Q. Why do hipsters tend to stick to back country streams in Colorado? A. Because they're less main stream!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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You might be from Colorado if it snows two feet and you don't expect school to be canceled!
Ape says: I bought a pair of hiking boots in Colorado from a drug dealer! I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!
Colorado Fact: If you don't like the weaterh, just wait five minutes!
Q. What do you call a rude Canada goose in Colorado? A. One? Are you freaking serious?
You might be from Colordo if you actually know South Park is a real place and not just a TV show!

 


You Might Be From Colorado Jokes and 303 LOLs
Are you up for Colorado factoid jokes, mountainous puns, and Coloradan humor? Locals Are!

Colorado Native Jokes, Denver Humor, High Puns
(Because High Country Jokes and Rocky Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're Really From Colorado!)
Warning: Weather Colorado Country with Caution! Cold jokes, icy LOLs, biting humor and sunny puns ahead.
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Colorado Come-Ons |
| Colorado Cuisine Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Denver Dog Puns | Rocky Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns |
| Colorado Jokes | Denver Jokes | 2 | 3 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes |

You might be from Colrado if homemade salsa is the base of your food pyramid!You might be from Colorado if you know what the Continental Divide is!You might be from Colorado if north means mountains to the left, south means mountains to the right, and east and west are where all those liberals keep coming from!

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in the salsa.
Waiter at Casa Bonita: Oh, don't worry. The spider in your taco will get him.

Q. How do Colorado green chile chefs live their lives?
A. They season the day.

Q. What do you call it when a Colorado pothead inadvertantly eats all the chips?
A. A Snaccident.

Q. What did the Colorado chef say when questioned about his jokes?
A. My puns are corny as taco shells!

Q. What does a Colorado native call it when Fido gets into the dessert at Denver's Watering Bowl tavern and dog park?
A. Pudding on the dog.

Two blondes were on a road trip to Denver. The sign said, "Denver Left," so they started crying and went back home to Aurora.

Q. Why do chickens like these Colorado native jokes?
A. Because they're so clucking funny!

You might be exercising outdoors in Colorado if high gusts are bothering you. And, you might be in Boulder if uninvited guests bother you. You might be outside a pot shop, if nothing bothers you.

Q. What do Colorado natives call a vacation home on the best trout fishing stream in Grand County?
A. Reel estate.

Q. Why was the lamb arrested on I70?
A. Because she pulled a ewe turn.

Mile High Locals Tip of the Day: Running up a steep Colorado hillside can be great exercise, if you are so inclined.

Q. Which kind of jacket do natives wear when hiking in the Colorado Rockies?
A. A trail blazer.

Q. How do Metro Denver chickens get off the highway?
A. They take the eggs-it.

Q. What do residents of Ft. Collins, Colorado call a drug addict loon at Horsetooth Reservoir?
A. A quack head.

Q. Why did the Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep fall of the cliff?
A. He didn't see the ewe turn!

You might be from Colorado if you say "The Interstate" and everybody know which one!You might be from Colorado if an avalancheis coming and you're wearing Broncos blinders!Ape chef says: You might be from Colorado if you fire up the grill after shoveling a foot of snow off the deck!

Q. How many Colorado transplants does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to hold the bulb, and four to ask for directions.

I70 Point to Ponder: With the rise of self-driving vehicles, isn't it just a matter of time before we hear a country song where the guy's truck leaves him, too?

Q. How can natives tell that a primo Colorado mountain lake has become very popular with tourists and local anglers?
A. Because the parking lot has fishing lines.

Q. Why was the skier from Summit County rushed to the ER?
A. He hurt his ski bum.

Q. Why did the novice skier expect the worst after he got to the top of the slope?
A. It's only downhill from there...

Q. What steps should you take if you see a mountain lion while hiking on Pike's Peak?
A. Very large ones.

Q. How do Colorado natives describe a camping trip to Rocky Mountain National Park?
A. In tents!

Q. How do natives describe the hiker who always climbed to the summit of Pike's Peak on her birthday?
A. Getting up there in years.

