Green alien says: Space aliens are Broncos fans because Denver is a mile cloer to home!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Which Denver suburb do pirates prefer? A. Arrrvada!
Wookie says: You might be from Colorado if you shave your leg and wear a skirt because the weather forecast is 60!

You might be from Colorado if you feel slighted if your dog doesn't get a treat at your bank's drive thru!

 


Denver Colorado Jokes, LoDo Laughs, Denver Puns
Tour funny Mile High City jokes, hopped up Denver puns, and Lower Downtown humor.

Downtown Denver Jokes and Mile High Humor
(Because Mile High Jokes and High Altitude Laughs Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Metro Denver, Colorado!)
Warning: Visit at Your Own Risk! Lower Downtown humor, Denver suburb jokes, metro puns and LoDo LOLs ahead.
| Denver Jokes | 2 | 3 | Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Mile High Club Jokes | Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Rocky Wildlife Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Colorado Weather | Colorado Come-Ons |

You might be from Colorado if you met this guy at a LoDo bar last weekend!You might be from Denver if your sense of direction is toward the mountains and away from the mountains!Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Hey, I'm not getting paid for these tourism ads!

Q. What is an annual unoffical beer drinking holiday in Denver?
A. Hop-toberfest.

Q. Which Denver craft beer is the fave on E Colfax?
A. Hoppy Ending.

Q. How did the hipster tourist burn his tongue at Denver's Club 404?
A. He ate a burrito before it was cool.

Q. How did Denver television news report the ruckus at the LoDo Denver Starbucks?
A. As a Serious Brew-ha-ha.

LoDo Hipster Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you from the Denver area? 'Cause I only date locally-sourced babes.

Two blondes were on a road trip to Denver. The sign said, "Denver Left," so they started crying and went home.

There's a rumor that the Denver Mint stopped making coins. Fake News! 'Cause that just doesn't make cents!

Urban Poultry Point to Ponder: If you have backyard chickens in Denver, and take care of them, are you a chicken tender?

Q. What did the dyslexic beer drinker order at the LoDo Denver craft beer pub?
A. A Large.

Q. Why did Denver's A Line light rail construction fall behind schedule?
A. Because they needed to get back on track.

If you live in Denver, you don't have to get high. But, you do have to stay high.

Q. Why wasn't the new traffic signal installed on Speer Boulevard and Lincoln yet?
A. They were waiting for Denver city officials to give it the green light.

Denver LoDo Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, I blaze on the first date!

Mile High Pick-Up Line: Hey there hottie, don't be shy, let's get high.

Q. What does an eyeball call Denver, Colorado?
A. The Mile Eye City.

Denver Pick-Up Line: Weed be cute together.

Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. 5280 Pot Shops!You might be from Denver if you listen to KtCL and know Nerf isn't just a toy!You might be from Colorado if you missed this exhibit at the Denver Zoo!

You might be exercising outdoors in Colorado if high gusts are bothering you. You might be in Boulder if uninvited guests bother you. And, you might be outside a Denver pot shop, if nothing bothers you.

Q. What things does a werewolf want to do in Denver when you're dead?
A. Stay at the Howliday Inn Tech Center.

Q. What do you get if you cross a witch and a Halloween blizzard in Denver?
A. A cold spell!

Q. When do werewolf gardeners have a shootout at the Denver County fair?
A. At high moon!

Downtown Denver Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, let's make like a blunt and roll.

Q. Why is Denver such a happy city?
A. Because of all the hop-timistic beer drinkers.

Q. If a band is playing at Redrocks during a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
A. The conductor.

Q. What do Denverites call A Line Light Rail that just doesn't work?
A. Play Station.

Q. What's the difference between US Congress and the Denver Mint?
A. Only one of them makes cents.

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. The psychic on Main St. believes it's a poultry-guess.

Q. If the Denver Zoo opened a brew pub, which beer would they serve?
A. Hungry Hungry Hoppos.

Q. Which exibit do locksmiths always visit at the Denver Zoo?
A. The monkey house.

Q. Which craft beer is a Denver basketball fan favorite?
A. Nugget Hoppy Meal.

A nonrenewable energy source walks into a bar on Denver's 16th Street Mall. Bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You've been getting wasted all day!"

