What kind of music do planets enjoy singing along to? Neptunes!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Did you hear about the music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note!
Q. Which music style do pirates enjoy most? A. ARRR and B!
Q. What's the difference between a piano and a tuna? A. You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
Q. What do you suffer from if you've heard the same song a million times? A. A Melody Malady!

Q. What song do you sing if you've run out of bananas? A. What else but peelings!
Q. What music do optometrists listen to the most? A. iTunes!
Happy Tunes Day!

 


Key Musician Jokes, Sharp Music Puns, Flat Notes
Play along with funny musicians, noted comedy, scaly puns, bass humor and trebled jokes.

Music Jokes, Musician Humor, Noteworthy Puns
(Q. Why Is It SO Quiet Here? A. Because We Haven't Tortured Web Visitors with MIDI Music Since 1999!)
Warning: Tune In At Your Own Risk! Trebled musician humor, disbanded band jokes, and falsetto puns ahead.
| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Puns | Guitar Jokes | Hip Hop Humor |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

Q. How are music and slippery ice alike? A. If you don't C Sharp, you'll B Flat!Wookie Asks: What makes music on your hair? A. A head band!Q. Why was the musician arrested? A. He was in treble!

Q. What do you call a group of alligators that get together to sing parody songs?
A. Pun-croc-ers!

Q. Who is the most famous German jazz musician?
A. Jazz Hans.

Q. What happened to the classical musican couple who were always bickering?
A. They baroque up.

Seven piano keys walk into a bar. Bartender say, "Sorry, we can't serve liquor to A minor."

Q. What is the favorite music genre of most stepdads?
A. Alternative Pop.

Q. What does a musician call extra notes added to the end of a song to make it last longer?
A. Extension chords.

Garage Band Fact of the Day: My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it, or not.

Q. How do dogs listen to music out on long walks?
A. They use an iPaw-ed.

Q. Is it okay to tell funny jokes about the Rolling Stones?
A. Yes. In fact, it's a gas.

High Pitch Musician Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, Treble is my middle name.

Q. Which type of music do pirates listen to?
A. Anything they want, 'cause they're not paying for it anyway.

Q. Why should you never hit somebody in the head with a string instrument?
A. 'Cause violins is never the answer!

Q. When lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to be hit?
A. The Conductor!

Q. What happened when the guy listened to classical music way too loud?
A. His speakers baroque.

Q. Which historical era had the poorest musicians?
A. The Baroque period.

Q. What is a cool banana's favorite song? A. Melllo Yellow!Q. What do you get if you put your radio in the fridge? A. Cool Music!Q. What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A. A Moo-Sician!

Q. Why was the musician banned from the jazz club?
A. 'Cause he's a registered sax offender.

Q. What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee Gees?
A. Stayin' Alive!

Q. What do rock zombies call the guy who gets the group out of PR scrapes?
A. A Band-Aide.

Q. What do musicians call a zombie who writes music?
A. A decomposer.

Noteworthy Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, did you know that musicians duet better?

Q. What happened when the musician died while smoking weed rolled in a dollar bill?
A. He went out on a high note.

Q. What is planet Earth's fave music genre?
A. Metalcore.

Q. What happened when a jazz band's bus broke down on the busy highway during rush hour?
A. There was a massive jam up.

Q. Which rock band has members with obsessive-compulsive disorder?
A. OC/DC.

Q. What do musicians call pleasurable audio?
A. An ear-gasm.

Brass Musician Tip of the Day: If you suck at trumpet, that's probably why!

Q. What do you call the musician who plays both the tenor and alto saxophones?
A. Bi-saxual.

Q. Why do rock drummers always swear so much?
A. Because they play per-cuss-ion instruments.

Musician Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you are lookin' F-ing sharp tonight.

Q. What is Donald Trump's least favorite classic rock band?
A. Foreigner.

Q. What is a cow's favorite musical note? A. Beef Flat!Which music genre appeals to cheese? R 'N BrieQ. What kind of music do sheep like? A. Baach!

Q. Which musical note sounds like an order to get with it?
A. B Sharp.

Q. What happened to the musician who played through the silent part of the song?
A. He was charged with resisting a rest!

Q. What happened after the musician messed up in the middle of a number?
A. He had a tempo tantrum.

Q. Why was music coming out of the laser printer?
A. 'Cause the paper was jamming.

Q. What do musicians call popular tunes about physical activities on the charts?
A. The Top Sporty Hits.

Q. What did Colby sing to Brie at the cheesy new karaoke bar?
A. Lookin' Sharp!

Q. What is the chance to samply a fishy broth at a high brow music event called?
A. An opera-tuna-ty.

Q. What happened after the chef opened the refrigerator door because he heard green onions singing a Bee Gees song?
A. He realized it was just chives talking.

