Q. Why do rock drummers always swear so much?
A. Because they play per-cuss-ion instruments.

Q. What do you get if you cross a computer programmer and a drummer?
A. An algo-rhythm.

Q. Which kind of drum is played by two nuns at the same time?
A. A conundrum.

Rocking Pick-Up Line: Hey dude, are you a drummer? 'Cause I really want to play with your stick.

Q. How can you tell if a drummer is embarrassed by PainfulPuns?
A. His face is beat red.

Q. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A one, a two, a one two three four.

Q. Why do drummers always have so many kids?
A. 'Cause they're not very good at the rhythm method.

Q. What do you call a head injury at a drummers convention in Moscow?
A. A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.

Q. How are drummers just like drums?
A. Both make noise when you hit them with sticks.

Pick-Up a Musician Line: Hey big guy, are you a drummer? 'Cause I'm getting good vibes.

Q. What is it called when a musician beats his bongo so hard that it breaks?
A. Ovely drum-atic.

Q. Why should you date a drummer with caution?
A. Because they beat things for a living.

Q. What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A. They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

Q. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. Drummers don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs!

Rocking Hookup Line: Hey babe, if you were a drum, I'd bang you all night long!

Q. Why didn't the drummer commit a crime?
A. 'Cause he couldn't handle the repercussions!

Q. Which kind of seat does an old metal band drummer sit on?
A. A rocking chair.

Musician Come-On of the Day: Save a drum. Bang a drummer!

Q. How many drummer jokes are there?
A. A one, a two, a one two three four...

Hard Rock Pick-Up Line: Hey dude, is that a drumstick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Q. Why did the drummer really rock out after consuming Colorado cannabis edibles?
A. He had lots of Infusiasm.

Q. Who is the drummer in the Mexican Beatles tribute band?
A. Gringo Starr.

Up Beat Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, drummers have excellent stick control.

Q. How late does the band play?
A. About half a beat ahead of the drummer.

Q. Why was the masturbating drummer so tired?
A. 'Cause he never skipped a beat.

Q. What are the bad consequences a drummer might face when he quits his band?
A. Bad re-percussions.

Q. What do you call a drummer with no arms and no legs?
A. A head banger. OUCH!

Q. What should you do if a man with a drum is at your front door?
A. Tell him to beat it.

A drummer walks into the bar. Guess it's no surprise he didn't see it. OUCH!

Drummer Hookup Line: Babe, I'd love to crash into you harder than a cymbal.

Q. Why do turkeys play drums before Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause they still have their drumsticks then.

Q. What happened when the turkey drummer forgot his drum sticks?
A. He had to wing it.

Q. Why did the landscape maintenance guy become a drummer?
A. 'Cause he liked to beat around the bush.

Q. Why do drummers always seem to lose their watches?
A. 'Cause they have a hard time keeping time.

Q. What's the difference between a drummer and a toilet?
A. A toilet seat only has to deal with one ass at a time.

Q. What do you do with a drummer who can't keep a beat?
A. Take away one stick and make him a conductor.

Q. Why did the drummer get a tattoo of his drum kit?
A. 'Cause it was cymbal-ic.

Q. Why do drummers act so impulsively?
A. 'Cause they don't stop to consider the re-percussions.

Q. Why are rock band's members all such perverts?
A. Because the drummer sits in back beating it, the guitarist is fingering minors, the basist is slapping it around and they all like the pianist.

Q. Why did the drummer's wife want a divorce?
A. 'Cause he snared in bed.

Musician Chat Up Line: Dude, do you play the drums? 'Cause my heart just skipped a beat.

Q. How do you confuse the drummer?
A. Put sheet music in front of him.

Q. What do they call the boring percussionist?
A. The Dull Drums

Q. What do you call someone who hangs around with a band?
A. The Drummer.

Q. What do you call eight drummers sitting in a circle around a fire?
A. A dope ring.

Chat Up a Musician Line: Hey baby, do you play percussion? 'Cause those are some big mallets you've got there.

Old drummers never die because they just stick it out.

Metro Gnomes make great beat cops, too.

Well-Timed Pick-Up Line: Hey big guy, is that a metronome in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Metro gnomes are always on top of funny music puns and timely trends, but they do have some ticks.

Q. What happens if you slep and hit your head on a drum set?
A. You suffer the repercussions.

Q. Why might you expect a one-night-stand with a drummer, as opposed to a guitarist?
A. 'Cause there are no strings attached.

Q. What's in the potent Christmas cocktail called Little Drummer Boy?
A. One part rum, three parts rum pum.

Q. Why didn't the Little Drummer Boy get through the pearly gates?
A. He woke the baby, for Christ's sake!

Q. How can you catch that Little Drummer Boy before the annoying singing starts?
A. Just lay down a snare.

Q. How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
A. You know it's coming, but there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Q. Do old drummers ever die
A. Yes, but the beat goes on.

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