Q. What do you call it when one cow spies on another? A. A steak out!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. After the bank robbery, why did the owner buy cows? A. To beef up security!
Gnome Buddy, do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Q. What do you call a pig that's wrong? A. Mistaken Bacon!
Cow Pun: A man assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How Dairy!
Q. Why can't cows become detectives? A. Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!

 


Police Food Jokes, Donut Puns, Prison Food LOLs
Take a bite out of crime with donut jokes, hamburglar humor, wurst laughs and grilled puns.

Cop Cuisine Jokes and Jail-y Doughnut Puns
(Because Beaten Jokes ane Battered Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream For Hungry Cops Out On a Steak Out!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Glazed donut jokes, ham-burglar humor, and mutton for punishment puns ahead.
| Cop CuisineJokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Detective Jokes | Robber Puns | Jail Jokes, Prison Puns |
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Barely Legal Jokes and Criminal Puns | 2 | Lawyer Jokes | Killer Friday the 13th Humor |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero Puns |

Q. What are the four food groups of police officers? A. Jelly, glazed, powdered and chocolate!Q. What did the head chef say when the rookie burned the dessert? A. Is that a crime brulee?Q. What are the only places with 24-hour police protection? A. Donut shope!

Q. Why was the cannibal cop arrested?
A. He was caught grilling his suspects!

Q. Why did the cops arrest the sausage?
A. Because it was the wurst!

Q. What is a policeman's favorite summer vegetable?
A. Corn on the cop.

Q. Why was the celery arrested by the food police?
A. For stalking...

Q. How do beat cops define the word: doughnut?
A. A local bakery owner who is absolutely crazy about money.

Cop Cusisine Point to Ponder: Can a policeman who's ambidextrous eat donuts with both hands?

Cop: Why did you dump these vegetables on my desk?
Criminal: Because you said it was time to spill the beans.

Q. What do non-vegans call a police officer in a sleeping bag?
A. Pig in a blanket.

Q. Why did the janitor call DPD to Coors Field during the Rockies game?
A. Somebody was selling Rocky Mountain Oysters in the stands, and he didn't want to clean up all the vomit after the balls dropped.

Q. What did the juiced-out battery say to the cop waiting outside the bar?
A. Feel free to charge me.

Q. What do cops recommend to stop criminals from stealing your high0end barbeque grill?
A. A burger alarm!

Q. Why do cop diets fail?
A. Because seven days without donuts makes one weak.

Q. Which money saying do cops really eat up?
A. Dollars to donuts.

Police Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you are just like my donut. You're half sweet and half nuts.

Q. What does a policeman hate on his peanut butter sandwich?
A. Traffic Jam.

Q. What do prisoners in Denver County lockup eat for breakfast?
A. Jail-y Donuts.

Q. Which holiday is every policeman's favorite?
A. National Donut Day.

Q. What do you call a pig thief? A. A Hamburglar!Police pick-up lines for blondes: Did I tell you that I live next door to Dunkin' Donuts?Q. What do you call it when one bull spies on another? A. A steak out!

Q. What do you call it when a criminal is being fed awful sheep meat while in jail?
A. Mutton for punishment.

Q. How can a pregnant woman tell she's carrying a future policeman?
A. She has uncontrollable cravings for pork.

Q. How does the Denver Police Department grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. What do you call a claim that a hungry police officer could eat a big T-bone steak hot off the grill in just one minute?
A. Hard to swallow.

Q. Why did the Denver police arrest the craft brewer?
A. He was accused of a-malt and beer-tery.

Q. What do cops call it when they're called out to the local donut bakery?
A. Bread Alert!

Q. What is every policeman's favorite charity fundraiser?
A. Dollars to Donuts.

Q. What happened after a chef was murdered by being boiled to death in an industrial pasta cooker?
A. Police are still trying to al dente-fy a suspect.

Q. Why did the grill master enroll at the police academy?
A. Because he enjoyed steak outs.

Criminal Fact of the Day: People who rob banks and jewelry stores are pretty bad. But, thieves who rob bakeries really take the cake!

Q. Why did the food police arrest the poultry chef?
A. They accused him of battering the chicken.

Wurst Legal Joke Ever: People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

A baker stopped making donuts because he got tired of the hole thing!Food Pick-Up Joke: Hey Gnirl, you must be a bacon burger 'cause you're bacon me crazy!Cheesy Pun: She quit her job at the donut factory because she got fed up with the hole business.

Officer: Do you know why I stopped you?
Blonde: Because I didn't pull out of the donut shop too fast?

Q. Why are cop donut shop jokes always so funny?
A. They never get mold.

Cop: Sir, your eyes are red. Have you been smoking weed?
Motorist: Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts?

Q. Why do cops that play basketball like donuts the most?
A. Because they love to dunk them.

Q. When should noises your dishwasher makes alarm you?
A. When it says, "Open Up! Dish is the FBI!"

Q. What do the cops say when they arrive during your Denver Broncos party?
A. Dish is the Police!

Q. How did the jury find the hamburger defendant?
A. Grill-ty as Charred!

Q. What do you call a fruit that commits an egregious crime?
A. A water felon.

Cop Cuisine Point to Ponder: Do cops like doughnuts better when they're spelled Do-Nuts?

Q. What did the cops see after they told the Pillsbury Doughboy to spread 'em?
A. Doughnuts!

Q. What happened to the Italian chef who tried to bribe the judge with polenta?
A. He was held in corntempt.

Q. Why do carrots make such great detectives?
A. Because they always get down to the root of the problem.

Java Joke: Stealing someone's coffee is a crime called "Mugging!"Q. Which move does a karate pig use most? A. The Pork Chop!Owner of a threatening bull was arrested. He was brought up on charges.

Q. What happened after a guy reported his coffee cup stolen?
A. He had to go down to the police station to look at some mug shots.

Q. What kind of tea do cops prefer?
A. Police brew tally tea.

Q. Why did the pot of coffee have to call the police department?
A. 'Cause it got mugged!

Q. Where do basketball players get their coffee?
A. At Dunkin' Donuts!

Q. How does the Krispy Creme sales rep refer to his agenda?
A. Doughnut Call List.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the restaurant hostess?
A. She kept breaking bread.

Q. How do motorcycle cops host the best backyard BBQ pig roast ever?
A. They go whole hog!

Q. What do you call a rookie banana motorcycle cop in California?
A. Banana CHIPs!

Q. What do you call the teal-colored tape some police wrap around crime scenes?
A. Cordon Blue.

Q. Is it proper to eat donuts with your fingers?
A. No, fingers should be eaten separately!

Q. What does a strangler serial killer eat for dessert?
A. Garrote Cake.

Q. Which kind of bakery always merits 24-hour police protection?
A. Donut shops.

Q. Which sneaky thief steals meat off your BBQ grill?
A. The Hamburglar.

Q. Which topping doesn't a cop like on his toast?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the chef?
A. They accused him of beating the eggs.

Q. What did the hamburger say when it pleaded not guilty?
A. I've been flamed!

Q. What is an inmate's least favorite food?
A. Celery.

Q. Which kind of donuts can fly?
A. The plane ones.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the donut baker?
A. He was caught pinching the salt.

| Cop CuisineJokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Detective Jokes | Robber Puns | Jail Jokes, Prison Puns |
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Barely Legal Jokes and Criminal Puns | 2 | Lawyer Jokes | Killer Friday the 13th Humor |
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