Old Most Interesting Man in the Word says: I put a Denver Broncos jersey on my airplane. Now it can't touch down!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Bear says: You might be from Colorado if you always dress in lairs!
Q. Why do Denver Broncos jokes keep getting dumber and dumber? A. Because ya just can't win 'em all!
You might be from Colorado if you've seen this guy skiing on Peak Nine!
Big Ape Asks: What do a bad football team & a pothead have in common? A. Both get blitzed!
You might be from Colorado if your bridal registry is at REI!

 


Colorado Jokes, Mountain Locals Humor, Peak Puns
Are you UP for High Country humor, hill-arious puns, and Colorado back country jokes?

Colorful Coloradan Humor & High Country Jokes
(Because Mountain Man Jokes and High Country Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Colorado!)
Warning: Stay-Cation with Caution! High mountain puns, wild local humor, and Colorado insider jokes ahead.
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Rocky Wildlife Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Weather | Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |

You might be from Colorado if you describe eye-catching mesas as butte beauts!Alien says: You might be from Colorado if you believe in going green!You might be from Colordo if you actually know South Park is a real place and not just a TV show!

Did you hear the story about the Colorado mountain? I just couldn't get over it!

Q. How did the Colorado 14-er know the foothill was lying?
A. Because it was only a bluff.

A novice camper went out trying to buy a camouflage tent in Colorado, but he couldn't find any.

Q. In Colorado, what do you call a black bruin who has lost all his teeth?
A. A Gummy Bear!

Colorado Skier Pick-Up Line: Hey, girl. Wanna get up-lifted?

Q. Why did the hipster leave his Aspen mansion by the Roaring Fork River?
A. It was too current.

Q. What is a Colorado spaced alien's idea of a balanced diet?
A. A joint in each hand.

Colorado Locksmith Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, wanna see my kilo and get low-key?

Q. How do Colorado evergreens access the Internet?
A. They log in!

Classic Colorado Pick-Up Line: Hey, want to go get cough-ee some time?

Colorado Cannabis Factoid: Nudists hate barely legal weed jokes!

Green Colorado Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, let's meet up at 4:20!

You might be a Colorado native if you can drive to South Park without using GPS or any alien assistance.

Q. Whay are Bigfoot sightings so rare in South Park, Colorado?
A. Because the aliens erase your memory there.

Black Widow: I keep telling people that I'm a spider.
South Park Shrink: What a web of lies!

Q. Why did the Colorado State Patrol recruit the South Park cow?
A. Because she was a natural at udder cover work.

Q. What is a South Park cow's favorite soft drink?
A. Mountain Moo.

Q. Why do Canada geese fly upside down over the Broncos' stadium? A. There's nothing worth crappon on! GO Broncos!Colorado Wisdom: If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes, and take cover in the lowest spot during a thunder storm!You might be from Colorado if you go Squatching!

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe in the parking lot at the stadium at Mile High field?
A. A defensive end is playing barefoot.

Wanna hear a crappy Denver Broncos joke?
(Sorry, fellow Bronco fans – that isn't funny at all.)

Q. What do Denverites call A Line Light Rail that just doesn't work?
A. Play Station.

Q. After working with horse crap all day, how does a Broncos coach clean his hands?
A. He gets a manure-cure.

Q. What's the difference between a vampire with a toothache and a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. One roars in pain, and the other pours in rain.

Q. What is the Colorado weather forecast?
A. Chili today, hot tamale.

Q. How can you tell it's too hot in your urban Denver henhouse during August?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Q. Where do Colorado meteorologists stop on their way home after a busy weather day at work?
A. The Isobar.

Q. How do you know it's a privaledge to live in Colorado?
A. Bigfoot rarely makes an appearance, yeti showed up in Colorado to joke around here at Painful Puns!

Q. Where is the best place for searching for Bigfoot in Colorado?
A. The Sawatch Range.

Q. Why do Bigfoots in Colorado like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're killer comedians.

Q. How do you make a Cripple Creek squatch laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke.

Q. What do you call a funny mountain? A. Hillarious!Go Dwnver! It's time for a Win-ny!Denver asks: What steps should you take if you think you've seen sasquatch? A. Very large ones!

You might be in Colorado if high gusts are bothering you, but you might be in Estes Park if uninvited guests bother you.

Q. How do you define pathological if you're hiking near Steamboat Springs?
A. A reasonable way to go...

Colorado Mountain Pick-Up Line: High Baby, are you into Alt Rock?

Q. Why does Humpty Dumpty prefer camping in Colorado during autumn?
A. Because he has a great fall!

Q. How can you tell that a Colorado mountain lake has become very popular with local anglers and tourists?
A. Because the parking lot had fishing lines.

Q. What do you call a Denver lineman's kid?
A. A chip off the old Bronc.

Q. Where do many Denver Broncos fans live?
A. Mane Street in Downtown Littleton.

Q. Where do Colorado Bigfoots and the Denver Nuggets shop for stylish men's clothing?
A. Kaufman's Big and Tall in Englewood.

Q. What do you call the Colorado chicken that crossed Parker Road trying to escape to Kansas?
A. Suicidal!

Q. Why did the smart rainbow trout in The Roaring Fork River ignore the fisherman's fly?
A. He didn't want to be a fish out of water.

Q. Why does Pike's Peak Bigfoot prefer being referred to as Sasquatch?
A. Because his big squatch is more remarkable than his big foot is!

Q. Who gives a young Teller County sasquatch money for his teeth?
A. The Tooth Hairy!

My suitcase started to cry when I picked it up off the baggage carousel at DIA. I guess I'm carrying emotional baggage.

Q. What is the most insane new Denver craft beer?
A. One Brew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

FYI: Pike's Peak Squatch hasn't seen you, either!

Alien Abduction: Can I be blunt? Join us for a hghly recommended laugh!You might be from Denver if you think of Tom Shane as a local folk hero!Trippy blue and orange art says: Go Broncos! We're behind you, wherever that is?

Q. In Colorado, what is the difference between low-key and kilo to a locksmith?
A. Dude, seriously?

Colorado Spaced Alien Point to Ponder: Is a human standing on a toilet high on pot?

Q. What do Coloradans call a horny spaced alien?
A. A Weed Whacker!

Q. Why was the lid arrested?
A. It wasn't in Colorado.

Blue Spruce: I feel like a needle.
Psychiatrist in Evergreen: Yes, eye do see your point.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his glasses at the LoDo Denver brew pub? The rest of the evening was a total blur.

Q. What did the Colorado eye doctor say when questioned about his jokes?
A. My puns are corneas taco shells!

Blonde: My son came here to Denver on his summer vacation.
Friend: Did you meet him at DIA?
Blonde: No, I've known him his whole life.

Q. Why did Jakes Jabs' mattress go see a doctor during the March Madness Sale?
A. Because it had Spring Fever.

Q. What is it called when you finally arrive at the gates of Denver's Elitch Gardens Theme and Water Park?
A. Entranced.

Q. What did the optometrist need for sightseeing in the Colorado Rockies?
A. An eye-tinerary.

Q. Why did the near-sighted guy fall into Idaho Springs?
A. Because he didn't see that well!

Q. What happened to the Colorado brew pub patron who fell into a barrel of beer?
A. He came to a very bitter end.

| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |

| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Deer Puns | Horse Jokes |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Humor | Weed Jokes | Munchies |
| Colorado Weather Jokes | Cool Weather Humor | 2 | Cold Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons
|
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