Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all. - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Fitness Jokes, Diet Puns & Shapely Humor
Get a workout with fitness memes, diet humor, and fittingly funny jokes!

Workout Puns, Gym Jokes, Diet Riddles
(Because our "Laugh Your Way to Fit" approach is just NOT Mainstream)
Warning: Keep a straight face when you ask your doctor about the Laughing Out Loud Diet.
Diet Joke: Q. When should you go on a cheese diet? A. When you need to cheddar few pounds.Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.Diet Joke: Becoming a Vegetarian is a Big Missed Steak.

Q. What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet?
A. A desserter.

Q. How do some people curb their appetite?
A. At the drive thru window.

Q. What do crazed vegan zombies eat?
A. GgggRrrAaaaIiiiNNnnSss!

How do spacemen add more protien to their diet? They make it meteor. A Successful Diet Is: The Triumph of Mind Over Platter.Gym Joke: Gnome body builders are not ab-gnormal!

Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.

Dieting is not a piece of cake.

Gluten, putting the die back into diet.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bodybuilder with a Peeping Tom?
A. Amazing Peeks.

Diet Pun: A Lot of Dieting Is Wishful ShrinkingFitness Meme: Hey Buddy, just remember mermaids don't have thigh gaps either!They served lunch at the auto repair shop, but I didn't eat it because it was full of carbs.

Unhealthy: What thin people call you when you are fat, and fat people call you when you are thin...

Q. What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A. A beer in each hand.

Q. Why should you go to the paint store if your on a diet?
A. You can get thinner there.

Diet Pun: People Don't Like Food Going To Waist.Gym Pick-Up Line: Is your body from McDonald's? 'Cause I'm Lovin' It!Diet Humor: You don't gain weight by the minute at the dinner table, but by the seconds.

If your dog is too fat, then you're not getting enough exercise?

Q. Why did the bodybuilder go to the hospital?
A. Somebody told him he was cut!

The best reducing exercise is to shake the head violently from side to side when offered a second helping.

Fitness Humor: Elfin Gyms Got Gnome Wiggle Room! Gym Humor: Gnome Sweat Produces Pherognomes!Diet Meme: Gnome problem is too big, so he joined Weight Watchers.

Q. Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A. Somebody told him he was ripped!

Q. Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A. Because he was squatting!

Why shouldn't you worry about gaining a few extra pounds? Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Gym Pick-Up Line: If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?Workout Humor: Gnome Pain, Gnome Gain! Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.

Q. What exercises do hairdressers do at the gym?
A. Curls

I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he's trying to "Diet Hard."

Eve: The only woman ever really tempted by an apple.

Who says I've got no will power? I'll get that pecan pie, if it's the last thing I do...

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