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NRA
Jokes, Gun Puns, Weapon Humor, Shot Jokes
Pull
the trigger for fully loaded puns, shoot 'em up humor, bulletproof laughs
and gunfire jokes.
Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Armed LOLs,
Ammo Humor
('Cause Revolver Jokes and
Pistol Packin' Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream
at a Gun Shop or NRA Convention!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Bulletproof Vest! Shooting jokes, trigger happy NRA
humor, and pistol-packing puns ahead.
| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor
| Explosive Bomb Puns | Judge
Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Lawyer
Jokes, Attorney Puns |
Police
Jokes, Cop Puns
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Q.
Why did the guy shoot his alarm clock during his vacation?
A. Because he just felt like killing time.
Q.
How do you turn a handgun into a shotgun?
A. Just shoot it.
A
gun walks into a bar. Bartender says, "I can't serve
you. You're already loaded."
Q.
How did the gun assassin's first date go?
A. They really hit it off.
Boyfriend:
What are your thoughts on guns?
Blonde: That's a loaded question.
Q.
Where do gun owners buy ammunition online?
A. Ammo-zone.moc. |
Q.
How are a bullet and a really funny joke different?
A. After the joke, you die laughing. .
Q.
Which superpower does everybody have?
A. Everyone can stop a bullet – once.
Q.
Why do bullets make the best employees?
A. After being fired, they still get the job done.
Q.
How are words like bullets?
A. People fear them if you're holding a gun.
I
swear I will kill somebody if I am fired.
– A Bullet.
Q.
Why shouldn't you accept a job as a bullet?
A. 'Cause you'll certainly be fired.
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Q.
Why did the cops arrest the guy who had a gun made out of
Jell-o?
A. For carrying a congealed weapon.
Q.
Why was the guy, whose right hand was burning, worried about
getting arrested?
A. He didn't want to be arrested for illegal possesion of
a fire arm.
Q.
What did the guy do when his wife walked in on him while
cleaning his guns?
A. He greeted her with open arms.
Ttaffic
Cop Stop Come-On: No Officer,
I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by your big guns.
Q.
What do you do when your new gun doesn't fire?
A. Read the trouble-shooting guide. |
Q.
What is
the perfect
hair style
for a
gunslinger?
A.
Bangs.
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Q.
Which organization
has
magazines
on
magazines?
A.
The NRA.
|
Q.
Why won't they let artists join the police force?
A. Because they have a tendency to draw enemy fire.
Q.
How are a photographer and a sniper alike?
A. Both are paid to take head shots.
A
bank robber pulls out a gun and points it at the teller
saying, "Give me all your money or you are Geography!"
The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're
History'?" The bank robber replied, "Don't change
the subject."
Q.
Why did the blonde take her knife to the gunfight?
A. So she'd have the edge. DUH!
Q.
What happens when you shoot a guy with a paintball gun?
A. You watch him dye. |
Q.
Why did the bodybuilder get stopped by the police?
A. The cops said it was illegal to carry those guns in public.
Criminal
Bodybuilder Chat Up Line:
Babe, I was arrested the other night, for having two guns
and a six pack.
Shooting
News of the Day: Did you hear about the guy who was shot
by the starter pistol? Bystanders report it was race related.
Police
Pick Up Line: Girl, if
you cock my revolver, it's likely to go off.
Q.
What are the most effectice police gun bullets made of?
A. Copper.
Q.
Why was the blonde wearing a bulletproof vest while using
the computer?
A.To protect herself from screen shots. DUH!
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Q.
What do you call an NRA guy with an erection?
A. A hard conservaative
Q.
Which organization lobbies for Canadian gun rights?
A. The NR, eh.
Q.
What is the Italian equivalent to the NRA called?
A. Prosciutto.
Fired
Up Fact of the Day from the NRA: Guns are not lethal. Gunshots
are.
Q.
What did the senior single-action revolver say to the newly
hired double-action gun?
A. Don't get too cocky.
Gun
Salesman: No, buy this rifle instead.
customer: Why?
Salesman: This one is a better bang for the buck. |
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Q.
Why did
the space
police arrest
a meteorite?
A.
Because
it was a
shooting star.
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Q.
What do you call a cop who breezes through the new radar
gun's users manual?
A. A speed reader.
Q.
What is the difference between tech support and an armed
mass murderer?
A. One specializes in trouble-shooting, and the other is
a troubled shooter.
Q.
