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Q. What
happens when
two guns
fall in love?

A. They go

Rappers, please stop putting police sirens in your beats. When I'm driving, it scares the crap out of me!

Q. What is
a slow bullet

A. A slug.

A rubberband pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math destruction.


NRA Jokes, Gun Puns, Weapon Humor, Shot Jokes
Pull the trigger for fully loaded puns, shoot 'em up humor, bulletproof laughs and gunfire jokes.

Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Armed LOLs, Ammo Humor
('Cause Revolver Jokes and Pistol Packin' Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at a Gun Shop or NRA Convention!)
Warning: Proceed with Bulletproof Vest! Shooting jokes, trigger happy NRA humor, and pistol-packing puns ahead.
| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor | Explosive Bomb Puns | Judge Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns |
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns | 2 | Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Puns |
Police Jokes, Cop Puns |
Pistol to Sun: Happy Gun Day?
What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare Tree
Police pick-up lines for blondes: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Q. Why did the guy shoot his alarm clock during his vacation?
A. Because he just felt like killing time.

Q. How do you turn a handgun into a shotgun?
A. Just shoot it.

A gun walks into a bar. Bartender says, "I can't serve you. You're already loaded."

Q. How did the gun assassin's first date go?
A. They really hit it off.

Boyfriend: What are your thoughts on guns?
Blonde: That's a loaded question.

Q. Where do gun owners buy ammunition online?
A. Ammo-zone.moc.

Q. How are a bullet and a really funny joke different?
A. After the joke, you die laughing. .

Q. Which superpower does everybody have?
A. Everyone can stop a bullet – once.

Q. Why do bullets make the best employees?
A. After being fired, they still get the job done.

Q. How are words like bullets?
A. People fear them if you're holding a gun.

I swear I will kill somebody if I am fired.
– A Bullet.

Q. Why shouldn't you accept a job as a bullet?
A. 'Cause you'll certainly be fired.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the guy who had a gun made out of Jell-o?
A. For carrying a congealed weapon.

Q. Why was the guy, whose right hand was burning, worried about getting arrested?
A. He didn't want to be arrested for illegal possesion of a fire arm.

Q. What did the guy do when his wife walked in on him while cleaning his guns?
A. He greeted her with open arms.

Ttaffic Cop Stop Come-On: No Officer, I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by your big guns.

Q. What do you do when your new gun doesn't fire?
A. Read the trouble-shooting guide.

Q. What is
the perfect
hair style
for a

A. Bangs.

Barely legal police pick-up line: Ever seen a baton this big? How about you cock my gun?

Q. Which organization

A. The NRA.

Q. Why won't they let artists join the police force?
A. Because they have a tendency to draw enemy fire.

Q. How are a photographer and a sniper alike?
A. Both are paid to take head shots.

A bank robber pulls out a gun and points it at the teller saying, "Give me all your money or you are Geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're History'?" The bank robber replied, "Don't change the subject."

Q. Why did the blonde take her knife to the gunfight?
A. So she'd have the edge. DUH!

Q. What happens when you shoot a guy with a paintball gun?
A. You watch him dye.

Q. Why did the bodybuilder get stopped by the police?
A. The cops said it was illegal to carry those guns in public.

Criminal Bodybuilder Chat Up Line: Babe, I was arrested the other night, for having two guns and a six pack.

Shooting News of the Day: Did you hear about the guy who was shot by the starter pistol? Bystanders report it was race related.

Police Pick Up Line: Girl, if you cock my revolver, it's likely to go off.

Q. What are the most effectice police gun bullets made of?
A. Copper.

Q. Why was the blonde wearing a bulletproof vest while using the computer?
A.To protect herself from screen shots. DUH!

Q. What do you call an NRA guy with an erection?
A. A hard conservaative

Q. Which organization lobbies for Canadian gun rights?
A. The NR, eh.

Q. What is the Italian equivalent to the NRA called?
A. Prosciutto.

Fired Up Fact of the Day from the NRA: Guns are not lethal. Gunshots are.

Q. What did the senior single-action revolver say to the newly hired double-action gun?
A. Don't get too cocky.

Gun Salesman: No, buy this rifle instead.
customer: Why?
Salesman: This one is a better bang for the buck.

