Green alien says: Space aliens are Broncos fans because Denver is a mile cloer to home!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Ape chef says: You might be from Colorado if you fire up the grill after shoveling a foot of snow off the deck!
You might be from Colorado if hail freaks you out so bad that you have a hard time getting a cab!
Q. Why do Denver Broncos' fans fail a drug test? A. They're always a mile high!
You might be from Colorado if Bigfoot Saw YOU!
Hot peppers say: G O Denver! OMG! Broncos are hot!
Q. What do you call a pothead hula dancer? A. Shake 'N Bake!

 


Colorado Jokes, Denver Puns, Mountain Humor
Come up for colorful Colorado jokes and high country humor. Get down with Denver local laughs.

Coloradan Humor, Mile High Puns, Denver Jokes
(Because Rocky Mountain Jokes and Mile High Denver Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Colorado)
Warning: Descend At Safe Speed! Mountains of jokes, fast Colorado humor, sloping LOLs and bumpy puns below.
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Rocky Wildlife Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Weather | Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |

You might be from Colorado if you've seen Bigfoot in a driverless beer truck on I25!Horse says: You might be from Colorado if an avalance is coming and you're wearing Broncos blinders!Bull asks: Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull dragged him more than a mile!

Q. What do you call a Colorado Sasquatch that enjoys craft beer?
A. The Hopominable Snowman!

Q. What excuse did Bigfoot have for abducting a pretty girl?
A. She brought out the beast in me!

Q. Are sasquatches in Manitou Springs superstitious?
A. Yes, they always knock on wood!

Colorado Point to Ponder: Bigfoot and the moniker Front Range Foothills. Coincidence or not?

Q. Where is the best place to find Bigfoot in Colorado?
A. Wherever you left him.

Q. Why are Colorado Sasquatches Hairy?
A. Because they're not Tom or Dick.

Q. Why doesn't Bigfoot play for the Denver Broncos?
A. Because Sasquatch is afraid of clowns!

Q. Why are Colorado mountain puns so funny?
A. Because they really peak your interest!

Q. Why does toilet paper like alpine skiing on Colorado slopes?
A. That's the fastest way to the bottom.

Q. What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
A. It knocked him out cold!

Q. What did the Breckenridge snowman say to his son?
A. I told you if you kept crossing your eyes, they'd freeze that way!

Q. Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
A. Denver Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.

Q. In Colorado, what is it called when you're stuck in a polar vortex without any beer?
A. Cold sober.

Q. Why do cows like Painful Cowlorado Puns?
A. They like being a-moosed.

Q. What did the Colorado grill master say to the vegan?
A. Sorry, I can't listen to you rant right now, while more important things are at steak.

Q. What do Colorado ranchers call a bull that pleasures himself?
A. Beef-Strokin'-Off!

Q. What kind of car does a Colorado cattleman's champion bull drive?
A. A Cattle-ac.

Today's Colorado Bull Sh*t Point to Ponder:
Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef?

Q. How can Coloradans tell if steaks have a high I.Q.?
A. They loin fast.

Alien Point to Ponder: Do LGM in Four Corners, Colorado prefer chilie Mesa Verde?

You might be from Colorado if you're determined to finish the hike around the mountain lake come hell or high water!Pot of salsa says: You might be from Colorado if you know the names of all the hot peppers and can eat them without hurting yourself!Chimp asks: What do an Oakland Raiders fan and a bottle of beer have in common? A. They're both empty from the neck up! Go Broncos!

Q. If you're hiking in Colorado and find a fork in the road, what should you do?
A. Stop for lunch!

Q. What do you call stage actors who like to go fly fishing along the Frying Pan River in Colorado?
A. Cast members.

Q. Where can you get a scary good hair cut in Estes Park, Colorado?
A. At Hair's Johnny Salon in the Stanley Hotel.

Q. What do Coloradans call a hipster in Central City who plays poker well?
A. Chipster.

Patient: I feel like a pack of cards.
Cripple Creek Shrink: I see. I'll deal with you later...

Q. What did the Colorado chef say when questioned about his jokes?
A. My puns are corny as taco shells!

Alien Visitor Colorado Tourism Point to Ponder: Do Little Green Men prefer Hatch chilies from New Mexico, or Colorado's Pueblo chilies?

Customer: Waiter, this green burrito tastes funny.
Casa Bonita Waiter: Then, why aren't you laughing?

Q. What is a Denver dog's favorite Tex-Mex treat?
A. Puppitos! (pumpkin seeds)

Q. In Colorado, how do green chilie chefs live their lives?
A. They season the day.

Q. What does a Broncos fan say to a gloating Raiders fan?
A. Just Buck Off!

Q. Why are Denver Broncos fans in such great shape?
A. They digest a stable diet and exercise caution when telling horsey sports jokes at the brew pub.

