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Q. What is a vampire's least favorite food? A. A Big Long Steak!
Q. How do you make a hamburger smile? A. Pickle it gently!
You might be from Colorado if you highly recomment the Rocky Mountain Oysters to your visiting in-laws!
Ape Chef Asks: Why should you never insult an Italian baker? Because he'll beat the Focaccia!

Q. Why don't Americans eat snails? A. Because they like fast food!
Ape Chef Asks: What do you call a sleeping pizza? A Pizzzzzza!


Funny Food Puns, Chef Jokes, Foodie Humor
Sample tasty chef jokes, delicious food humor, haute cuisine laughs and puns you'll really eat up!

Food Jokes, Tasty Chef Puns, Fun With Food
(Because Foodie Jokes and Cafeteria Food Fights Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Gravy Lovers or Cheesy TV Chefs!)
Warning: Dig In at Your Own Risk! Raw humor, cheesy jokes, and unpalatable puns may be hard to stomach.
| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | Italian Food | Pasta | Pizza | Restaurant | Waiter | Deli | Tex-Mex | Soup | Herb |
| Butcher | Steak | Burger | Hot Dog | BBQ | Beef | Pork | Poultry | Egg | Seafood | Condiment |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Pepper Jokes | Pickle Puns | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry | Ice Cream |
| Baker Jokes | Bread | Butter | Dessert | Pie | Cookie, Candy | Beverage | Coffee | Milk | Soda |

If you think that restaurants overcook steaks, you probably rarely order.Java Joke: Stealing someone's coffee is a crime called "Mugging!"What is the difference between spinach & boogers? Kids won't eat spinach.

Q. What is the lowest grade of steak?
A. Where the rubber meets the road.

Fun Foodie Fact of the Day: Seven days without beef makes one weak.

Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have dragged him a mile! Yes, the bull was really quite testy.

Q. How difficult is the recipe for making beef jerky?
A. It's cut and dry.

Q. How much do steak house patrons enjoy the all-you-can eat buffet?
A. To the fullest.

Q. What do you call sad coffee?
A. Despresso.

Q. Why are Italians so good at making coffee?
A. They know how to espresso themselves.

Q. What did the barista's amante say?
A. I can't espresso my love for you!

Q. Why did the guy add laxatives and cannabis oil to his coffee?
A. Just for some shits and grins.

Q. How do you know you have a serious coffee addiction?
A. Instant coffee takes too long.

Q. What kind of socks does Hulk wear to plant spinach?
A. Garden hose.

Q. Why don't snowmen like carrot cake?
A. Because it tastes like boogers.

Did you know Bruce Lee has a vegetarian brother? His name is Brocco Lee.

Q. Why was the blonde chef crushing tomotoes with her upper legs?
A. She was making Peak 'o de Thigh-o. Duh!

Q. Which kind of vegetable do librarians like most?
A. Quiet Peas!

Food Pun: Every morning, I think I'll make pancakes, but I keep Waffling.Q. Why don't melons get married? A. Because They Cantaloupe!Java Joke: Drinking Too Much Coffe Can Cause a Latte Problems.

Q. Which new dating website caters to chefs and bakers over 50?
A. Flour Time.

Q. How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?
A. 3.14.

Q. What does a pastry chef call it when somebody topples over a tangy dessert pie?
A. Upsetting the apple tart.

Q. What is a baker's favorite musical instrument?
A. Drums, because they already have the breadsticks.

Q. Why did bread break up with margarine?
A. For a butter lover.

Q. How did the baker know somebody spiked his chocolate pie?
A. The proof was in the pudding.

Bakery Point to Ponder: Do cannibals eat gingerbread men for dessert?

Q. Why did the guy break up with his watermelon vendor girlfriend?
A. Because she was always so melon-dramatic about everything!

Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A. Neck-tarines.

Fruity Food Fact of the Day: Did you know that lemons and limes like to fight? Yes, they're bitter rivals.

Q. What did the woman say to her dog, Barry, after he dug up her fruit patch?
A. That's the last straw, Barry!

Q. What is a skeleton's favorite fruit?
A. Spineapple.

Q. What do you call a hangun that looks lke a piece of fruit?
A. A bangnana.

Q. How did the old fruit die?
A. It pear-ished.

Q. How did the local television news report the ruckus at the downtown Starbucks?
A. A Serious Brew-ha-ha.

Decaf Fact of the Day: A yawn is just a silent scream for coffee!

Q. What did the Enterprise replicator say to Captain Kirk when he ordered coffee?
A. Beam me up, biscotti!

Caffeinated Fact of the Day: If you say "Pumpkin Spice Latte" three times, a girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you all the good things about fall.

