Grin of the Day: Gardeners with green thumbs always know
the ground rules!
How can you tell blooming gardener jokes are bad?
A. When they're a real pain in the aster.
How do you know you're a master gardener?
A. You have a decorative container of compost on your kitchen
What did the new upstart plant nursery ultimately suffer?
A. Growing pains.
Why was the potato crying over his vodka and tonic?
A. It was his cousins.
Why did the gardener quit?
A. His celery wasn’t high enough.
After working with cow poop, how does a botanist clean her
A. She gets a manure-cure.
Gardening Fact: God makes rainy days so that gardeners can
get their housework done.
Did you hear the latest gardening joke about the tree?
A. It'll leaf you laughing.
Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in down
to earth novels and movies?
A. Because they're plot devices.
Plot Tip of the Day: Gardening takes a lot of water, and
a lot of that is perspiration.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
A. The arbor-ate-em.
Groan of the Day: For this green growner tree pun, we had
to go out on a limb and branch out to some higher sources.
What does a gardener call a collection of fruit trees that's
being badly neglected?
A. A tortured orchard.
What do trees wear to pool parties?
A. Swimming trunks.