call a collection of fruit trees that's being badly neglected?
A. A tortured orchard.

Q. What do trees wear to pool parties?
A. Swimming trunks.

Q. What did the alien dandelion say to the earth dandelion? A. Take Me To Your Weeder!The tree trimmers did a great job! They really should take a boughQ. What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? a. A Lawn Moo-er.

Q. What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
A. Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.

Q. How do you know you're a master gardener?
A. You'd rather spend a day shopping at a nursery than at a clothing store.

Q. What do thirsty garden trees like to drink?
A. Root Beer.

Q. Who are garden care employees at the soil tilling company obedient to?
A. The plowers that be.

Q. How did the gardener know it was time to buy a new lawn mower?
A. His old one just didn't cut it anymore!

Q. How do you know you're a master gardener?
A. During your free time, you'd rather fart around in the garden instead of watch TV.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever iron a four-leaf clover?
A. You might press your luck.

Q. Why was the tree drooling?
A. Because it was a Dogwood.

Q. Why did the gardener need a cork?
A. Because his garden sprung a leek!

Q. How do you know you're a master gardener?
A. You plan your vacation to hit every arboretum, botanical garden, and eco park at your destination.

Q. What do gardeners call a dessert pastry topped by fresh lawn clippings?
A. Pie ala mowed!

Q. What what can you make from baked beans and home-grown onions?
A. Tear gas.

Some River Valleys Are Absolutely Gorges.I Just Got Garden Supplies at Gnome Depot.Why did the farmer quit? His celery wasn't high enough!

Q. How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
A. All the rocks in your garden went belly up!

Plant Lovers Pick Up Line: Are you a botanist? 'Cause I'm lichen you!

Q. What do you call a land where the people drive only pink cars?
A. A pink carnation.

Q. Why did the farmer's horse go behind the barn?
A. It wanted to change its Jockeys.

New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past, and rely on the fuchsia...

Today's Gardening Fact: You can't plant flowers, if you've haven't botany.

Growing Point to Ponder: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think...

Q. What did the woman say when a neighbor asked to borrow her lawnmower?
A. Sorry, he's not home yet.

Gardening Point to Ponder: When the lawn care guy went broke, could he take out a loam?

Q. What is a gardener's favorite novel?
A. War and Peas.

Q. How do you keep a monkey from pooping in your garden?
A. Don't show him! Monkey see, monkey do.

Q. What is a baker's favorite kind of tree?
A. Pastry.

Insect Puns Really Bug Me!Garden gnomes are often stolen. Gnome wonder why ALL aren't?A Girl Said She Recognized Me From the Vegetarian Club, But I'd Never Met Herbivore.

Q. What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A. Global Worming.

Q. What is the most musical garden insect?
A. The Humbug!

Q. What is a garden slug?
A. A snail with a housing problem.

Gardener's Lament of the Day: If only I could grow green stuff outdoors, the way I can in my refrigerator....

A guy was digging out in his garden when he found a chest full of gold coins. He was about to run straight inside to tell his wife about it, but then he remembered why he was digging in our garden...

Q. How do young green gardeners learn?
A. By trowel and error!

Q. What is the wise gardener's mantra?
A. Weed 'em and Reap!

Q. What did the polite gardener say to Edgar Allan Poe to quickly warn him that he's about to walk into a Blue Spruce?
A. Poetry!

Did you hear about the successful bonzai grower? His next project is a miniature golf course.

Q. Which type of tree is most commonly found in a gardener's kitchen?
A. A Pantry.

Gardener Groan of the Day: There is something missing from my garden flower bouquet, she said lack-a-daisy-cally.

Q. How does your garden grow?
A. Only thyme will tell...

Q. What happened after a garden plant took a math class?
A. It grew square roots!

Q. What do gardeners call white-flowering shrubs that are entirely perishable?
A. Mere myrtles.

Q. What happened to the gardener that didn't return his library books?
A. He got a vine.

| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Garden Gnome Jokes | Lost Gnome Jokes | Creepy Garden Gnome Puns | Mobile Gnome Jokes |
| Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Puns | Lemon Puns | Orange Puns | Strawberry Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Bear Jokes | Insect Jokes | Rodent Jokes | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns |
| Big Bigfoot Laughs | Deer Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | Donkey Jokes | Wildlife Animal Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You've weeded out this much, but here's more growing laughter, green
humor, flowery jokes and crappy painful puns that'll fertilize your garden:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Chef Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Crappy Puns | Daily Groans | Fit Dieting Jokes | Ghost Jokes |
| Gnome Joke! | Hipster Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Mountain Jokes | Music Humor | Pick-Up Lines | Police Puns |
| Scientist Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Wine Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Gnome Puns Intended Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.