Q. Which classical dessert comes out of a musical volcano?
A. Bach lava.

Studio Singer Hookup Line: Hey baby, let's make music on my sheets.

Q. What goes on when a church musician and a surgeon hang out?
A. They just chill and talk about organs.

Q. What do you get if you cross a Scottish fisherman and a British jazz musician?
A. An angler-saxin'.

Q. Why can't skeleton musicians play at church?
A. 'Cause they have no organs.

Q. Which musical note sounds like a heads up?
A. C Sharp.

Q. What did the blonde say when headphones went on sale?
A. It's music to my ears.

Happy Tunes Day!Music Pun: I break into song because I can't find the key.Q. What happens when you play the blues backwards? A. Your wife comes back, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison!

Q. Why did the musician hate the key of E minor?
A. Because it gave him the E B G Bs!

Noteworthy Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, Every Good Boy Deserves more than Favor!

Q. How did the church musician die?
A. Organ failure.

Instrumental Tip of the Day: Too much sax and violins can only lead to treble.

Q. Why did the musical note drop out of college?
A. 'Cause it couldn't pick a major.

Musician Chat Up Line: So babe, are you a scale? 'Cause I'd love to go up and down on you all night long.

Orchestra Musician Chat Up Line: Hey baby, I C Major potential in you.

Did you hear about the choir singer with augmented breasts? She had a great falsetto!

Q. What do you call a musician with erectile dysfunction?
A. B Flat.

Q. What do you call a musican who betrays fellow musicians?
A. An orchestraitor.

Musician Pick-Up Line: Bae, wanna know why my buds call me Legato? 'Cause I'm so smooth.

Q. What kind of music do pirates listen to aboard a dingy?
A. Rock n Row.

Musician Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you are a major part of my life, and without you, I'd be flat.

Q. What happened to the guy who was busted for smuggling reed instruments?
A. He was charged with sax trafficking.

Q. Why did the musician's gig at the graveyard go so badly?
A. Because the crowd was pretty dead.

Deep Thought of Note: Do you still make poignant music after you're dead by de-composing?

Q. Why did the guitarist drop out of music lessons?
A. 'Cause he couldn't pick A Major.

Keyed Up Come-On: Hey baby, are you a musician? 'Cause we could get into some serious treble together tonight.

Q. What happened to the dancing pirate who went to the seafood-themed disco?
A. He pulled a mussel.

Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!Q. How can you tell if the concert stage is level? A. Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth!Cow Chef Asks: What kind of music do chefs like to listen to? Wok N Roll!

Musician's Hall of Fame Mention of the Day: Stevie Wonder wasn't just a great musician, he was otta sight!

Q. Which classic rock band is the favorite of Jehovah's Witness?
A. The Doors!

Q. How can you tell a guitarist is worried?
A. He frets a lot.

Q. What do you call a guitar that wants to become a violin?
A. Trans-Fender.

Q. Which musician in the rock band does the weirdest stuff on stage?
A. The bizarre-est guitarist.

Q. How do critics rank dramatic musical works?
A. Standard opera-rating procedure.

Q. If everybody around you is wild about big band music, where do you live?
A. In a swing state.

Pick-Up a Musician Line: Hey honey, how about you give me a piano lesson? We could play all night long and make sweet music together.

Classical Music Groan of the Day: Last night the school orchestra played Brahms. Brahms lost. OUCH!

Q. If Albert Einstein was a rapper, what would he call himself?
A. E MC Square.

Q. What does the music term E-sharp mean?
A. Tech savvy.

Q. What is it called when a rapper clearly puts it all out for his psychiatrist?
A. Shrink Rap!

Q. How did the musician's latest stage performance go?
A. A chording to plan!

Q. Why did the guy turn up the music before going into the bathroom?
A. So you can't hear shit.

Sharp Pick-Up Line of Note: Hey babe, I'm like a musician at a party. I always make a big entrance and never cum early.

Q. What do you call the musician who plays both the tenor and alto saxophones?
A. Bi-saxual.

Q. What is the favorite tune of the wannabe fast order cook?
A. I Believe I Can Fry.

Q. Why isn't R&B music popular in North Korea?
A. Because they have no Seoul.

Toney Point to Ponder: Does music make you think, considering it did make Stevie Wonder?

Q. What do you call a tailor who composes music when he's not sewing?
A. A Singer song writer.

Q. Why did the pony win the county fair's battle of the bands?
A. 'Cause he was a rocking horse!

Q. What is the name of the new Emo Salsa band?
A. Hispanic at the Disco.

Pick Up a Musician Line: Hey dude, do you play trumpet? 'Cause you're making me horny.

Tone-Deaf Musician Chat Up Line: Hey there, I really want to B with you, if that's not too much treble.

| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Humor | Guitar Jokes | Bad Rap Puns |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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