What thin people call you when you are fat, and fat people
call you when you are thin...
What is the Cottage Cheese Diet?
A. You just eat your curds and weigh.
What do you get if you put the correct amount of protein,
veggies, and carbs on a scale?
A. A balanced diet.
What do chickens work on at the gym?
A. Their pecks!
Wisecrack: Somebody call the Coroner! I just killed my workout!
What is the secret to writing successful diet books?
A. You have to have broad appeal to a very wide audience.
Wisecrack: I wish the gym had a stationary bike built for
How did the wimpy personal trainer quit his job at the gym?
A. He handed in his too-weak notice.
What do you call it when you blow your diet by eating a
whole bag of Doritos?
A. A Snaccident!
Why doesn't the Pizza Diet work?
A. 'Cause you be tryin' fitness in yo mouth.
Wisdom of the Day: If you want to gain weight, get pizza
to-go. If you're trying to lose weight, get your
pizza to go away.
chameleons walk into a gym. First one says, "Spot me,
bro." His bud replies, "Who said that?"