Wine Lover's Humor: Love the Wine You're With!   PainfulPuns.com - Cheesy Pick Up Line, Sharp Come-Ons, Punny!

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What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fun-Gi
Pirate walks into a bar. Bartender: "Did you know there's a steering wheel in your pants?" Pirate: "Arrr and it's driving ne crazy!"
Martini says: I was drinking at the bar, so I thook the bus home. Problem is, I've never driven a bus before!

Fish says: Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day!
Pitcher of beer asks: How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of just one!
Chimp asks: Where does a monkey go to grab a beer? A. The monkey bars!

 


Bar Pick-Up Lines, Pub Chat Ups, Brewed Flirts
Cheers to fermented flirts, impaired hit ups, tipsy chat ups and inebriated come-on jokes!

Happy Hour Pick-Up Lines and Drunken Come-Ons
(Because Bar Chat Up Lines Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're Past the Legal Limit of Cheesy Dates!)
Warning: Pick Up a Bar Fly at Your Own Risk! 'Cause ya never know who or what you might come-on down with!
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Chimp says: Love has four letters, but then again, so does beer!Bottle of whiskey asks: What do a shot of Everclear & a sexy woman have in common? A. Both make men talk nonsense!A tattooed barmaid limerick

Brew Pub Pick Up Line: Girl, this isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for my love machine.

Classic Bar Come-On: Just Brew It!

Bar Hookup Line: Hey dude, I noticed you have a round of tequila. Does that mean you'll give me a shot tonight?

Brew Pub Come-On Line: Hey Bae, don't you just hate it when guys try to use cheesy pick-ups on you?

Happy Hour Pick Up Line: Wow babe, you're just like this jalapeno popper – you just keep getting hotter and hotter!

An alien walks into a bar hoping to meet someone out of this world... (because aliens don't need cheesy come-ons)

Distillery Pick Up Line: Hey girl, some people say I'm a barrel of laughs.

Bar Pick Up Line: Sure babe, that whiskey you're drinking is from Tennessee, but you're the only 10 I see!

Bar Hookup Line: Hey girl, are you a glass of fine whiskey? 'Cause you're smooth, have a certain glow, and I'll be pounding you before midnight.

Bartender Point to Ponder: Do you get The Holy Spirit if you mix holy water and vodka together?

Bar Chat Up Line: Hey babe, I wish I was a glass of Jack Daniels so you'd hold me in your hands and nurse me all night long.

Lady's Night Mantra: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!

Vine Pick Up Line Hey there, I must have had too much wine, 'cause when you walked into the room, my world started to spin.

Wine Connoisseur Chat Up Line: Like a fine bottle of wine, I'd like nothing better than to lay you down sideways.

Wine drinkers make grape lovers!

She: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." He: "Is that you talking, or the wine?" She: It's me, talking to the wine!"

Wine Lover's Hit Up Line: Hey girl, do you like wine? 'Cause all the antioxidants are doing your body good.

Breath-taking wine humorChimp asks: How are men like coolers? A. Load thm with beer, and you can take them anywhere!Drinking riddle: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A. They're both empty from the neck up!

If you can't be with the one you love, why not just love the wine your with?

Wine Lover Pick Up Line: Hey babe, if only I was that glass of wine you are drinking, I'd already be insided you.

Wine Lover's Hangover Words of Wisdom: Forgive me, for I have zinned!

Wine Lovers Come-On Line: Girl, if I got a taste of you, I'd roll my tongue around in you for hours.

Wine Lovers Line: Baby, the smoothest way to taste this wine is straight from my lips.

Fine Wine Pick Up Line: Hey there Red, I'd like nothing more than to lay you sideways.

Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, you are as intoxicating as fortified wine!

Deja Brew: Haven't we been to this pub before?

Happy Hour Chat Up Line: Hey bae, I am a man who plans for the future, and that's why I've got a pony keg just waiting to be tapped at home.

Bar Hookup Line: Hey babe, do you like rock 'n roll? 'Cause I'd like to rock your world tonight.

Bar Chat Up Line: Naw, this isn't a beer belly; it's just the fuel tank for my love machine.

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey baby, I play the field, but it looks like I hit a home run with you!

Pick Up a Bartender Line: Hey babe, can you shake that booty just like you shake that drink?

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey girl, all the bottles in this club must be jealous 'cause your beauty is the most intoxicating thing here tonight.

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey babe, I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by your beauty.

He was in a pub when he proposed. It was very romantic – he got up on one knee.

Bar Come-On: Hey girl, was your daddy an alien? 'Cause there's no one else like you on this planet!

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey baby, my drink is getting lonely. Care to join us?

Pick Up a Bartender Line: Hey babe, here's a tip for you, you should go out with me!

