Colorado High Country Point to Ponder: Bigfoot and the moniker Front Range Foothills. Coincidence or not?

Q. Why do Bigfoots in Colorado like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're killer comedians.

Q. Why does Colorado Bigfoot like to hear these jokes?
A. Because Sasquatch doesn't want to myth out on the punch lines!

Q. Why aren't there more Colorado Bigfoot jokes?
A. There are, but they're really hard to find!

Q. How do you make a Cripple Creek bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke.

Bigfoot rarely makes an appearance, Yeti showed up to joke around in Colorado!

Q. How do you rescue Bigfoot on I25?
A. With a big toe truck!

Q. What is Bigfoot's favorite Colorado festival?
A. Frozen Dead Guy Day in Nederland.

Q. What did Denver CBS 4 News call their story about Bigfoot sightings?
A. Eye Scene Sasquatch.

Q. Why did Bigfoot run around Colorado with a piece of raw meat on his head?
A. Some tourist called him a Big Grill-a!

Q. Where does a Sasquatch go to party in the Front Range foothills?
A. Only Bigfoots and hispters know.

Q. What do you call it when a voyeur Bigfoot spies on horny campers in sleeping bags?
A. Going Sacks-Watching!

Q. Whay are Bigfoot sightings so rare in South Park, Colorado?
A. Because the space aliens there erase your memory.

Q. Where is the best place for searching for Bigfoot in the Colorado mountains?
A. The Sawatch Range.

Q. Why does Pike's Peak Bigfoot prefer being referred to as Sasquatch?
A. Because his big squatch is more remarkable than his big foot is!

Q. How can you tell the Sawatch Sasquatch has a great sense of humor?
A. These Bigfoot jokes are really dumb, Yeti laughs anyway!

Q. What does Bigfoot say when he sees Colorado campers in sleeping bags?
A. Yum, Hot Pockets!

Q. Why are there so many more Bigfoot sightings in the Denver foothills lately?
A. Because Squatches moved here, just like everybody else!

Q. What did Bigfoot do after he retired from the Colorado Springs Police Department?
A. He became a Night Squatchman.

Q. What excuse did Bigfoot have for abducting a pretty girl on Mt. Evans?
A. She brought out the beast in me!

Q. Why is Sawatch Sasquatch such an excellent rock climber?
A. 'Cause he's great at getting a big foothold.

Q. Why do Bigfoots hide in Colorado?
A. Because all the tourists freak them out.

Q. Why did the podiatrist relocate to the Pikes Peak region?
A. He heard there's lots of Bigfoots there.

Q. What is the real reason the historic Pike's Peak Cog Railway was shut down?
A. It was too expensive to make up cover stories about all the Bigfoot sightings!

Q. Why doesn't Bigfoot wear shoes?
A. Because there is no Tall and Big Footwear Store near Pike's Peak.

Q. Which Denver green space did yuppie Bigfoots frequent during the 1980s?
A. SWash Park.

Q. What did Bigfoot order at the Squatch Cafe near Boulder, Colorado?
A. Succotash with Sassafrass tea.

Q. Why did Mt. Everest Yetis visit Pike's Peak and then Cripple Creek, Colorado?
A. T-Bet on Bigfoot sightings.

Q. Why did Lady Bigfoot in Colorado Springs call off her engagement to The Invisible Man in Manitou Springs?
A. Nobody would see their wedding!

Q. What do you call a Colorado Bigfoot that enjoys craft beer?
A. The Hopominable Snowman!

Q. What do Coloradans call a touchy-feely mutant Sasquatch?
A. BigHands.

Did you hear about the Bigfoot in Colorado who broke up with his lady in the fog? Now he's known as Girl-less in the Mist.

Q. Why doesn't Bigfoot wear clown shoes?
A. Because that would make Sasquatch the most frightening creature in Colorado!

Sasquatch Point to Ponder: Why do most Colorado Bigfoot sightings occur in the High Country?

