Horse says: You might be from Colorado if an avalance is coming and you're wearing Broncos blinders!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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You might be from Colorado if you've actuallyy seen Bigfoot, in South Partk of all places!
Please stop the cow puns? I'm calving nightmares!
Wolf says: You might be from Colorado if you always dress in lairs!
Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

Bear says: I've partied with Bigfoot in the Colorado high country!

 


Colorado Wildlife Jokes and Denver Animal Humor
Discover mountains of wildlife humor, Colorado animal jokes, wild grins and bearly funny puns.

Denver Animal Jokes and Wild Mile High Puns
(Because Wildly Funny Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Beavers or Wild Animal Lovers in Colorado!)
Warning: Please Don't Feed ON the Animals! Lively wildlife jokes, hairy humor, and fauna puns ahead.
| Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Denver Dog Jokes | 2 | Donkey Jokes | Horse Humor | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Bigfoot | Sasquatch | Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Fish Jokes | Goose Jokes | Cow Puns |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High LOLs |
| Colorado Jokes | Denver Puns | Cowboy Jokes | Colorado Weather Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |

You might be from Colorado if a bear on your front porch doesn't bother you!Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!You might be from Colorado if you use bear-proof trash cans!

Q. What do you call a group of Colorado bruins that are cracking each other up?
A. A bear-all of laughs.

Q. What do Colorado brown bears call campers in sleeping bags?
A. Soft Tacos!

Patient: I feel like I'm turning into a bear.
Psychiatrist: Smokey, how long have you felt this way?
Patient: Ever since I was a cub scout in Evergreen, Colorado.

Q. What is the most common pick-up line among black bears outside the Evergreen, Colorado singles bar?
A. What's ursine?

Q. Which Colorado bruin hibernates while standing on his head?
A. Yoga Bear.

Q. How can you tell if you've seen an alligator or a crocodile in a Denver sewer?
A1. One you see later, and the other you see after a while.
A2. Or, it might just be Denver lawyer, Frank Azar (suer supreme).

Q. What do you call an alligator drug addict in the Denver sewers?
A. A crackodile.

Q. What is it called when big hairy spiders rain down out of the sky near Four Corners, Colorado?
A. A tarantula downpour!

Rocky Mountain Wildlife Point to Ponder: Why do most Colorado Bigfoot sightings occur in the High Country?

Q. What did Bigfoot do after he retired from the Colorado Springs Police Department?
A. He became a Night Squatchman.

Q. What do you call a wet bear in Colorado?
A. A drizzly bear.

Q. How many skunks does it take to make a big stink outside a Denver port-o-potty?
A. A Phew!

Q. In Colorado, what do you call a grizzly who has lost all his teeth?
A. A Gummy Bear!

Bearly Passable Colorado Wildlife Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, it's cold outside. Let's go back to my Mile High cave and hiber-mate.

Q. What is the mating ground of the Abominable Snowman?
A. Loveland Pass, Colorado.

Q. What do Sasquatches above South Park, Colorado keep as pets?
A. Tribbles.

You might be from Colorado if your bridal registry is at REI!Q. What do you call rude Canada geese in a Colorado park? A. @#$%^&*! And, Coloradans are pretty polite.You might be from Colorado if you missed this exhibit at the Denver Zoo!

Q. What do Coloradans call a noisy horse?
A. A herd animal!

Q. What's the difference between a horse and Colorado's weather?
A. One's reined up, and the other rains down.

Q. What do Colorado wild horses say about Painful Puns that feature equines?
A. Neigh!

Q. Why did the Colorado dude ranch owner name his horse Flattery?
A. Because it got him nowhere.

Q. What do Colorado equistrian enthusiasts look for in a horse surgeon?
A. Stable hands.

Q. Why are successful rodeo cowboys raised in Colorado so rich?
A. Because every bronco gives them a buck or two.

I went goose hunting in Colorado the other day. Once they started flying, I knew the game was up.

Q. What sensation really gives a Canada goose in Cheesman Park the creeps?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. What is a goose's favorite television show?
A. The Denver feather forecast!

Q. When will migrating geese in Colorado finally reach their destination in Canada?
A. That's still up in the air.

Q. What does a well-dressed mallard wear to a formal affair at the Brown Palace Hotel?
A. His ducks-edo.

Q. What do Coloradans call it when a new mother Great Horned Owl tries to feed the wrong babies?
A. An on-nest mistake.

Q. If the Denver Zoo opened a brew pub, which beer would they serve?
A. Hungry Hungry Hoppos.

Q. What steps should you take if you see Bigfoot gambling in Cripple Creek?
A. Very large ones.

Q. Why are there so many more Bigfoot sightings in the Denver foothills lately?
A. Because Squatches moved here, just like everybody else!

Q. How do you know it's a privaledge to live in Colorado?
A. Bigfoot rarely makes an appearance, yeti showed up in Colorado to joke around here at Painful Puns!

Q. How do Coloradans know Bigfoot isn't a Denver Broncos' fan?
A. He has not been seen anywhere near Empower Stadium.

You might be from Colorado if you go Squatching!Q. Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A. He's got no beef!Ram says: Have you heard the story about a hill in Colorado? I just couldn't get over it!

Bigfoot rarely makes an appearance, yeti showed up in Colorado to joke around here!