Drunken Pick Up Line: Hey baby, draw me a map on this cocktail napkin, 'cause I just got lost in your eyes.

Chimp says: Beer is my worst enemy, but the Bible says to love your enemy!Women's Wine Joke: What's the difference between a glass of wine and a man? A glass of wine hits the spot every time!Guy: I love you so much. I could never live without you. Girl: Is tha you or the beer talking? Guy: It's me talking to the beer.

Bar Chat Up Line: Hey hottie, are you a frozen Margarita? 'Cause that would explain my brain freeze when you walked by.

Post Happy Hour Come-On: Hey baby, wadda you say I buy the booze and you show me how to shake it?

An angel walks into a bar hoping to meet someone heavenly.

Honest Bar Come-On: Hey baby, how 'bout I buy you a drink and we both tell each other lies?

Pick Up a Bar Fly Line: Hey dude, in medieval times, your beer belly would have been considered a sign of prosperity and status.

Bar Chat Up Line: Hey Lass, my scotch on the rocks is jealous 'cause you are the most intoxicating thing in this pub.

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey Bae, I'm new in town, so I need the directions to your place.

Vino Come-On Line: Hey babe, wanna help me bottle some wine this weekend? I'll let you do the corking.

Wine Lovers Pick Up Line: Hey girl, I guarantee I'll last longer than a fine bottle of Merlot.

I told my wife that a man is like fine wine; husbands get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.

Wine Lovers Chat Up Line: Hey babe, if I poured you a glass, I'd use my finest stemware.

Pre Happy Hour Hookup Line: Hey girl, Can I ask you a personal question? Beer, or Wine?

Bar Reverse Psychology Pick Up Line: Hey girl, are you a wine connoisseur? 'Cause if you're not wining about, you're whining about something else...

Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey there Red, would you like to plant a vineyard on me?

Brew Pub Pick Up Line: Girl, you owe me a beer 'cause I spilled mine when you walked by.

Beer Lover's Come-On: I'll be Bock!

Bar Pick Up Point to Ponder: Do men make passes at girls who drain glasses?

Bar Chat Up Line: No, I'm not drunk. But, I am intoxicated by you!

Happy Hour Pick Up Line: Hey girl, are you tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Friday Night Bar Pick Up Line: No babe, I am not drunk. But, I am intoxicated by you!

Bar Come-On Line: Babe, I'm just trying to drink here, but you are very distracting tonight.

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey girl, are you busy tonight at last call?

Drinking Joke: She Was Only a Whiskey Maker, But He Loved Her Still.Bar riddle: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A. A beer in each hand!Wine Joke: Have you seen the new sitcom about runk women It's called "Whose Wine Is It Anyway?"

Bar Chat Up Line: That double Wild Turkey I just bought you should be enough proof of my feelings for you.

Bartender Pick Up Line: Hey babe, is your name Toddy? 'Cause you sure are hot.

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy ... so I got drunk.

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey girl, are you a descendant of the queen? 'Cause you have Royal Crown written all over you.

Bartender Pick Up Line: Hey baby, how do you keep that ice from melting when you are that hot?

Summer Happy Hour Come-On: Hey babe, is it hot in here? Or, is that just you?

Bar Hookup Line: Hey girl, you are the special lady I've been saving this stool for.

Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I'd like to go inside your cellar and pull me out a stiff one!

Brew Pub Come-On: Girl, I would buy you a draft, but I'd be jealous of the glass.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer is always easy to pick up.

Bar Pick Up Line: Hey girl, I seem to have lost my phone number, so I was wondering if I could have yours...

Bar Chat Up Line: Hey there, do you hate singles' bars? 'Cause so do I. See we already have one thing in common.

Drunken Closing Time Pick Up Line: Wow girl, are you that beautiful? Or, am I drunk?

Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I've heard drinking wine makes me look sexy, so have another bottle.

Bartender Pick Up Line: Hey baby, how about you make me a good strong cocktail, easy on the tail?

Closing Time Hookup Line: Hey girl, that dress looks really great on you. But, it'd look even better on the foot of my bed.

Pick Up a Wine Lover Line: Hey girl, how about I serve you a champagne cocktail in bed tomorrow morning?

How Merlot can you go?

Wine Pick Up Line: No girl, I don't fancy wines, but I do appreciate moans.

Wine Lover Chat Up Line: Hey babe, I'm locally sourced, organic, and biodynamic. Wanna taste?

Q. What is the difference between a bottle of wine and a prostitute?
A. The older the bottle of wine, the more you'll pay for it.

Fine Wine Pick Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.

Fine Wine Pick Up Line: Hey baby, you're eyes are as sparkling as this glass of champagne.

Fine Wine Pick Up Line: Hey baby, Wow! And I thought my wine had nice legs!

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