Q. Why should you visit the US Mint in Denver?
A. It just makes cents!

You might be from Colorado if this guy was your last Uber driver!You might be from Denver if you can remember woodsies at Daniel's Park!You might be from Colorado if you'll always call it Mile Hight Stadium no matter what lame logo is on it!

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do van-driving retro guys in Morrison drink?
A. Brown Eyed Ale.

Q. How do Metro Denver chickens get off the highway?
A. They take the eggs-it.

Q. What do you say after a pig takes off from Denver International Airport?
A. Swine Flu!

Q. What did the cow tourist order at Starbucks in Downtown Denver?
A. A half-calf-double-latte.

Q. What is the tallest building in downtown Denver?
A. Denver Central Library has the most stories.

Q. Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot up at Winter Park?
A. 'Cause Denver Channel 7's Mike Nelson said there was a 50% chance of snow.

Q. Which spirited drinking game was first played at the Campus Lounge in Denver?
A. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Q. What do crafty Denverites call a group of young kids dressed like ghosts for Halloween?
A. A micro-boo-ery.

The Denver Post News of the Day: Did you hear about the guy who lost his glasses at the LoDo Denver brew pub? The rest of the evening was a total blur.

Q. What do beer-loving Denver Broncos fans chant at the game?
A. Who let the dog stout?

Q. Why are pigs such great Denver Broncos football fans?
A. Because they're always rooting.

Q. Why did they stop doing the WAVE at the Denver Broncos Stadium?
A. Too many blonde fans were drowning.

Q. Do the Walking Dead play NFL football?
A. They do! They play offense 'cause that's something to do in Denver when your're dead.

Q. Which NFL football team do horses, mules, burros and donkeys always root for?
A. The Denver Broncos.

You might be from Denver if you remember Jake Jabs playing the guitar at Evo's Time Out bar in Littleton!You might be from Colorado if your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the crap out of the Raiders.You might be from Colorado if north means mountains to the left, south means mountains to the right, and east and west are where all those liberals keep coming from!

Q. Why did Jakes Jabs' mattress go see a doctor during the March Madness Sale?
A. Because it had Spring Fever.

Q. What do you get from a Denver cowmedian at Comedy Works Downtown?
A. Cream of Wit and lots of bullcrap.

Q. Why do Denver area locksmiths enjoy Painful Puns so much?
A. Because the jokes are so f-key-ing funny!

Q. What to you call flying solo in the Mile High Club?
A. Cloud Seeding!

Q. What's the main problem with Denver Police jokes?
A. The cops don't think they're funny, and private citizens are afraid to laugh at them!

Did you know Bigfoot works as a cop in Denver? Of course not, he's undercover!

I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS. THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN DENVER.

Did you hear about the Mile High cannabis job fair? Over 70,000 stoners meant to attend. (If they had held the fair at the Broncos' stadium, it would've been a sell out!)

Q. Which NFL Super Bowl matchup caused the most arguing on the ranch outside Denver?
A. Cowboys vs Broncos.

Q. Where do many true blue (and orange) Denver Broncos fans live?
A. Mane Street in Downtown Littleton.

Q. What do the cops say when they arrive during your Denver Broncos party?
A. Dish is the Police!

I accidentally left two Rockies tickets on my car's dash, with the windows open. When I got back, there were two more!

Q. Why can't basketball players, other than the Denver Nuggets, vacation in Colorado?
A. Because they'd get called for traveling.

You might be from Denver if you expect snow on Easter, Mother's Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving – but not on Christmas.

Q. What is today's Denver weather forecast?
A. Chili today, hot tamale.

Q. Why didn't the stallion show up to his Denver Broncos-themed wedding?
A. He got colt feet.

Q. What is the definition of a terminal Rocky Mountain illness?
A. When you get sick at Denver International Airport.

Q. Which scientific and cultural facility do Bigfoots avoid in Colorado?
A. The Denver Zoo.

Q. What should you never say if you get pulled over by the Denver Police on 13th Avenue?
A. Are you the guy from the Village People?

Denver Diner: Will my pizza be long?
Pizza Guy: No sir, it will be round.

| Denver Jokes | 2 | 3 | Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Mile High Club Jokes | Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Rocky Wildlife Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Puns | Weed Jokes | Munchies |
| Colorado Weather Jokes | Cool Weather Humor | 2 | Cold Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |

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