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Police
Station Jokes, Copper Humor, Jail Puns
Cop
some laughs, detective humor, prison warden puns, and jokes that'll make
your day.
Police Jokes, Unlawful Puns, Arresting Humor
(Because Barely Legal Cop Jokes
Could Never Be TOO Mainstream if You're the One
Wearing the Handcuffs!) |
Warning:
Proceed without Leaving Fingerprints! Arresting humor, jail jokes,
legal LOLs and unlawful puns ahead.
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5 | 6 | 7
| 8 | 9 |
Arresting Jokes | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Gun
Jokes | Explosion Jokes, Bomb
Puns | Killer Humor |
| Lawyer Jokes | Judge
Jokes | Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Weed Jokes | Denver
Cop Jokes |
Q.
What kind of metal is common inside a police station?
A. Copper.
Q.
What did the CSI team find in the clean nose?
A. Fingerprints.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Officer,
that uniform is very becoming on you. But if I were on you,
I'd be coming, too. |
Q.
What is a prison warden's favorite type of battery?
A. Duracell!
Q.
What did the blonde policewoman wear to the stake out?
A. An underwire bra!
Q.
Why was the cannibal cop arrested?
A. He was caught grilling his suspects!
|
Blonde
Beat: Did you hear that the cops are looking for a guy with
one eye? Geez, why don't they use both?
Q.
What is a policeman's favorite summer vegetable?
A. Corn on the cop.
Q.
Which animal has an asshole halfway up his back?
A. A police horse. |
Cop:
When I pulled you over, I guessed 55.
Matronly Suspect: No sir, it's just my hat that makes me
look like that.
Q.
Why did the grammarian appeal his conviction verdict?
A. Because the sentence was way too long.
Q.
Wanna hear a really cold cop joke?
A. Freeze!
Undercover
Cop Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe,
you look cold. Wanna share my blanket? |
Q.
What do you call a blonde police officer?
A. A fair cop!
Q.
Which three letters of the alphabet frighten criminals most?
A. F.B.I.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Are you on
the FBI Most Wanted List? 'Cause you are on the
top of my list.
Q.
What is a criminal lawyer?
A. Redundant.
|
Q.
What did the burglar say to the clock shop owner as he was
tying him up?
A. Sorry to take so much of your precious time.
Q.
Which famous shoe salesman joined the police force?
A. Buster Brown.
Constable
Pick-Up Line: What are
you doing with your Bobby night stick later tonight?
Bobby
Pick-Up Line: Don't you
just love a man in uniform? |
Q.
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?
A. A cellfie.
Q.
How did the criminal get into counterfeitting?
A. He answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."
Q.
Why did the blonde brassiere salesman stop by the police
station?
A. Duh! Seriously? |
Q.
Why do pens get sent to prison?
A. To do long sentences.
Q.
Why was ink sent back to prison?
A. For escaping from the pen.
Q.
What is it called when a cop puts a suspect in the back
seat of his cruiser?
A. In-car-ceration.
Q.
Why did the burglar take a shower?
A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!
|
Blonde:
There are hundreds of dead people and a cannibal here!
Police Dispatcher: Where are you?
Blonde: Littleton Cemetery.
(Alferd Packer, confessed cannibal, is buried in Littleton,
Colorado)
What
not to say when you get pulled over:
Are you the guy from the Village People?
Police
Pick-Up Line: Love, if
you cock my revolver, it's likely to go off. |
Q.
Why did the policeman arrest the off-key musician with no
rhythm?
A. Because he was a beat cop.
Q.
Why was the Oscar-winning actor arrested?
A. For stealing the show.
Q.
Why did the janitor call DPD to Coors Field during the Rockies
game?
A. Somebody was selling Rocky Mountain Oysters in the stands,
and he didn't want to clean up all the vomit after the balls
dropped. |
Q.
What happened to the robber who stole all the light bulbs
at the police station?
A. He got a light sentence.
Q.
How does the Denver Police Department grill a chicken?
A. Knock her down on the pavement and repeatedly ask her
why she crossed the road last night.
Q.
Which police interrogator wrote the book, Getting At
the Truth?
A. Paul E. Graff.
|
Q.
Why was the building put in handcuffs?
A. It was a house arrest.
Q.
Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world?
A. Because he can hold up a 10-Ton truck with his hand.
Grandpa
got his first cell phone and it was an iPhone. The first
time he used it, he called his son saying in a panic, "I'm
going to jail! It says I'm going to Face Time!"
|
|
Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes
| 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 |
9 | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor
| Judge Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
Explosive Bomb Puns |
| Denver Cop Puns | Arresting
Jokes | Animal Crimie Jokes
| Farm Criminal LOLs, Cow Cop Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Lawyer
Jokes, Attorney Puns | Killer Friday
13th LOLs |
| Fireman Jokes, Arson Puns | Military
Jokes, Soldier Puns | Politician
Jokes, Political Puns |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug
Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero
Puns |
| Job Jokes | Actor
Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut
Puns | Athlete Jokes | Auto
Mechanic Puns |
| Baker Jokes | Bartender
Jokes | Chef Puns | Electrician
Jokes | Home Contractor Humor
|
| Locksmith Puns | Magician
| Musician | Plumber
| Psychic Jokes | Shrink
Puns | Tech Support |

You're not in the clink, so
here's even more most
wanted
laughter,
jail jokes, hot
humor, and unlawful
painful puns to make your day:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Beer Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Bloody Funny Puns |
Colorado Jokes | Dog
Jokes | Fitness Humor | Friday
Jokes |
| Hipster Jokes | Music
Jokes | Phone Jokes |
Pick-Up Lines | Pig Jokes | Pirate
Jokes | Road Crossing Jokes |
| Sasquatch Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Stoner Jokes | Superman
Jokes | Travel Puns |
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