Q. What kind of coffee do tornadoes like best?
A. House blend.

Q. Why did the barista quit her job at the chic coffee house?
A. It just wasn't her cup of tea.

Q. Where do birds go for their coffee?
A. Nestcafe.

Food Pun: I went to the store to buy some soup but, they were out of stock.A guy got hit in the head by a can of soda. He was lucky it was a soft drink.What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's up in your face? Too Close for Comfort Food.

Q. Why did the chef spill his soup?
A. Because there was a leek in the pot!

Today's Restaurant Special: The conch soup was quite expensive, but the diners were willing to shell out for it.

Q. Why did the soup chef quit his job at the chain restaurant?
A. 'Cause the job benefits didn't include stock options.

Q. How do you make rich soup?
A. Add 24 carrots.

Q. How can you tell if your tomatoes drink alcohol when you're not looking?
A. They're tomato sauced!

Q. What do you call a red potato that tries to pass as a tomato?
A. An imi-tater!

Hot Cooking Laugh of the Day: The chef's cooking was so good that even the smoke alarm cheers him on!

Q. Why did the guy at the Pepsi factory get fired?
A. He tested positive for Coke.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job crushing soft drink cans at the aluminum recycling center?
A. Because it was just soda pressing.

Q. What do you call it when a grocery store only sells soda pop in bottles?
A. Totally un-canny.

Q. What do you get if you put root beer in a square glass?
A. Beer!

Please pardon these soft drink puns. Yes, we know they're soda dumb.

Q. How did the woman feel after she found out how many calories were in her cola?
A. She was soda-pressed.

Chef Pick-Up Line: You're twice as sweet as Creme Brulee, and a lot less drippy.

Q. What did the audience say to the cheesy comedian?
A. That's a Gouda one!

Q. What did Brie say to Jack when he invited Colby along on a date?
A. Two's company, cheese a crowd!

Cheesiest Chef Come-On Ever: If I like you, you'll get a cheese sandwich. But, if I love you, I'll grill it.

Q. Which 1987 thriller film are cheese lovers still drawn to?
A. Feta Attraction.

Cheesy Come-On: Hey girl, are you American cheese? 'Cause I just want to peel you.

Q. Which protien power food is smelly and really strong?
A. Cheese lifting weights.

Today's Sharp Foodie Fun: We would make more cheesy food puns, but that wouldn't be very knife.

Did you hear about the lost sausage? It was the missing link.When making non-dairy butter, there is little margarine for error.After the Butcher Backed Into His Meat Grinder, He Got a Little Behind in His Work.

Whoa, did investigators finally meat their match?

Q. What happened after a monkey exploded at a food testing lab?
A. Rhesus pieces were everywhere.

Q. What did the hot dog say to the movie casting director?
A. Let me be Frank.

Q. What do they serve for lunch at the comedian workshop?
A. Hot dog puns.

Q. What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A. A six-pack in one hand and a hot dog in the other.

Q. What does a hot dog go camping in?
A. A Wiener-Bago!

Q. What does it mean if your kitchen kettle sounds like wind and thunder?
A. A storm is brewing.

Q. Which waterway is the hungriest?
A. Roaring Fork River in western Colorado.

Q. Which waterway is the thirstiest?
A. Big Dry Creek in metro Denver, Colorado.

Q. Why do great chefs always use genuine butter?
A. Because then there's no maragine for error!

Q. What do dairy cows eat up cheese jokes and Painful cheesy food Puns?
A. Because they like corn.

Dairy Funny Food Point to Ponder: If you heard a rumor about better butter, would you spread it?

Q. Which foodie job best suits a cow?
A. Baker, because they make cow pies all the time.

Butter Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl, you're as steamy as butter on a hot baked potato.

Old food critics never die, they just lose their sense of taste.

Q. Why did an ear of corn, a head of cabbage, a carrot and cucumber all jump into the ocean?
A. 'Cause they're all C foods.

Q. Why don't old food canners ever die?
A. Because they're so well-preserved.

Old refrigerator repairmen never die, they just lose their cool.

Q. Why was the food truck parked on the side of the road?
A. To curb hunger.

Q. What happened to that lost beef shipment?
A. Nobody's herd.

Did you hear about the guy who couldn't login to a website using his new password: beefstew? The site error said: Password isn't stroganoff.

Q. What is a beef lover's favorite song lyric of all time?
A. Is it meat you're looking for?

Q. Where do cowboy chefs that spcialize in cooking beef feel right at home?
A. On the range.

Q. What is a steer's least favorite Elvis Presley song?
A. Love Meat Tenders.

Q. Which dining utensil is never found in the cab of an 18-wheeler?
A. A jack knife.

Q. Why did the kitchen colander salesman quit his job?
A. It was just too much of a strain.

| Food Jokes, Foodie Humor | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Grocery Store Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |

| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Nut Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Bread | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

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More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Money Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music Jokes | Poker Jokes | Psychic Jokes | Pumpkin Puns | Religion Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Garden Puns, Green Groaners Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Work Humor, Joking on the JobCheesy Puns & Sharp Humor

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