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Fish Asks: Which pet makes the loudest noise? A. A Trumpet!
You might be from Colorado if you plan all your dinner dates at dog-friendly restaurants!
Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.
Q. What did the alien say to the feline? A. Take me to your litter!

 


Pet Jokes, Pet Animal Puns, Furry Funny Jokes
Find adoptable pet jokes, tame animal humor, feather funny puns and some horsing around.

Pet Animal Humor, Funny Pet Jokes, Pet Peeves
(Because Animal Lovers and Pet Owners with a Tweet Sense of Humor Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at PetsMart!)
Warning: Please Don't Pet the Animals! Furry funny animal puns and jokes ahead, feather you're ready or not.
| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bird Jokes | Cat Jokes and Wildcat Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 |
| Finny Fish Puns | Fishy Humor | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns | Mouse and Rodent Jokes |
| Farm Animal Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Duck and Goose Jokes | Cow Puns | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Bronco Puns | Insect Puns | Scary Animals | Animal Pick-Up Lines |

Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede? A. A Walkie TalkieA cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse, with baited breath.Animal Pun: Did you hear about the snake that gave birth to a bouncing baby boa?

Q. What do you call the pet canary that flew into a pastry plate?
A. Tweetie Pie.

Q. What does a romantic pet parrot offer his lady love?
A. An en-cage-ment ring.

Q. Why do pet crows and ravens tell really dumb jokes?
A. Just be-caws!

Q. Which geometric figure represents a lost parrot?
A. A polygon!

Q. What do you call the pet kitty cat who was caught by the police?
A. The Purr-pet-rator.

Q. What do you call it when a pet cat wins the dog show?
A. A Cat Has Trophy!

Q. What is your pet kitty cat's favorite meal of the day?
A. Sup-purr!

Feline Fine Chat Up Line: Hey there, are you a cat? 'Cause you're purrr-fect.

Pet Reptile Fact of the Day: Snakes really enjoy hisss-terical puns!

Q. What does a snake use to shoot something?
A. A boa and arrow.

Q. What do you call a snake that's not wearing clothes?
A. Snaked!

Q. Which kind of snake routinely only eats dessert?
A. The Pie-Thon!

Q. Do Birds Always Know Exactly Where They're Going? A. No, sometimes they just wing it.Q. What City Has the Largest Rodent Population? A. HamsterdamTwo Fish Are in a Tank. One Asks the Other: "How Do You Drive This Thing?"

Q. Which kind of duck can fix anything?
A. Duck Tape!

Q. What happens when a duck flies upside down?
A. He quacks up!

Q. What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
A. Fowl Weather.

Q. Which kind of bird doesn't need a comb?
A. A bald eagle.

Q. Why did the blonde's pet rodent eat a candle?
A. It wanted a light snack, duh.

Q. Which pet animal is small, furry, and smells like bacon?
A. A hamster.

Q. How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Q. Who helps prairie dogs construct new homes?
A. The hole family.

Q. What party game do pet goldfish like to play?
A. Salmon Says.

Q. Why are pet goldfish orange?
A. The water makes them rusty.

Q. What do you call a smelly fish?
A. A Stink Ray!

Fish Hookup Line: Hey Wanda, wanna come up to my place where I can show you my lure?

Funny Sign at a Toy Store: Please don't feed the animals! They're already stuffed...Q. What is the difference between a fish & a guitar? A. You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pet canary and a lawn mower?
A. Shredded Tweet.

Q. How does info travel so quickly from parrot to parrot?
A. Bird of Mouth!

Q. What do you call a very rude and obnoxious bird?
A. A Mockingbird.

Q. Which kind of fish really likes to play the guitar?
A. Bassist.

Q. Which game show do pet fish enjoy the most?
A. Name That Tuna!

Fishy Pick-Up Line: Hey Wanda, wanna come home with me to see my catfish?

Q. What is a pet duck's favorite television program?
A. The daily feather forecast.

Q. Which dirty bird stole all the soap?
A. The robber ducky!

Q. What did the duck do after he read all these Painful pet Puns?
A. He quacked up!

Fun FarmSaying: A Horse is a Very Stable Animal.My Pig Had a Rash, So the Vet Gave Her Some Oinkment.Q. What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.

Q. What is a horse's favorite state?
A. Neigh-braska.

Q. What is a horse's second favorite state?
A. Maine.

Q. What should you call a horse with no hair on his neck?
A. He shall remain maneless.

Horsey Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, wanna horse around?

Q. What do you call a pig with no legs?
A. A Groundhog!

Q. Why shouldn't you ever tell your pet pig a secret?
A. Because they always squeal!

Q. On which February holiday do pigs elect their new leader?
A. Crowned Hog Day!

Q. Why did the pet pig join the army?
A. He heard the food was a mess.

Q. What do you say to a hitchhiking frog?
A. Hop In.

Q. Why was the little pet tadpole feeling so lonely?
A. Because he was newt to the area.

Q. Where does a frog go to wash up?
A. The river basin.

Q. What does a skydiving frog wear?
A. A jumpsuit.

| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bird Jokes | Cat Jokes and Wildcat Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 |
| Finny Fish Puns | Fishy Humor | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns | Mouse and Rodent Jokes |
| Farm Animal Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Duck and Goose Jokes | Cow Puns | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Bronco Puns | Insect Puns | Scary Animals | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Wild Animals | Bear Jokes | Deer Puns | Monkey Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | 2 |
| Colorado Animals | Animal Music Jokes | Party Animals | Sports Animals | Xmas Animal Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You've purred along this far, so here's even more petty laughter, furry jokes,
arF-ing funny humor and flea-bitten painful puns that deserve a cookie:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Batman Puns | Blonde Jokes | Cheesy Puns | Chef Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Daily Laughs | Hairy Jokes |
| Gnome Kidding! | Hipster Humor | Magician Jokes | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns | Scary Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | Turdy Puns | Weather Jokes | Zombie Puns |

Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch! Edible Puns, Fun with Food Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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