Q. Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're killer comedians.

Q. How do you make a Colorado squatch laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke.

Q. Why are there so many Bigfoot sightings on Mt. Elbert in Colorado?
A. Because it's in the Sawatch Range.

Q. Why did Mt. Everest Yetis visit Pike's Peak and then Cripple Creek, Colorado?
A. T-Bet on Bigfoot sightings.

Did you know Bigfoot works as a cop in Denver? Of course not, he's undercover!

Q. What kind of car does a Colorado cattleman's champion bull drive?
A. A Cattle-ac.

Q. What do Cowlorado cattle drive when the car is broken?
A. A COWasaki MOOtorcycle.

Q. What does a Colorado rancher call bad directions from a cow?
A. A bum steer.

Q. What happened to the Colorado cow that was lifted into a tornado?
A. Udder disaster.

Q. Why do Colorado cows like to ski Aspen?
A. Because of all the moo-guls.

Q. In Colorado, what do you call a cow with only two left feet?
A. A side of beef.

Q. How do Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep stay warm during the Colorado winter season?
A. Central bleating.

Q. How do bighorn sheep fall asleep along I70 near Georgetown?
A. By counting humans.

Q. Why did the Rocky Mountain Bighorn Sheep go to the doctor?
A. Because it was feeling really baaad.

Q. Which University of Northern Colorado fraternity has the most sheep?
A. Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Q.Why aren't Bigfoots sighted in Georgetown, Colorado?
A. Too much competition with Big Horn Sheep.

Q. What do you call a baby donkey? A. A Burrito!Q. What did one horse say to another? A. The pace is familiar, but I can't remember the mane!Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!

Q. What do you call a donkey with a banjo at the Telluride, Colorado music festival?
A. Bluegr-ass.

Q. What do folks in Pueblo, Colorado call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Q. What happened when the blonde guy hired a mini donkey on E Colfax?
A. He got a little ass.

Q. What do high country horses in Colorado see before they hear thunder?
A. A lightning colt.

Q. Which medication does a lisping snake take before giving a presentation to the Colorado Parks Department?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.

Q. What do raccoons in Niwot, Colorado do after they've raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs.

Q. What is it called when a resident of Evergreen, Colorado dreams black bears are currently in their kitchen raiding the refrigerator?
A. A bite-mare.

Q. Where do Colorado bruins inter their deceased brethren?
A. In the local bear-ial grounds.

Q. How does Sasquatch find his way through the remote Colorado woods?
A. He sticks to the big footpath.

Colorado Winter Point to Ponder: During a blizzard, how would you even know if you saw Bigfoot, or if that actually was the Abominable Snowman?

Two stoners were out for a leisurely walk in Colorado and saw a fly on a pile of horse crap. One pothead said the other, "Wow, he really had to go bad!"

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on a Colorado trail?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

Q. What sickness can a Denverite get from riding a wild horse?
A. Bronco-hitis!

Q. Why was The Incredible Hulk fired from his gig as weatherman on Denver's 9News?
A. Because his forecast was always the same: Partly cloudy with a 50% chance of pain, and because Kathy Sabine's horse kicked him out of her way...

Q. What do Denverites call a poem composed by clever Colorado canines that you have to scan to understand?
A. A bark ode.

Q. What do you call it when a mean detective mutt follows you around at Denver International Airport?
A. Being cur-tailed.

Q. Which popular breed of dog in Colorado has the most coins?
A. Bloodhounds, because they're always picking up cents around the Denver Mint.

Q. Why was the squirrel in Denver's Wash Park so stressed out?
A. Because he spent so much time out on a limb.

Colorado Wildlife Joke of the Day: If you had a dollar for every deer joke on this page, you'd have one buck.

Q. What happens when ducks fly upside down over a Colorado cannabis grow?
A. They quack up!

You might be from Colorado if you refer to tourists as pilgrims or turkeys.

Q. What do ducks and geese like about the great outdoors in Colorado?
A. Debris!

Q. What happened after the Turkey Vultures at Deckers, Colorado figured out the branch wouldn’t hold their nest?
A. Nothing. They weren't going to dwell on it.

Rich Denver Point to Ponder: Are pigeons wealthy? 'Cause they have no problem making deposits on expensive cars parked in Cherry Creek.

Q. Why was a Sloan's Lake duck arguing with the plastic surgeon?
A. Because he wanted to have his bill reduced.

Q. What do a plastic surgeon and a blonde urban chicken farmer in Arvada, Colorado have in common?
A. Both can supply really big breasts.

Q. What do Denver weathermen call it when ducks and geese suddenly fall out of the sky?
A. Fowl Weather.

A man returned to the vet clinic in Trinidad, Colorado to see if his pet's surgery was successful. Vet says, "Here's the bill. Unfortunately, we couldn't reattach it to your duck."

Q. Why did the Colorado poultry farmer always tell jokes to the hens?
A. He liked to egg them on.

| Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Colorado Dog Jokes | 2 | Donkey Jokes | Horse Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch | Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Fish Jokes | Goose | Cow Puns |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Nightlife |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Miles High Puns | Weed Jokes | Munchies |
| Colorado Weather Jokes | Weatherman Humor | 2 | Cold Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |

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