What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
A. He decided to go into politics and run for office.
Which hit song does a president who wants military aid from
a small African republic sing?
A. Help Me Rwanda.
Why do some old folks move south to Florida?
A. Because they don't like liberal snowflakes.
you're from Texas, you're a Texan. If you're from Colorado,
you're a Coloradan. If you're from Virginia, you're a Virgiinian.
But, if you're from Massachusetts, you're a democrat.
Why did the political reporter go to his gym so often?
A. For his daily spin class.
What happened when the President was injured by a tornado?
A. Not much since his spin doctor was there to aid him.
What is it called when an incomprehensible campaigning politician
does his whole act leaning toward the left?
What's the difference between a prostitute and a poliitician?
A. The prostitute will stop screwing you once you're dead.
How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Six. One to screw it in and five to screw up rebutting
the neocons' lies about them.
Point to Ponder: Donald Trump is like top shelf vodka. Expensive,
transparent, and wouldn't be here if not for Russia!
What is Donald Trump's least favorite classic rock band?
What is the new civil rights legislation called?
A. Equality Control.
pacifists never die. They just go to peaces.
What's the main problem with political jokes?
A. Politicians don't think they're funny, and nobody else
thinks they're jokes!
State Political Trend Tidbit: In the near future, Florida
will be a blue state. With rising oceans, it'll be under
Which well-known show tune was about Tiffany, Melania, and
A. The Lady is a Trump.
Why do rappers hate President Trump?
A. 'Cause nothing rhymes with orange.
Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American
A. Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering
in his next erection.
Where do politicians go to fool around?
A. Estate of affairs.
Why should you elect a janitor to local gorvenment?
A. They're great at great at cleaning up messes.