Dockyard: A Physician's Garden. - Garden Puns, Green Jokes, Grow Groans!

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Painful Puns & Jokes That Grow On You
Plant a bumper crop of garden memes, green humor, and corny plant jokes!

Flora-ble Puns, Garden Jokes, Green Riddles
(Because Healthy Homegrown Humor Could Never Become Too Mainstream)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. You never know what lurks in the bushes or weed.
Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

How did the tomato court the corn? He whispered sweet nothings in her ear.Q. Why did the tomato turn red? A. Because it saw the the salad dressing.Q. How can you tell if a tree is nomadic? A. It packs up its trunk and leaves.

Q. Why was the potato crying over his vodka and tonic?
A. It was his cousins.

Q. Why did the tomato and the corn fall in love?
A. He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

For this tree pun, I had to go out on a limb and branch out to some other sources.

Q. What did the alien dandelion say to the earth dandelion? A. Take Me To Your Weeder!The tree trimmers did a great job! They really should take a boughQ. What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? a. A Lawn Moo-er.

Q. What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
A. Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever iron a four-leaf clover?
A. You might press your luck.

Q. What what can you make from baked beans and onions?
A. Tear gas.

Some River Valleys Are Absolutely Gorges.I Just Got Garden Supplies at Gnome Depot.Why did the farmer quit? His celery wasn't high enough!

Q. What do you call a land where the people drive only pink cars?
A. A pink carnation.

New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past, and rely on the fuchsia...

Q. What is a gardener's favorite novel?
A. War and Peas.

Insect Puns Really Bug Me!Garden gnomes are often stolen. Gnome wonder why ALL aren't?A Girl Said She Recognized Me From the Vegetarian Club, But I'd Never Met Herbivore.

Q. What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A. Global Worming.

New gardeners learn by trowel and error.

There is something missing from my flower bouquet, she said lack-a-daisy-cally.

Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

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ou've lasted this far, so here's even more growing laughter,
flowery humor, and painful puns that'll fertilize your garden:

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