Q. What happened when the two webmasters met?
A. It was love at first site!

Q. Why did the confirmed bachelor wear a gasmask during the spring?
A. He heard love was in the air.

Q. What is the most romantic city in Englan?
A. Loverpool.

Q. Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?
A. When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position; when he found the position, he couldn't muster the momentum.

Q. How dod a dog express his affection?
A. He says, "I love you drooly!"

Q. What did the TicTac say to the Certs?
A. We are mint to be together.

Q. What is called when a beau keeps walking around his lady reciting odes to her?
A. Poetry in Motion.

Q. Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A. Because he'll dessert you!

Q. What did Mt. Vesuvius say to his hot girlfriend, Mt. Etna?
A. I lava you very much.

Love At First Bite: The happy chef couple met at cooking class. It got really hot when boil meets grill!

Q. What did the zombie say to his date?
A. I love a woman with brains!

Q. Why did the blonde fan love Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty and Sulu so much?
A. 'Cause she had a one-Trek mind.

Q. Why did bread break up with margarine?
A. For a butter lover.

Pizza is the only love triangle I'm interested in.

Red Hot Steak Lovers Humor: Brought a new grill home last night. She's a real gas and she's really hot, especially after you turn her on!

Q. Why did the safe cracker love the locksmith?
A. Because he held the key to her heart.

Q. What did the loving caveman give his wife on their anniversary?
A. Lots of ughs and kisses.

Q. What happens when two hamburgers fall in love?
A. They live together in holy meatrimony!

Q. How did the vampire fall in love with his wife?
A. It was love at first bite!

Q. What do you get with a corduroy condom?
A. A Groovy Kind of Love.

Q. Why do Klingons love Tribbles?
A. Tribbles make great earmuffs and cranial ridge warmers.

Anti VD Day Point to Ponder: Is LOVE the seventh sense, the one that destroys the legit six senses?

Q. Why do the ladies love baseball?
A. Because diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Q. What do you call a two lovebirds on a cyber date?
A. Tweet Hearts.

Q. What happened when the vampire in love turned into a poet?
A. He went from bat to verse.

Q. What did the lamp say to the light bulb when they got together?
A. Screw me again! I love you a watt.

Q. What happened to the near-sighted porcupine?
A. He fell in love with a pin cushion.

Q. Why do the ladies call the pro The Love Machine?
A. Because he's terrible at tennis.

Q. Why did the guy tennis player break up with his tennis player girlfriend?
A. Because they had very different definitions of LOVE.

Tennis Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the horny tennis player that didn't score? Yeah, but he still made love.

Did you hear about the two tennis players who met on the court? It was lob at first sight!

Q. Why is there such a high divorce rate among tennis players?
A. 'Cause love means zip to them.

Q. Why did the cheating husband add his secret lover to his phone contacts as "LOW BATTERY?"
A. If she calls, his wife just plugs the phone into its charger.

Q. How is a beard like true love?
A. It never ends; it only grows!

Did you hear about the snake love letter? It was sealed with a hiss.

Q. What do you call romance in a fish tank?
A. They Call It Guppy Love.

Q. What did a rabbit say to his girlfriend?
A. Some bunny loves you!

Q. Why do the ladies love baseball?
A. Because diamonds are a girl's best friend!

Q. How can you tell a window loves baseball?
A. It just falls to pieces when they meet.

Q. Which great baseball player loved fireplaces?
A. Mickey Mantle.

Q. What did the elephant say to his lady friend?
A. I love you a ton!

Workout Wisecrack: I love doing crunches: Doritos, popcorn, pretzels...

Q. What happens when two butchers fall in love?
A. They live together in holy meatrimony!

Gym Pick-Up Line: Do you believe in love at first set? Or, should I curl this barbell another 10 times?

Q. Why did the hot blonde fall in love with the French chef?
A. He buttered her up.

Q. How do pigs greet their loved ones?
A. With hogs and kisses.

Q. Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill?
A. The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.

Boxing Pick-Up Line: Are you a boxer? 'Cause I think I'm in glove with you.

Q. Why do skunks love Valentine's Day?
A. Because they're scent-timental!

Q. Why should you never open your heart to a cardiac surgeon?
A. Let them do it. It's their job!

Q. What did the skeleton give his lady love on Valentine's Day?
A. Bone-bones in a heart-shaped box.

Q. What did the skeleton say to his ghoul friend on Halloween?
A. I love every bone in your body!

Q. How did the vampire die of a broken heart?
A. He loved in vein.

Q. What happens if a doctor steals your heart?
A. He gets cardiac arrested.

Q. What do you get if you cross a laptop and a vampire?
A. Love at first byte.

Q. How does a werewolf sign his love letters?
A. Best Vicious!

Q. What is it called when a witch only casts love spells that rhyme?
A. Poetry in Potion.

Q. Why did the blonde think her optometrist was in love with her?
A. Because when she leaves the office, he hands her a bottle of contact solution saying, "Eye care for you."

Q. Why do skeletons have low self esteem?
A. They have no body to love.

Q. What does a French skeleton call his lover?
A. Bone Ami.

Q. What did the bruin say to his best girl?
A. I love you beary much.

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