What happened to the blonde who was pumping gas while smoking
a cigarette?
A. Her arm caught on fire. When the cops showed up, they
shot her for waving a fire arm.
Q.
What is a shooting in a church called?
A. A mass murder.
Q.
When does a gun dealer have breakfast?
A. At ate o'glock. |
Q.
Why did the astronaut wear a bulletproof vest?
A. To protect himself from shooting stars.
Q.
How do armed robbers travel?
A. They take the bullet train.
Q.
How do cops get the Tex-Mex chef to take the heat off?
A. They disarm him.
Q.
What is the term for gun-tting babies?
A. The Infantry.
Big
Money Crime of the Day: Give a man a gun and he will rob
a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.
Q.
What happened when Chuck Norris was hit by gunfire?
A. The bullets were critically wounded.
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Q.
Why was the redneck, who liked to shoot guns and drink whiskey,
all bummed out?
A. Because he was all out of shots.
Q.
What do a Redneck and T-Rex have in common?
A. Both like their small arms.
Q.
What is it called when a redneck shoots a bucket of cow
manure?
A. A crap shoot.
Good
'Ol Boy Fact of the Day: Northeners joke abour rednecks,
but just wait. When the zombie apocalypse happens, you'll
wish armed rednecks lived next door.
Q.
If cows carry ecoli and chickens carry salmonella, what
do pigs carry?
A. A gun, a badge, and a get out of jail free card. |
Q.
Why
does Batman
wear dark
clothing?
A.
Because he
doesn't want
to get shot.
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Q.
What do
you call a guy
who can
fix his own
skeet gun?
A.
A trouble
shooter.
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Q.
Why does Robin wear bright clothing?
A. Because Batman does not want to get shot!
Q.
Which music played before the NRA meeting in 1966
A. The Beatles Revolver album.
Q.
Which award did the journalist win for this year's best
mass shooting coverage?
A. The Bullets Surprise.
Q.
What iis a gun-totoing thug's least favorite 80s band?
A. The Police.
Q.
Which kind of weapons protects the queen and the hive?
A. Bee Bee guns.
Q.
Which small arms dealer has been around for eons?
A. T-Rex.
Q.
Which kind of gun fires swords?
A. Excaliper. |
Enterprise
Rap of the Day: If the phaser shocker don't rock her, then
go ahead a Spock her!
Q.
Which brand of 3D printer produces the biggest guns?
A. Cannon.
Q.
What do you call a hangun that looks lke a piece of fruit?
A. A bangnana.
Q.
What happened to the guy who was shot multiple times with
an upholstery gun?
A. He's now fully recovered.
Q.
Which type of gun does an army cook use?
A. A salt rifle.
Q.
Which British invasion band shot onto the scene?
A The Sex Pistols.
Q.
Which award is given to the photojournalist who's the best
shot?
A. The Duel It Sir Prize.
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Skydiving
Tip of the Day: Chute first, ask questions later!
Judge:
Why did you shoot that bird?
Defendant: It was just a lark.
Q.
Which big box retail store suffers the most shooting?
A. You'd think it's Target, but Walmart is preferred by
9 out of 10 rednecks and mental patients.
Q.
What is a wildlife fish photographer called?
A. A school shooter.
Q.
What does the rehab center call a knife that does heroine?
A. A sharp shooter.
Q.
Which prize was awarded to the journalist who exposed the
dangerous suburban skeet shooting range?
A. The Pull It Surprise.
Fast
Bite of the Day: Did you know that hitmen prefer take-out
food? |
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Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor
| Explosive Bomb Puns | Judge
Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes
| 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 |
9 | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Denver Cop Puns | Arresting
Jokes | Animal Crimie Jokes
| Farm Criminal LOLs, Cow Cop Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Lawyer
Jokes, Attorney Puns | Killer Friday
13th LOLs |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug
Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero
Puns |
| Fireman Jokes, Arson Puns | Military
Jokes, Soldier Puns | Politician
Jokes, Political Puns |
| Job Jokes | Actor
Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut
Puns | Athlete Jokes | Auto
Mechanic Puns |
| Baker Jokes | Bartender
Jokes | Chef Puns | Electrician
Jokes | Home Contractor Humor
|
| Locksmith Puns | Magician
| Musician | Plumber
| Psychic Jokes | Shrink
Puns | Tech Support |

You're
still shooting for
laughs, so get a bang out of
even more targeted
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well-armed painful puns that
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