|
Police
Jokes, Cop Humor, Organized Crime Puns
Cop
a few funny undercover laughs, serve and protect puns, humor busts, and
jail jokes.
Policeman Puns, Jail Jokes, Copper Humor
(Because Cop Comedy and Stolen
Laughs Are Never TOO Mainstream Until You've Seen
Your Mugshot Photo!) |
Warning:
Proceed at the Speed Limit! Highway patrolman humor, hot LOLs, police
jokes and crime-y puns ahead.
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5 | 6 | 7
| 8 | 9 |
Arresting Jokes | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Gun
Jokes | Explosion Jokes, Bomb
Puns | Killer Humor |
| Lawyer Jokes | Judge
Jokes | Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Weed Jokes | Denver
Cop Jokes |
Q.
What did Dracula say to the cop that pulled him over near
the highway?
A. I was just looking for the main artery.
Q.
Why did a cop pull the vampire over?
A. He was a suspect in a blood bank robbery.
Q.
What does the NYPD dentist do the day after Halloween?
A. A cavity search?
Q.
Who is the strongest thief?
A. The shoplifter.
|
Today's
horoscope said: "You're going places today and you
can't be stopped!" Yeah right, tell that to the cop
that just pulled me over...
Q.
What do you call a flying policeman?
A. A helicopter.
Q.
What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?
A. One steals from the people, and the other peals from
the steeple.
Old
detectives never die. They just go under cover.
|
Q.
Where can you find a bunch of clowns who deserve to be in
jail?
A. Silly Con Valley.
Q.
Why were the police detectives hanging out at the beach?
A. Because they were expecting a crime wave.
Q.
Why did the blanket salesman join the police force?
A. Because he liked working under cover. |
Q.
What is the plumbing in the bathroom at the police station
made of?
A. Copper.
Q.
Why did the septic tank technician become a crime reporter?
A. He was used to digging up a lot of sh*t.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Your family
must have been in organized crime, because I've already
cracked you. |
Q.
Which hired killer never gets a prison sentence?
A. An exterminator!
Q.
What do you get if you cross a gangster and a garbage man?
A. Organized grime.
Policewoman
Pick-Up Line: Are you carrying
a concealed weapon, or are you just happy to see me?
|
Q.
What did the cop say after a woman reported her wig was
stolen?
A. Yes Maam, we'll comb the area.
Q.
How is attending the Policeman's Balls like going
to a bait shop?
A. There is an abundance of worms, maggots, nightcrawlers,
and suckers.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Babe, you
have the right to remain silent, but I doubt you will. |
Q.
Why did the cops arrest the chef?
A. They accused him of beating the eggs.
Q.
How is Facebook like jail?
A. You have a profile picture, you sit around writing on
walls, and you get poked by guys you don't know.
Q.
Why did the cops arrest a fellow pig?
A. Because he was an infamous hamburglar. |
Incredible
Trivia: The police label anyone who attacks The Hulk as
45-11, a suicide. OUCH!
A
peep hole has appeared in the ladies locker room at the
gym. Police investigators are looking into it.
Q.
What happened after the drug company lab was broken into
by two guys who only stole Viagra?
A. Cops put out an APB for two hardened criminals. |
Officer:
Do you know why I stopped you?
Blonde: Because I didn't pull out of the donut shop too
fast?
Q.
Why did the helium balloon vendor enroll at the police academy?
A. Because he enjoyed a good bust.
Q.
Why did the she-riff arrest the bass guitar player?
A. For fingering A Minor. |
Q.
Why did the clock stop by police headquarters?
A. To pay off all its tick-ets.
Q.
Why did the book police visit the courthouse?
A. Because all the sentences there were way too long.
Q.
Why did the space police arrest the star?
A. 'Cause it was a shooting star. |
Q.
Why did the sculptor join the police department?
A. He was really good at busts.
Q.
What did the burglar say to the woman who caught him stealing
her silver?
A. I am at your service, ma'am.
Q.
What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed
on the Interstate?
A. Police did not ticket the driver, saying he had a bum
steer.
|
Judge:
Why did you steal that bird?
Defendant: It was just a lark.
Judge:
Have you anything to offer this court before I pass sentence?
Defendant: No Your Honor, my lawyer took every penny.
Cop:
Sir, your eyes are red. Have you been smoking weed?
Motorist: Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts?
|
|
Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes
| 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 |
9 | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor
| Judge Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
Explosive Bomb Puns |
| Denver Cop Puns | Arresting
Jokes | Animal Crimie Jokes
| Farm Criminal LOLs, Cow Cop Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Lawyer
Jokes, Attorney Puns | Killer Friday
13th LOLs |
| Fireman Jokes, Arson Puns | Military
Jokes, Soldier Puns | Politician
Jokes, Political Puns |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug
Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero
Puns |
| Job Jokes | Actor
Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut
Puns | Athlete Jokes | Auto
Mechanic Puns |
| Baker Jokes | Bartender
Jokes | Chef Puns | Electrician
Jokes | Home Contractor Humor
|
| Locksmith Puns | Magician
| Musician | Plumber
| Psychic Jokes | Shrink
Puns | Tech Support |
You're still in comedy rehabilatation,
so here's more undercover
humor,
stolen
laughter, hot jokes and fuzzy
painful puns to serve and protect
you:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Beer Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Bloody Funny Puns |
Colorado Jokes | Dog
Jokes | Fitness Humor | Friday
Jokes |
| Hipster Jokes | Music
Jokes | Phone Jokes |
Pick-Up Lines | Pig Jokes | Pirate
Jokes | Road Crossing Jokes |
| Sasquatch Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Stoner Jokes | Superman
Jokes | Travel Puns |
Thanks
for stopping by and see you again soon!
Join
us on social media and please
feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
©2017-2021
Painfulpuns.com
All rights reserved. |
|
|