Red Hot Colorado Cookout Lovers Humor: Brought a new grill home last night. She's a real gas and she's really hot, especially after you turn her on!

Q. What is a Colorado native's favorite backyard BBQ steak pun?
A. A medium where anything well done is rare!

Colorado Native Backyard BBQ Pick-Up Line: You're my grill and I'm your broil.

Q. Who's haunting the KFC across the street from Littleton cemetery?
A. Some local comedian at Cmedy Words spoofing Colonel Sanders said it was a poultry-geist.

You might be from Colorado if you grew up planning your Halloween costume around your parka!Wookie says: You might be from Colorado if you shave your leg and wear a skirt because the weather forecast is 60!You might from Colorado if you will not touch Rocky Mountain Oysters, not even with a ten foot pole!

You might be from Colorado if you expect snow on Easter, Mother's Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving – but not on Christmas!

Tasty Colorado Point to Ponder: If it's chili inside, should you turnip the heat?

Q. What does a shady Colorado cloud wear under its raincoat?
A. Thunderwear!

Q. What happened to the Cowlorado cow that was lifted into a tornado?
A. Udder disaster.

Q. What do you call a haunted house in Denver with a ghost who can't make the mortgage payments?
A. Repossessed.

Q. If the Colorado Symphony is performing at Redrocks Amphitheatre during a sudden thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
A. The Conductor!

Q. What does a Colorado Rocky Mountain wear when it gets cold?
A. An ice cap.

Q. To a Colorado weather prognosticator, what is the opposite of a cold front?
A. A warm back.

Q. How are a Colorado weatherman and a ski area hooker alike?
A. Both can only estimate how many inches they'll get, or how long it will last.

Q. After a night of camping in eastern Colorado, what did the Lone Ranger say when he woke to see his tent had blown away by a tornado?
A. Tonto, we're not in canvas anymore!

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do bullies with a bad temper drink?
A. Hop-Blooded Ale.

Q. What do you get from a Denver cowmedian at Comedy Works Downtown?
A. Cream of Wit and lots of bullcrap.

Q. Why did the space alien go to the doctor after eating hot roasted chiles along Sante Fe Drive in Denver?
A. 'Cause he was feelin' a little green.

Bigfoot says: You might be from Colorado if you've met the current hide and seek champion!You might be from Colorado if you know where Bongmont is and can find it without GPS!You might be from Colorado if you just laugh when folks back east say they have mountains in their state, too!

According to a recent poll, 91% of Coloradans are satisfied with their lives. Apparently, the other 9% can't remember where the nearest pot shop is?

Q. Why won't you ever catch sight of a sasquatch on Lookout Mountain?
A. Jeffco Sheriff's Office is looking into that.

Q. Where is the best place for searching for Bigfoot in Colorado?
A. The Sawatch Range.

Q. What gift would a local Colorado plumber appreciate on his birthday?
A. A pipe cleaner.

Did you hear about the guy in Colorado who wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable? He said it's an ingenious way to get Americans to stop using edibles!

Colorado Tourism Slogan: Weed like to welcome you.

Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, you're so hot that I don't even need a lighter!

Classic Colorado 420-ism: Can I be blunt?

Colorado Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, weed be cute together.

Q. What do hungry Colorado brown bears call campers in sleeping bags?
A. Soft Tacos!

Colorado Local Tip of the Day: The difference between hill and hell is just a fine line.

Two cops in a squad car crash into a tree outside Woodland Park, Colorado. One turns to the other and says, "Wow, this is the fastest we've ever gotten to the scene of the accident."

Colorado Native Wisdom: Getting to the top of the mountain is great fun, but it's all downhill from there.

| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Nightlife Laughs | Denver Dog Jokes | Rocky Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Cowlorado Puns |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Humor | Weed Jokes | Munchies |
| Colorado Weather Jokes | Cool Weather Humor | 2 | Cold Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |

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