Police pick-up lines for blondes: What else can you do with your nightstick?

Q. Why did
the space
police arrest
a meteorite?

A. Because
it was a
shooting star.

Gnirl, you have the right to bear me in your arms!

Q. What do you call a cop who breezes through the new radar gun's users manual?
A. A speed reader.

Q. What is the difference between tech support and an armed mass murderer?
A. One specializes in trouble-shooting, and the other is a troubled shooter.

Q. What happened to the blonde who was pumping gas while smoking a cigarette?
A. Her arm caught on fire. When the cops showed up, they shot her for waving a fire arm.

Q. What is a shooting in a church called?
A. A mass murder.

Q. When does a gun dealer have breakfast?
A. At ate o'glock.

Q. Why did the astronaut wear a bulletproof vest?
A. To protect himself from shooting stars.

Q. How do armed robbers travel?
A. They take the bullet train.

Q. How do cops get the Tex-Mex chef to take the heat off?
A. They disarm him.

Q. What is the term for gun-tting babies?
A. The Infantry.

Big Money Crime of the Day: Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

Q. What happened when Chuck Norris was hit by gunfire?
A. The bullets were critically wounded.

Q. Why was the redneck, who liked to shoot guns and drink whiskey, all bummed out?
A. Because he was all out of shots.

Q. What do a Redneck and T-Rex have in common?
A. Both like their small arms.

Q. What is it called when a redneck shoots a bucket of cow manure?
A. A crap shoot.

Good 'Ol Boy Fact of the Day: Northeners joke abour rednecks, but just wait. When the zombie apocalypse happens, you'll wish armed rednecks lived next door.

Q. If cows carry ecoli and chickens carry salmonella, what do pigs carry?
A. A gun, a badge, and a get out of jail free card.

Q. Why
does Batman
wear dark

A. Because he
doesn't want
to get shot.

Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert? A. He never forgets a phaser!

Q. What do
you call a guy
who can
fix his own
skeet gun?

A. A trouble

Q. Why does Robin wear bright clothing?
A. Because Batman does not want to get shot!

Q. Which music played before the NRA meeting in 1966
A. The Beatles Revolver album.

Q. Which award did the journalist win for this year's best mass shooting coverage?
A. The Bullets Surprise.

Q. What iis a gun-totoing thug's least favorite 80s band?
A. The Police.

Q. Which kind of weapons protects the queen and the hive?
A. Bee Bee guns.

Q. Which small arms dealer has been around for eons?
A. T-Rex.

Q. Which kind of gun fires swords?
A. Excaliper.

Enterprise Rap of the Day: If the phaser shocker don't rock her, then go ahead a Spock her!

Q. Which brand of 3D printer produces the biggest guns?
A. Cannon.

Q. What do you call a hangun that looks lke a piece of fruit?
A. A bangnana.

Q. What happened to the guy who was shot multiple times with an upholstery gun?
A. He's now fully recovered.

Q. Which type of gun does an army cook use?
A. A salt rifle.

Q. Which British invasion band shot onto the scene?
A The Sex Pistols.

Q. Which award is given to the photojournalist who's the best shot?
A. The Duel It Sir Prize.

Skydiving Tip of the Day: Chute first, ask questions later!

Judge: Why did you shoot that bird?
Defendant: It was just a lark.

Q. Which big box retail store suffers the most shooting?
A. You'd think it's Target, but Walmart is preferred by 9 out of 10 rednecks and mental patients.

Q. What is a wildlife fish photographer called?
A. A school shooter.

Q. What does the rehab center call a knife that does heroine?
A. A sharp shooter.

Q. Which prize was awarded to the journalist who exposed the dangerous suburban skeet shooting range?
A. The Pull It Surprise.

Fast Bite of the Day: Did you know that hitmen prefer take-out food?

| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor | Explosive Bomb Puns | Judge Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns |

| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Denver Cop Puns | Arresting Jokes | Animal Crimie Jokes | Farm Criminal LOLs, Cow Cop Puns |
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns | 2 | Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Puns | Killer Friday 13th LOLs |

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| Locksmith Puns | Magician | Musician | Plumber | Psychic Jokes | Shrink Puns | Tech Support |

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