Q. What do you call the charasmatic alley cat who was caught by the cops?
A. The purrrr-petrator.

Q. What is purranoia?
A. The nagging fear that your cat is up to something.

Me-Wow! Police are investigating a feline corpse that was found in a Xerox machine. They're calling it a copy cat killing.

Q. How do cats keep their alley crime free?
A. They use claw enforcement.

Q. Who do you get if you cross an angry cat with a French Impressionist painter?
A. Clawed Monet.

Q. Which kind of cat has long hair and just sleeps in his bed all day long?
A. A Him-a-layin'.

Q. Why do pampered house cats always get their own way?
A. 'Cause they're purr-suasive!

Q. Why do cats like Painful cat Puns?
A. 'Cause they're claw-fully funny!

Q. What happened after the cat swallowed a coin?
A. There was finally some money in the kitty!

Cuteness Overdose of the Day: I accidentally took my cat's meds today. No, please don't ask meow I'm doing!

Q. What do you call a cat that doesn't try hard and just gives up?
A. Quitty cat.

Q. What do you call a cat in a convertible?
A. A car-pet.

Q. What does a cat say when he's stuck in a cardboard box?
A. Let me-owt!

Q. What do you call it when your cat is grouchy?
A. A bad mewd.

Q. Why did the cat visit Colorado?
A. She wanted to visit the meow-ntains.

Q. Where do cats like to go on vacation?
A. The Canary Islands.

Q. What is a cat's favorite song?
A. Three Blind Mice.

Q. What did the cat say when the three-legged mouse got away from her?
A. You gotta be kitten me!

Q. Which rodent snack do cats prefer?
A. Mice Krispies

Rodent Point to Ponder: If your cat caught all the mice in your house, does that make it squeaky clean?

Q. What do pet cats like for dessert?
A. Chocolate Mouse.

Q. What was the cat doing on the computer?
A. Just playing with the mouse.

Q. When is it especially bad luck to see a black cat?
A. When you're a mouse.

Q. What is a mouse's least favorite song?
A. What's New Pussycat.

Q. Why do cats have fresh breath?
A. They use mouse wash.

Q. Why do cats always win video games?
A. 'Cause they have nine lives!

Q. How do gracious Parisian cats say thank you?
A. Meow-ci Beaucoup.

Q. Which kind of kitten is really good at tricks and illusions?
A. A Magic Kit.

Q. What do you call the sound your cat made right now?
A. Purr of the moment.

Q. How do purrdy kitties describe themselves?
A. As Purr-fect!

Q. Which vegetable is preferred by happy house cats?
A. As-purr-agus.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A. A Peeping Tom.

Q. What do you call a cat that just ate a duck?
A. A duck-filled platy puss.

Q. Which kind of cat makes the best EMT?
A. A First Aid Kitten.

Q. Why do black cats like wizards better than witches?
A. 'Cause sorcerers hold milk!

Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a black cat and a lemon?
A. A sour puss.

Q. What does a sourpuss eat?
A. Crab meat.

Q. Which kind of kitten is best at roughing it in the great outdoors?
A. A Survival Kit.

Q. What does a witch call a walking line of black cats on Haloween?
A. A Purr-ade.

Q. Which treat do house cats get to eat on their birthday?
A. Cake and mice cream.

Q. Which cat breed makes the most sounds of contentment?
A. Purr-sian Cats.

Q. Which classical melody do Siamese cats like to listen to?
A. Fur Elise.

Q. Why are cats such great singers?
A. 'Cuase they have an ear for mewsic.

Patient: I just can't stop singing, What's New Pussycat.
Shrink: You might have TJS, Tom Jones Syndrome.
Patient: Is that rare?
Shrink: It's not unusual.

Q. Which psychedelic rock band is a cat's favorite?
A. Deep Purr-ple.

Q. What is a cat's favorite classic film set in the hills?
A. The Sound of Mew-sic.

Q. Why are cats such boring storytellers?
A. 'Cause they only have one tail.

Q. What is a catalyst?
A. An alphabetized group of felines.

Q. What is a Catscan?
A. A high-tech medical test machine for cat.

Q. Why did the cops give the kitty cat a ticket?
A. For littering.

Q. What did the mama house cat call her huge litter?
A. A kitten caboodle.

Q. What happened to Miss Kitty after she ate a skein of yarn?
A. She had a litter of mittens.

Q. What did the ghost feed his invisible cat?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What did the cat say to the paper shredder?
A. Teach me everything you know!

Q. What should you never use to brush out your black cat?
A. A catacomb.

Q. What do you call a cat wearing golashes?
A. Puss 'N Boots.

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, my cat is dead, so can I play with your pussy instead?

Feline Fine Point to Ponder: If a cat has nine lives, does a radioactive cat have 18?