Q. Why is beer better than a woman?
A. Because Colorado craft beer likes when you joke about it on social media!

Deja Brew: Haven't we been to this Denver Brew Pub before?

Q. What did the unhappy guy say after his limb replacement surgery was botched at Denver Health Medical Center?
A. I'll kill 'em with my bear hand!

Q. What do the Denver Broncos and Billy Graham have in common? A. Both can make 50,000 people stand up and say "Oh My God!"Denver asks: Did you hear about the new high-tech sculpture of Colorado? It isstate of the art!Q. What do you do if you see a space man while getting high? A. Park in it Dude!

If Denver's stadium doesn't even have a name, does it really even need one? Isn't selling your name like selling your soul?

Q. How does a dad explain a preseason Denver Broncos loss to his young son?
A. It's okay, they were just a little hoarse.

Q. What did the near-sighted chihuahua in Empower Stadium say when he finally got that last Painful Bronco Pun?
A. Eye Carumba!

Q. What did the dyslexic beer drinker order at the LoDo Denver craft beer pub?
A. A Large.

Q. Why didn't the recipe for vodka-flavored brats catch on at the LoDo hipster eatery?
A. Because it was the Absolut Wurst!

Q. Why did the librarian get booted off the flight to DIA?
A. It was overbooked.

Blonde: My son came here to Denver on his summer vacation.
Friend: Did you meet him at DIA?
Blonde: No, I've known him his whole life.

Q. What is the definition of a terminal Rocky Mountain illness?
A. When you get sick at Denver International Airport.

Q. Which vehicle does Darth Vader drive while vacationing in Colorado?
A. Nissan Rogue.

Q. How did passengers from 1936 to 1973 describe a cross-country trip taken on the Denver Zephyr?
A. Relaxing and planeless.

Q. What happens when blondes move from Kansas to Colorado?
A. Colorado gets even more colorful.

Q. What happens if you consume 5280 cannabis edibles?
A. You get a pot belly, but you know you'll work it off in a mile.

Q. How do partying skeletons in Colorado get high on the weekend?
A. Marrow-juana.

Q. What defense did the grower use before Colorado legalized cannabis?
A. Your Honor, weed is not a drug; it is a plant. Therefore, I am an horticulturist.

Have you heard about the new shop in Colorado that only deals in cannabis and vodka? Everybody who shops there leaves with high spirits.

You might be from Colorado if you grew up planning your Halloween costume around your parka!Q. What do you call a can in Colorado wearing an Xmas hat? A. A Merry Can!Q. Where do you go in Denver if there's a tornado? A. The field at Mile High. They never get touchdowns there...

Did you hear about the blonde hipster who wore a jacket in Grand Junction, Colorado during summer, before it was cool? EMTs took her to the ER due to heat exhaustion.

Q. If a hipster hiker trips and falls in the forest surrounding Evergreen, Colorado, does he make a sound?
A. Yes, but you won't likely hear of it.

Q. What do you call a Denver Mint employee who sky dives on the weekends?
A. Penny from heaven.

Q. When does it rain money in Colorado?
A. When there's a change in the weather.

Q. What's the difference between a vampire with a toothache and a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. One roars in pain. The other pours in rain.

Q. How can you tell if a rural Colorado chicken is a survivalist?
A. She lays pickled eggs.

Q. When Colorado Santa's not wearing red, what is his favorite color?
A. Ganja Green.

Q. What was the name of Rudolph's lesser-known stoner brother who wintered in Colorado?
A. Ricky, the red-eyed reindeer.

Q. What did the beaver say before cutting down a Colorado Blue Spruce Christmas tree?
A. Nice gnawing yew!

Q. Why did the Colorado snowman visit an orthodontist?
A. To correct his frostbite!

Q. Why did the Colorado pothead leave milk and edible cookies out on 420 eve?
A. For Willie Nelson.

Q. What did one Colorado snowflake say to the other during the blizzard?
A. Two's company. Three's a cloud.

Q. Why do the Denver Broncos have two mascots, Thunder and Miles?
A. To distract the fans from any horsing around during the game.

Did you notice after Colorado legalized marijuana, nobody knows the name of the Broncos stadium?

Q. What happened to the Colorado cow that was lifted into a tornado?
A. Udder disaster, not alien mutilations – this time...

Q. What condition did the gosling suffer from when the Colorado weather turned cold?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. Where are habitual criminal pigs in Colorado sent?
A. To the State Pen.

Q. Which Colorado Painful Puns do pigs enjoy the most?
A. The corniest ones!

| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Nightlife LOLs | Denver Dog Jokes | Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Miles High Humor | Weed Jokes | Munchies |
| Colorado Weather Jokes | Cool Weather Humor | 2 | Cold Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |

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