Q. Why are there so many Bigfoot sightings in Colorado?
A. Because sasquatches like the high country view and skunk apes enjoy the smell of skunk weed.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado Bigfoot hunting trips?
A. High-powered night vision cameras.

Colorado Point to Ponder: Is it possible that your standoffish nextdoor neighbor is actually a clean-shaven Bigfoot?

Q. How do you know Bigfoot isn't a Denver Broncos' fan?
A. He has not been seen anywhere near Empower Stadium.

Q. Why isn't Sasquatch a Denver Broncos fan this year?
A. 'Cause he can't face big de-feet!

Q. Why doesn't Bigfoot play for the Denver Broncos?
A. Because Sasquatch is afraid of clowns!

Q. Which Colorado pro athletics team boasts the most Bigfoots?
A. The Denver Nuggets.

Rocky Mountains Point to Ponder: Do native sasquatches resent all of the big new foot paths in Colorado parks?

Q. For maximum effect, what time does Bigfoot pop a Coors and smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Q. How can you tell that Pike's Peak Bigfoot is a rap fan?
A. He likes to knock on wood.

Q. What happens if you actually find Bigfoot in Colorado?
A. You also find big toes!

Q. If a Sasquatch falls out of a tree in the woods, does it make a sound?
A. Yes, but only hipsters can hear it, at this time!

Q. Who gives a young Teller County bigfoot money for his teeth?
A. The Tooth Hairy!

Q. Why won't you ever catch sight of Bigfoot on Lookout Mountain?
A. Jeffco Sheriff's Office is looking into that.

Did you know Bigfoot works as a cop in Denver? Of course not, he's undercover on the 16yh Street Mall.

Q. Where does a Colorado Sasquatch vacation when he goes Back East?
A. Lake Eerie.

Q. What is Colorado Bigfoot's favorite Jimi Hendrix song?
A. All Along the Squatch-Tower.

Q. Why aren't Bigfoots sighted in Georgetown, Colorado?
A. Too much competition with Big Horn Sheep.

Q. Where does Sawatch Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
A. In a big footlocker.

Q. Which kind of car does Bigfoot drive on 285 through South Park?
A. A Furrari.

Q. Where does a Colorado Bigfoot covertly vacation in Canada?
A. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan!

Q. Why does Bigfoot only leave a few random footprints behind?
A. Because Sasquatch doesn't leave litter in the pristine Colorado outdoors.

Q. Are Bigfoots in Manitou Springs superstitious?
A. Yes, they always knock on wood!

Q. Why are Colorado Bigfoots Hairy?
A. Because they're not Tom or Dick.

Q. What did Bigfoot in South Park say to his psychiatrist?
A. I feel abominable.

Q. What is the mating ground of the Abominable Snowman?
A. Loveland Pass, Colorado.

Q. What do you get if you cross the Abominable Snowman and a Colorado werewolf?
A. Frostbite!

Q. Where does Colorado Bigfoot go to vacation?
A. Nobody knows...

Q. Which scientific and cultural facility do Bigfoots avoid in Colorado?
A. The Denver Zoo.

St. Mary's Glacier Bigfoot Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, now I'm harder than permafrost!

Q. What's the difference between a man and a Pike National Forest Sasquatch?
A. One's covered in matted hair and smells bad; the other has big feet.

Q. How did the Cache la Poudre River in Colorado get its name?
A. Early explorers saw Sasquatch and Bigfoot tossing turds at each other across the river.

Q. If Bigfoot farts in the Colorado woods, does it make a sound?
A. Yes, but nobody is around to hear it, or smell it!

Q. How does Bigfoot find his way through the remote Colorado woods?
A. He sticks to the big footpath.

Q. What is Sasquatch's favorite sport?
A. Bigfootball. Go Broncos!

Q. Why do Colorado Bigfoots have big nostrils?
A. Because they have big fingers!

Bigfoot Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, you must be from my future in Colorado because you're turning me into Homo Erectus!

Q. Where is the best place to find Bigfoot in Colorado?
A. Wherever you left him.

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