Q. What do the cops say when they arrive during your tailgating party?
A. Dish is the Police!

Cop: Why did you dump these vegetables on my desk?
Criminal: Because you said it was time to spill the beans.

Q. What do lawyers call crimes that the police department solve quickly?
A. Brief cases.

Q. Why wouldn't the police officer come out from under the sheets?
A. He was arresting.

Q. What do you call a thief that steals everything except your soap and towels?
A. A dirty crook!

Q. How do prison inmates contact friends and family on the outside?
A. They use cell phones.

Two cops in a squad car crash into a tree. One turns to the other and says, "Wow, this is the fastest we've ever gotten to the accident site."

Q. Which four letters really scare a covert thief?
A. O, I, C, U.

Cop: When I pulled you over, I guessed 55.
Matronly Suspect: No sir, it's just my hat that makes me look like that.

Q. Why did the blonde hooker join the police force?
A. Because she wanted to work under covers.

Police Pick-Up Line: Please step out of the vehicle, and walk straight into my life!

Q. Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
A. For Fingering A Minor.

Q. What do you call a message sent by an incarcerated criminal?
A. Context.

Q. Why was the star basketball player sentenced to prison?
A. Because he shot the ball.

Police Pick-Up Line: Babe, stick with me, and those lights won't be the only thing flashing.

Wurst Legal Joke Ever: People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Q. Why did the grill master enroll at the police academy?
A. Because he enjoyed steak outs.

Police Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, did you know you are on my Most Wanted List?

Q. What do you call a sleepy policeman?
A. An undercovers cop.

Q. What excuse did the lens give the police officer?
A. I've been framed!

Q. Which day of the week do crime detectives do their best work?
A. Why Day.

Q. What do you get if you cross a gangster and a garbage man?
A. Organized grime!

Q. How is a sinking ship like a person in jail?
A. Both need to be bailed out!

Q. What do you call a hint that sounds the same as another hint, but is spelled a bit differently?
A. An homonymous tip.

Q. What do you call a cop crocodile wearing a vest?
A. An investigator.

Q. What's another name for a fat, white cop?
A. Porky Pig.

Q. What do Denverites call the cop comedian at Comedy Works who does legal joint jokes?
A. Pig Roast.

Police Headquarters Groan of the Day: The dentist's alibi was full of holes, so police performed a cavity search. OUCH!

Q. What do you call the security guard at the hospital pharmacy?
A. The Fentanyl Sentinel.

Law A-Biting Joke of the Day: Did you hear about the lawyer who had the nerve to ask his dentist for a retainer?

Q. Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence?
A. A convict in prison.

Criminal Pick-Up Line at the Police Station: Hey there, you're just as beautiful as your mugshot photo.

Q. Which kind of police parties do jailbirds like best?
A. Going away parties.

Illegal Pick-Up Line at the Precinct: I'm a thief, so I'm here to steal your heart.

Q. Why did the cemetery cops give the ghost a ticket?
A. It didn't have a haunting license.

Police Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you are just like my donut. You're half sweet and half nuts.

Q. Who is the all-time biggest gangster in the sea?
A. Al Caprawn.

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