Old Most Interesting Man in the World: A Denver Broncos fan doesn't eat pastries, but when he does, it's usually a turnover!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Alien says: You might be from Colorado if you believe in going green!
Ancient Aliens Big Hair Guy says: In alien speak @#$%^&*! means Go Broncos!
Q. How can you tell your Colorado locksmith is a hottie? A. He's Smo-King!
Old Most Interesing Man: He always knows when Denver will score, or not... Go Nroncos!

 


Colorado Humor, Mountain Jokes, Altitude Puns
Welcome to western horse-pitality puns, high country humor, and Colorful Colorado jokes.

Colorado Jokes and Insider Coloradan Humor
(Because Greater Denver Suburban Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Metropolitan Colorado?)
Warning: Mile UP at Your Own Risk! Denver puns, Colorado jokes, elevated laughs and horsing around ahead.
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Rocky Wildlife Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Weather | Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |

Q. What is the Colorado state motto? A. Marijuana, can't we all just get a bong!Q. Why do the mountains lean toward teh east? A. Because Aurora sucks!Q. What do you call a rude Canada goose in Colorado? A. One? Are you freaking serious?

In Colorado, some people treat their pets with medical marijuana. Which is great because cats need another reason to sit on the couch all day.

Q. What happens when blondes move from Kansas to Colorado?
A. Colorado gets even more colorful.

Colorado Cannabis Trivia: Mary Jane Mountain became part of Winter Park Ski Resort on January 30, 1975, adding 18 new trails to the high country.

Q. How did the Boulder stoner feel when he fell into a vat of cannabis-infused vodka?
A. He was in high spirits!

Q. What is the hot new slogan of the Aurora Notel on E Colfax?
A. You've Rented the Room, Now Buy the Video!

Q. What is the slogan of the other Aurora Notel on E Colfax?
A. As Seen On COPS!

Q. What is the new and improved slogan of the Aurora Notel on E Colfax?
A. Not Just For Nooners Anymore!

Q. What's the best part of urban gardening along East Colfax Avenue in Aurora?
A. Getting down and dirty with the hoes.

Q. When the octet of geese walked into a Lower Downtown Denver (LoDo) juice bar, what did they order?
A. V-8!

Q. What do you call a very rude goose flying over Coors Field in Denver?
A. A Mockingbird!

Q. What sensation really gives a Canada goose in Cheesman Park the creeps?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. What would happen if pigs could fly over the Mile High City?
A. The price of bacon would go up.

You might be from Colorado if you always know what the elevation is, no matter where you are!Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. Um, what was the question , again?You might be from Colorado if you've gone off-roading in a vehicle that wasn't intended for tht activity!

Q. Why are jokes about the Colorado mountains so funny?
A. Because they're so high!

Denver Locksmith Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, did you call a locksmith? 'Cause GPS took me straight to your mile high lock-ation.

You might be from Colorado if toward the mountains and away from the mountains are legit directions.

Colorado Travel Point to Ponder: If you want to hang a map and add pushpins of places you've been, do you have to visit Four Corners Monument first?

Q. Which weather feature do Mile High potheads like best?
A. The Highs.

Q. Where do Denver meteorologists stop on their way home after a busy weather day at work?
A. The Isobar.

Classic 420 Quip: In Colorado, the focus is on repairing pot holes, not disrepairing potheads.

Q. What did the Terminator say when he visited the Rocky Mountain Spring Water brew pub in Golden, Colorado?
A. Bud, I'll Be Bock!

Did you hear about the Colorado tourist who got cold while paddling up stream? He lit a fire in his boat, only to discover you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Q. What is a Colorado native's definition of derange?
A. Where de cowboys ride wild.

Q. Why did the Colorado chicken stop crossing Morrison Road?
A. She had absolutely no sense of humor!

Q. What do you call it when you jump off of Lookout Mountain with a chicken in each hand?
A. Hen Gliding!

Q. What do you call a baby donkey? A. A Burrito!You might be from Colorado if ou dress in shorts and flip flops because the weaterh forecast is 50!Q. How do modern cowboys stay in touch? A. They send tex messages!

Q. What do you call a donkey with a banjo in Telluride, Colorado?
A. Bluegr-ass.

Q. What do you call a Boulder, Colorado donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Q. What happens when you buy a mini donkey in Colorado?
A. You get a little ass.

Q. Why did the Colorado dude ranch owner name his horse Flattery?
A. Because it got him nowhere.

Q. Why do NOAA Boulder weather forecast models suffer from depression?
A. They're told they're unattractive and wrong much of the time.

Q. What is the meteorological term for when high pressure goes on vacation to Colorado?
A. HIatus.

Colorado Weather Point to Ponder: Why do they call it Right As Rain, if you're all wet?

Patient: I think I'm a bridge on I25!
Mile High Shrink: What's come over you?
Patient: Several cars, a semi, and a driverless beer truck.

Q. What did the Colorado veterinarian give to a sick horse?
A. Cough Stirrup!

Q. Where do Coloradans take their horses when they're sick?
A. To the horse-pital!

Q. Why don't race horses from Colorado wear underwear?
A. Because it rides up on them.

Q. What do Colorado wild horses say about Painful Puns that feature equines?
A. Neigh!

Q. What do you call it when a cow blends into its surroundings? A. Being ca-moo-flauged!You might be from Littleton if you fondly remember woodsies at Daniel's Park!Zombie asks: What's the difference between a Broncos' fan and a baby? A. The baby will stop whining after a while! Go Broncos!

Coloradan Groan of the Day: A novice camper in Rocky Mountain National Park went down to Estes Park trying to buy a camouflage tent, but couldn't find any.

Q. How do you get a Cowlorado cow to be quiet?
A. Press the moot button.

Q. Why do Cowlorado cows have hooves instead of feet?
A. Because they lactose!

Q. What do you call a Colorado doctor who lives at a tent-filled mountain resort to treat visitor's afflictions?
A. A camp-pain manager.

Q. Why don't Denverites drink Flat Tire beer?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?

Q. Back in the day, what did the Terminator say when he visited the downtown Littleton bar?
A. Hut! I'll Be Bock!

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. The psychic on Main St. believes it's a poultry-guess.

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Locals know it's actually cannibal Alferd Packer because he just doesn't have a taste for chicken meat.

Q. What is the insider name of the medical facility at the Denver Broncos training camp at Dove Valley?
A. The Horsepital!

Q. Where do many true blue (and orange) Denver Broncos fans live?
A. Mane Street in Downtown Littleton.

Q. Why wouldn't the skeleton go to a Broncos game?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. Why will the Denver Donkeys win every football game next year?
A. Because they have a twenty-mule team game plan.

| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Bear Jokes | Deer Puns |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Humor | Weed Jokes | Munchies |
| Colorado Weather Jokes | Weatherman Humor | 2 | Cold Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |

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