Q. What do you name a fish with no eyes? A. FSH   PainfulPuns.com - Pet Puns + Funny Birds, Cats, Dogs = Pet Peeves

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Q. What did one horse say to another? A. The pace is familiar, but I can't remember the mane!
A pet store had a bird contest, with no perches necessary.
Q. What's sour, green, and swims in an aquarium? A. A trop-pickle fish!
Lion Says: Caturday is the Mane Event!


Cute Animal Jokes, Pet Humor, Pet Peeve Puns
Treat yourself to down home animal humor, cookie pet puns, and funny house pet jokes.

Funny Pet Puns, Pet Jokes, Fuzzy Animal Humor
(Because Pets That Love You and Love to You Tell Funny Animal Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Please Don't Poke the Sleeping Animals! Mousy jokes, dog eat dog humor, and cheep puns ahead.
| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Pet Kitty Cat Jokes | 2 | 3 | Feline Humor | Vet Jokes |
| Dog Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dog Days LOLs | Colorado Dog Jokes | Denver Bronco Dog Jokes |
| Pet Bird Jokes | Parrot Jokes | Duck Jokes | 2 | Tropical Fish and Koi Jokes | Finny Fish Puns |
| Animal Poop Puns | Pet Rodent Jokes | Mouse Puns | Exotic Pets | Frog Jokes | Snake Jokes |

Q. If your dog was a neuroloist, what would he do all day? A. He'd perform pet scans!Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two, but it's cramped!Sheep Says to a Leopard: Caturday is not for the meek!

Q. Why did the poor dog chase his own tale?
A. He was trying to make ends meet.

Q. What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A. He stole the show!

Q. Which canine dialect does an orator use to reach an audience full of anxious dog owners and their dogs?
A. Speaking-ese.

Q. How do you save a drowning pet rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Q. What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
A. Mouse Code.

Q. What did young Rube Goldberg do when he wanted to catch a mouse?
A. He built a better con-trap-tion.

Mouse Pick-Up Line: Mice to meet you!

Q. What do you call a cheetah running a Xerox machine?
A. A copy cat.

Q. What did the lioness say to her cub who was chasing a hunter?
A. Son, don't play with your food.

Wildcat Hookup Line: Hey girl, you wanna play lion tamer? Okay, you get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

Q. What did the sick chick ask the vet? A. Do I have the people pox?Q. Why was the Energizer bunny arrested? A. He was charged with battery!Q. Why aren't fish good tennis players? A. They don't like getting close to the net!

Q. Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A. He wasn't all he was cracked up to be.

Q. What's it called when you can't remember your pet parrot's name?
A. Polynesia.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up.

Q. Why is it so easy for chickens to speak?
A. Because talk is cheep.

Q. What is Superchicken's secrect identity?
A. Cluck Kent.

Q. What is the difference between a healthy pet rabbit and an odd one?
A. One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny.

Q. Which kind of music do urban pet rabbits prefer?
A. Hip Hop.

Q. How did the bunnies deliver so many Easter baskets so quickly?
A. Lots of co-hop-eration.

Q. How do pet rabbits travel?
A. By hare plane.

Q. How does a pet fish access the World Wide Web?
A. It using the Net.

Q. Which part of a fish weighs the most?
A. Its scales.

Q. What do you call a smelly fish?
A. A Stink Ray!

Q. Where do fish look for a new job?
A. In the kelp wanted ads.

Q. How do you make your pet fish laugh?
A. Tell him a whale of a pun!

Q. What do fish use for money? A. Sand Dollars!Wine Humor: Q. Which breed of dog can bring you a glass of red wine? A. The bordeaux vollie!Q. What kind of music do sheep like? A. Baach!

Q. What happened to the pet goldfish that went bankrupt?
A. Now it's a bronzefish.

Q. Where do some former pet store fish work?
A. At their offish.

Q. What did the fish say after he had posted bail?
A. I'm off the hook!

Q. How to shellfish get to the hospital?
A. In a clam-bulance!

Q. What happened to the dog who liked human food with garlic?
A. His bark was worse than his bite.

Q. Who is a pet dog's favorite comedian?
A. Growlcho Marx.

Q. Why did the pet dog bring toilet paper to his master's birthday celebration?
A. He was a real party pooper!

Doggie Hookup Line: Hey babe, you are even cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, and I really want to take you home!

Q. Which bands do sheep like dancing to?
A. Ewe 2 and Ewe B 40.

Q. What is a sheep's favorite pop group?
A. The Pet Sheep Boys.

Q. If dogs have fleas, what do pet sheep have?
A. Fleece!

Q. What do you get if you cross a goat and a lamb?
A. An animal that eats tin cans and gives back steel wool.

Q. What's the difference between a pit bull and an opera singer? A. Lipstick!Q. What did the frog say after lighting up? A. Don't worry, be hoppy!Q. Where does a fish keep his money? A. In a river bank!

Q. Which dog breed has to wear contact lenses?
A. The cock-eyed spaniel.

Q. What time is it when ten dogs chase after one cat?
A. Ten after one.

Q. What did the dog say to the flea?
A. Stop bugging me, Dude!

Dog Chat Up Line: Hey baby, howl are you doin'?

Q. Why are pet frogs so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Q. What happens when two nervous frogs collide?
A. They get tongue-tied.

Q. What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
A. H-opera!

Q. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A. Toad!

Q. Where do fish go to practice yoga?
A. The river bend.

Q. Which fish is the best dressed?
A. The swordfish because they always look sharp!

Q. What do you call a fish with two knees?
A. A tunee fish.

Q. What does the Pope eat during Lent?
A. Holy Mackerel!

| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Vet Jokes | Tropical Fish and Koi Jokes | Finny Fish Puns |
| Dog Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dog Days LOLs | Colorado Dog Jokes | Denver Bronco Dog Jokes |
| Pet Kitty Cat Jokes | 2 | 3 | Feline Humor | Caturday Laughs | Wildcat Humor, Lion Jokes |
| Pet Bird Jokes | Parrot Jokes | Duck Jokes, Quack Puns, and Loon Laughs | 2 | Goose Humor |
| Animal Poop Puns | Pet Rodent Jokes | Mouse Jokes | Rabbit Jokes and Funny Bunny Puns |
| Exotic Pet and Reptile Puns | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | Snake Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes |
| Farm Animals | Horse Jokes | Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Animal Jokes | Party Animal Grins |
| Animal Sports Humor | Animal Music Jokes | Christmas Animal Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines |

PainfulPuns Home
Good Boy! You've lasted this far, so here's even more hairy funny humor,
croaky jokes and catty painful puns that deserve some roars of laughter:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Brainy Jokes | Caturday Puns | Colorado Jokes | Daily Laughs | Germ Jokes | Hairy Jokes |
| Hipster Humor | Light Bulb Jokes | Magician Jokes | Music Jokes | Pickle Jokes | Pirate Puns | Police Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Laughs | Sports Jokes | Tennis Jokes | Travel Jokes | Turdy Puns | Wine Jokes |

Clucking Funny Farm Animal PunsPainful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor

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