Why wasn't the guy angry after burglars stole all his booze?
A. Because they lifted his spirits.
bank robber pulls out a gun and points it at the teller
saying, "Give me all your money or you are Geography!"
The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or
you're History'?" The bank robber replied,
"Don't change the subject."
the same bank was robbed multiple times by the same perp,
the FBI agent asked the bank teller, "Did you notice
anything special about the man?" The teller replied,
"Yes, he seemed better dressed each time."
Pick-Up Line: Is your father
a drug dealer? 'Cause you sure are dope.
Which thief steals meat?
A. The Hamburglar.
Why did the cops arrest a fellow pig?
A. Because he was a pigpocket.
Why was the little rubber duck arrested by the park police?
A. He was a bird-lery suspect.
What happened to the burglar who fell into a cement mixer?
A. Now, he's a hardened criminal.
What happened to the robber who stole all the light bulbs
at the police station?
A. He got a light sentence.
What happens when old burglars die?
A. They just steal away.
Which criminal wrote the book, Stealing A Glance Into
A. Robin Bankz.
Pick-Up Line: I'm a thief,
so I'm here to steal your heart.
Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the deaf banker who
got robbed? Neither did he. OUCH!
How was the toupee shop burglary investigation going?
A. Cops have not found the stolen wigs, but they are still
combing all parts of the area and brushing up on all hairy
What happened to the thief who stole credit card numbers
and used them to make purchases?
A. The judge found guilty as charged.
Money Crime of the Day: Give a man a gun and he will rob
a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.
Why did the cop spend his shift at the baseball park?
A. He heard somebody stole a base!