Hulking Funny: What do you get if you pour cement on a burglar? A Hardened Criminal   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Cops arrested two boys, one for drinking battery acid and the other for fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off!
Q. What did the stoner at the party say before the copy came? A. Let's blow this joint!
Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? A. To do his duty!

 


Police Jokes, Dirty Crook Humor, Arresting Puns
Just the ticket for hoosegow humor, illegal laughs, crooked puns and jailhouse jokes that rock.

Police Officer Puns, Cop Jokes, Criminal Humor
(Because Legal Laughs and Cop Cruiser Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When Sirens Are After You!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Hoosegow humor, forceful police jokes, crooked grins and fuzzy puns ahead.
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns |
| Barely Legal Jokes and Criminal Puns | 2 | Lawyer Jokes | Killer Friday the 13th Humor |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero Puns |

What happens if you start an illegal fire using flint? You get a sparking ticket!Q. Why did the book join the police department? A. He wanted to go undercover!You don't now  how fas you were going, huh? That means I can write anything I want on the ticket!

Q. What do the cops say when they arrive during your tailgating party?
A. Dish is the Police!

Cop: Why did you dump these vegetables on my desk?
Criminal: Because you said it was time to spill the beans.

Q. What do lawyers call crimes that the police department solve quickly?
A. Brief cases.

Q. Why wouldn't the police officer come out from under the sheets?
A. He was arresting.

Q. What do you call a thief that steals everything except your soap and towels?
A. A dirty crook!

Q. How do prison inmates contact friends and family on the outside?
A. They use cell phones.

Two cops in a squad car crash into a tree. One turns to the other and says, "Wow, this is the fastest we've ever gotten to the accident site."

Q. Which four letters really scare a covert thief?
A. O, I, C, U.

Cop: When I pulled you over, I guessed 55.
Matronly Suspect: No sir, it's just my hat that makes me look like that.

Barely legal police pick-up line: I'm a police officer and I'm ready to enforce the laws of attraction!If you run, you'll only go to jail tired!Police pick-up lines for blondes: Did I tell you that I live next door to Dunkin' Donuts?

Q. Why did the blonde hooker join the police force?
A. Because she wanted to work under covers.

Police Pick-Up Line: Please step out of the vehicle, and walk straight into my life!

Q. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
A. For Fingering A Minor.

Q. What do you call a message sent by an incarcerated criminal?
A. Context.

Q. Why was the star basketball player sentenced to prison?
A. Because he shot the ball.

Police Pick-Up Line: Babe, stick with me, and those lights won't be the only thing flashing.

Wurst Legal Joke Ever: People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Q. Why did the grill master enroll at the police academy?
A. Because he enjoyed steak outs.

Police Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, did you know you are on my Most Wanted List?

Q. What is a police officer's favorite day of the week? A. Fine Day!Q. Why did the robber take a bath? A. He wanted to make a clean getaway!Q. why was the pig arrested? A. He was a pig-pocket!

Q. What do you call a sleepy policeman?
A. An undercovers cop.

Q. What excuse did the lens give the police officer?
A. I've been framed!

Q. Which day of the week do crime detectives do their best work?
A. Why Day.

Q. What do you get if you cross a gangster and a garbage man?
A. Organized grime!

Q. How is a sinking ship like a person in jail?
A. Both need to be bailed out!

Q. What do you call a hint that sounds the same as another hint, but is spelled a bit differently?
A. An homonymous tip.

Q. What do you call a cop crocodile wearing a vest?
A. An investigator.

Q. What's another name for a fat, white cop?
A. Porky Pig.

Q. What do Denverites call the cop comedian at Comedy Works who does legal joint jokes?
A. Pig Roast.

Q. What did the judge say to the dentist? A. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?barely legal police pick-up line: Step out of the vehicle and wak a straight line into my life!Barely legal police pick-up line: I always turn on my siren when I spot a siren!

Police Headquarters Groan of the Day: The dentist's alibi was full of holes, so police performed a cavity search. OUCH!

Q. What do you call the security guard at the hospital pharmacy?
A. The Fentanyl Sentinel.

Law A-Biting Joke of the Day: Did you hear about the lawyer who had the nerve to ask his dentist for a retainer?

 

Q. Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence?
A. A convict in prison.

Criminal Pick-Up Line at the Police Station: Hey there, you're just as beautiful as your mugshot photo.

Q. Which kind of police parties do jailbirds like best?
A. Going away parties.

Illegal Pick-Up Line at the Precinct: I'm a thief, so I'm here to steal your heart.

Q. Why did the cemetery cops give the ghost a ticket?
A. It didn't have a haunting license.

Police Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you are just like my donut. You're half sweet and half nuts.

Q. Who is the all-time biggest gangster in the sea?
A. Al Caprawn.

| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns |
| Barely Legal Jokes and Criminal Puns | 2 | Lawyer Jokes | Killer Friday the 13th Humor |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero Puns |
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