Chimp Chef Says: Saw my dad chopping up Onions today and I cried. Onions was a good dog!   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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ET Chef Says: My wife made me a green hamburger for St. Patrick's Day? I asked how she colored it, ans she said she didn't know what I was talking about!
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? His wife is still mourning. Cheese still not over it!
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? His legacy is a pizza history
Gorilla Chef Asks: Why did the chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of thyme!
A new chef bought the old greasy spoon restaurnat but the current menu is an acquired taste!

 


Chef Humor, Kitchen Puns, Fun With Chefs
Sample funny chef jokes, hot cooking puns, spicy gourmet laughs and delicious kitchen humor.

Tasty Chef Jokes, Kitchen Humor, Cooking Puns
(Because Yummy Culinary Jokes and Gourmet Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Casual Kitchen Cooks!)
Warning: Over-Indulge at Your Own Risk! Salty gourmet humor and dry chef jokes may cause hunger puns.
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |
| Italian Food Puns | 2 | 3 | Restaurant Humor | 2 | 3 | Tex-Mex Jokes | Colorado Cuisine Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Butcher Jokes and Beef Puns | 2 | Hamburger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs |

Chimp Chef Asks: Did you hear about the Italian chef injured in a pizza accident? Now, he cannoli do so much!Old Cooks Never Die, They Just Get DerangedMonster Chef Asks: What do you call a chef who won't try dishes made by other chefs? A. Full of himself!

Did you hear about the chef who had mushroom for improvement? He was a fungi, but of questionable morel character.

The harried hamburger chef was so worried about the grill, that he put everything else on the back burner.

Q. What do you call it when a chef runs out of seafood for her famous chowder?
A. A clam-ity!

Cooking Point to Ponder: Can free range chicken be cooked on a stove you bought?

To learn how to properly cook Japanese food, the chef bento-ver backward.

Q. What does the chef say when a meal he makes completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
A. It hit despot.

Cook a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you get rid of him for the entire weekend!

The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise, but the fire truck ruined it...

Funny Chef Tip of the Day: When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.

Q. Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot?
A. Snails are not fast food and nobody's got slime for that!

Foodie Point to Ponder: Is eating breakfast in front of the TV at the same time every day actually breakfast serial?

Q. How can you tell the Thanksgiving chefs are have a very serious discussion?
A. They're talking turkey.

Ape Chef Asks: Did you hear about the dominatrix chef? She beats the eggs and whips the cream!A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blown Apart.Chimp Chef Asks: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? A. you get buttered up!

When asked about rumors he owned a bakery, Shakespeare replied, "It's much a dough about muffin!"

Q. What is a skeleton chef's specialty?
A. Spare ribs.

If you believe the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're aiming a bit too high.

Q. What do witch chefs put on their bagels?
A. Scream cheese.

Ooh la laugh! Alas, we cannoli do so much...

Q. What happens when two chefs have a cooking contest?
A. The heat is on!

The terrorist chef's oven was a weapon of mass convection.

Q. Why was the restaurant called Out of This World?
A. Because it was famous for unidentified frying objects.

Chef Pick-Up Line: I know we've just met, but will you marinate me?

Q. Why did the chef have to stop working at the sea food restaurant?
A. Because he pulled a mussel.

Q. Why was the floundering seafood restaurant allowed to cook its books?
A. There's no accounting for taste!

Did you hear about the British cannibal who enjoyed dining on fish and chaps?

A good baker always rises to the occasion. It's the yeast he can do!Q. Why did the finicy vegan chef quit? A. they cut his celery!Cow Chef Asks: Did you hear about the brutal fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered!

Q. What do bakers give ladies on special occasions?
A. Flours.

Q. Where do Cockney bakers live?
A. The Yeast End.

Q. What do you call it when you burn your bread?
A. Loafing it too much!

I used to love doughnuts, but then I got bored with the hole thing.

Did you hear about the local baker who was paying his staff on a flourly rate?

The chef had a very strict policy: No bitchin' in his kitchen!

Q. What does a chef call recurrent dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking you while you're cooking?
A. Rameses Kitchen Nightmares.

Two chefs argued for hours about flat bread until they finally realized it was a naan issue.

Q. How does a chef acquire great taste?
A. With a little seasoning.

Funny Chef Point to Ponder: Is a short order cook just a flash in the pan?

A fabulous chef can take mere cheese and make something grate!

Q. What is a professional BBQ chef's favorite fairy tale?
A. Hansel and Gristle.

Q. What happened after a chef was murdered by being boiled to death in an industrial pasta cooker?
A. Police are still trying to al dente-fy a suspect.

My friend and I attended culinary school together and then opened our own restaurant. Yes, we are taste buds!

After rubbing seasonings on the Thanksgiving turkey, the chef had some spare thyme on her hands!Hulk Humor: Got angry at a chef in an Italian restaurant and gave him a pizza my mindGorilla Chef Joke: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way!

Funny Culinary Tip of the Day: Did you know that good gravy is baste on turkey drippings?

Q. What did the enthusiastic chef say?
A. Thyme flies when you're having fun.

Q. How does a penguin chef make pancakes?
A. He uses his flippers.

Waiter: Why didn't you prepare all the dishes on that long list?
Chef: Because I'm a short order cook.

Q. Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?
A. Because he got the crepes.

Two men were sitting at the diner's bar. First guy says, "I eat at a different restaurant every day." The other guy replies, "Oh, yeah, I don't tip either."

Hulk's legacy will become a pizza history!

Yesterday, my refrigerator thought it was a microwave. We got into a heated fight, but now everything is cool again.

Did you hear about the guy who was a cook in the military? He was proud to serve in the army.

Q. What do you call it when you get distracted by all the different meats in the deli?
A. A short attention Spam.

Wouldn't you think there'd be more online chef jokes about Spam?

Restaurant Point to Ponder: Any cook who swears is French, or is that just what he wants you to think?

Did you hear about the chef who slipped and broke his prime rib?

Did you hear about the chef who got an injection for a severe allergic reaction? Yeah, he got an epi-cure!

Q. What do you call an ill-tempered old chef who goes bankrupt?
A. A curmudgeonly crumble.

Q. What did the client say when a psychic told him the spirit of an old Italian chef is haunting his house?
A. I'm not worried because I ain’t alfredo no ghost.

Did you hear that Dracula collapsed after dining on a guy who ate garlic at the salad bar? Just another victim of Buffet, the Vampire Slayer.

| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |
| Italian Food Puns | 2 | 3 | Restaurant Humor | 2 | 3 | Tex-Mex Jokes | Colorado Cuisine Jokes |
| Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Beef Jokes | 2 | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad Jokes | Tomato Jokes | Veggie Laughs |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage Humor | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Tasty Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |


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