Q. How does a house cat keep up on world events?
A. He watches the TV Mews.

Q. Which button on the remote control is every movie buff cat's favorite?
A. The paws button.

Q. What is another name for the Catskill Mountains?
A. The Land of Dead Mice.

Q. What advice did the shrink give the cat with depression?
A. Try to stay paws-itive.

Catty Groan of the Day: Any guy who says he doesn't like cats hasn't had it cooked right. MEOUCH!

Q. Why are cats so afraid of trees?
A. 'Cause of their bark.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A. A sour puss.

Q. What did one alley cat say to another after the fight was over?
A. Sir, you were quite a fur-midable opponent.

Q. What did the poker player do when his cat got hungry?
A. He fed the kitty.

Q. What do you call a Tom cat that just won't stop licking himself?
A. Purr-verted.

Q. Which felines like to go bowling?
A. Alley cats.

Q. What is your house cat's favorite sport?
A. Hairball!

Q. Why did the Tom cat drink a six-pack of water in an hour?
A. He wanted to set a new lap record.

Feline Fine Chat Up Line: Hey there, are you a cat? 'Cause you're purrr-fect.

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey Kat, I hope you have pet insurance, 'cause I'm going destroy your pussy.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Q. Why didn't the cat lady's husband put the cat out?
A. 'Cause he didn't know it was on fire.

Q. Why did the cat lady dump her beau?
A. Because her cats were allergic.

Cat Lady Wisdom of the Day: A cat is easier to train than a man.

Q. What is the name of the cat lady's oldest cat?
A. GrandPaw.

Q. What is it called when you monitor the number of cats a cat lady owns?
A. Keeping tabbies on her.

Q. Why was the cat lady's sweater covered in cat hair?
A. 'Cause the cat trans-furred it there.

Q. What does a polite cat say after he knocks over your potted plant?
A. Paw-don me.

Q. How can you tell if a feline is a snob?
A. By her cat-titude.

Q. What do you call a smelly cat who really likes to eat beans?
A. Puss 'N Toots.

Q. How much does a cat eat at one time?
A. A meowth-ful.

Q. What is a bureaucat?
A. A pet feline that sleeps in your underwear drawer.

Q. How are cats and pumpkins alike?
A. Both just sit on the front porch and wait for you to get home.

Q. How does a hep cat refer to his home?
A. Scratch pad.

Q. How do felines reconcile after a cat fight is over?
A. They just hiss and make up.

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey Kitty, an evening with me is like catnip 'cause I can make a cougar like you go wild.

Q. Which kind of car do dogs really like to chase?
A. Cat-illac.

Q. Which cat was the first to fly an airplane?
A. Kitty Hawk.

Q. Why was an airline passenger escorted off the plane beofore take-off?
A. She let her cat out of the bag.

Q. What do you call the cat that scaled Mt. Everest?
A. A Sher-Paw.

Q. What does Miss Kitty call her reflection?
A. A copycat.

Q. How long can a cat meow until you finally get around to feeding him?
A. Fur Ever!

Q. What do cats order at Mexican restaurants?
A. Mice and Beans.

Q. What do cats use to write handy notes?
A. Scratch paper.

Q. What is the legal term for two cats in a courtroom?
A. Purr-jury.

Q. What did they call the house cat who was caught by the police?
A. The Purr-pet-rator.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the alley cat?
A. 'Cause he was a suspect in a feline-y.

Q. How can you tell when your cat is irritated?
A. She throws a hissy fit.

Q. Who is the leader of all cats in China?
A. Chairman Meow.

Q. Why did the Tom cat drink a six-pack of water in an hour?
A. He wanted to set a new lap record.

Q. What did the Verizon spokes-cat say before he started working for Sprint?
A. Can you hear meow?

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey Kit, they call me the cat whisperer, 'cause I know exactly what a pussy needs.

Q. What did cats install on the toll road?
A. Fee lines.

Q. Which school subject are cats really good at?
A. Hiss-tory.

Q. What does a confused kitty cat say?
A. Mew, I'm so purr-plexed.

Q. What's even smarter than a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.

Q. Where do kittens get to go on field trips?
A. To the Hiss-tory Mewseum.

Q. What is a cat's favorite classic game?
A. Mouse Trap.

Q. What is a kitten's favorite party game?
A. Mewsical Chairs.

Q. What snack do cats like on a really hot day?
A. Mice cream.

Q. Which kind of feline really likes to swim?
A. A catfish.

Q. How can you tell if your cat is content?
A. The sound it makes is purr-oof positive.

Q. What do wild cats sing at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...

Q. What do you call a photo of you taken by your cat?
A. A Paw-trait.

Q. What happened to the adorable little kitten when she scratched her arm?
A. She felt a-cute pain!

Q. How are cats smarter than dogs?
A. You can't get a team of cats to pull a sled through the snow.

Q. Why was the little kitten so small?
A. 'Cause she'd only drink condensed milk!

Q. What is a cat chef's favorite cooking utensil?
A. The wisk-er.

Q. What does Kitty use to order stylish accessories?
A. A catalog.

Q. What did the kitten say when he stubbed his toe?
A. MeOWch!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.