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Did you hear about the clever sleuth ophthalmologist? He closed the lid on this case!
Elementary, My Dear. I AM Sherlock Gnolmes.
The police want to interview me? Strange, I didn't even apply for a job there!
Q. What do you get if you cross Saint Nick and Sherlock Holmes? A. Santa Clues!
Happy Witness-Day!


Police Detective Jokes, Steak Out Puns, Spy Humor
Uncover criminally funny jokes, stake out surveillance humor, and investigate covert cop puns.

Under Cover Jokes, Sleuth Humor, Private Eye Puns
('Cause Detective Jokes ane Clueless Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're Hiding Out From the Fuzz!)
Warning: Proceed with Stealth Caution! Undercover jokes, plain clothes cop humor, and private eye puns ahead.
| Detective Jokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns |
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns | Arresting Jokes | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Gun Jokes, Bullet Puns |
| Barely Legal Jokes and Criminal Puns | 2 | Explosion Jokes and Bomb Puns | Killer Humor |
| Lawyer Jokes | Judge Jokes, Jury Puns, Courtroom Humor | Traffic Jokes | Superhero Puns |

Q. Why was the police officer sleepig on the job? A. He was under cover!Police pick-up lines for blondes: Do you work under cover? Want to plant something on me?Q. Why did the book join the police department? A. He wanted to go undercover!

Q. What did the blonde policewoman wear to the stake out?
A. An underwire bra!

Q. What do you call the guy who sorts out all the confusing info gathered on recon missions?
A. An intel processor.

Q. Why are undercover male cops more sexy than female cops?
A. Because you can't be sexy without the XY.

Old detectives never die. They just go under cover.

Q. Why were the police detectives hanging out at the beach?
A. Because they were expecting a crime wave.

A peep hole has appeared in the ladies locker room at the gym. Police detectives are looking into it.

Q. Why did the blanket salesman join the police force?
A. Because he liked working under cover.

Police Pick-Up Line: Let's go back to my place for some further undercover work.

Q. Why wouldn't the police officer come out from under the sheets?
A. He was arresting.

Q. What do you call a cop crocodile wearing a vest?
A. An investigator.

Detective Hunch of the Day: Did you know Bigfoot works as a cop in Denver? Of course not, he's undercover!

Q. What was the ultimate goal of the police detective duck?
A. He wanted to quack the case!

Did you hear about the carrot detective? It got to the root of every case!If Sherlock Holmes gave friends and family discounts, were they thankful for his deduction?Q. What is a detective's favorite day of the week? A. Why Day!

Q. What did the duck detective say?
A. I have quacked the case!

Q. Which reptile always goes undercover?
A. The investi-gator.

Q. Why did the blonde hooker join the police force?
A. Because she wanted to work under covers.

Q. How long did the young detective lead the investigation?
A. Until a senior detective got on his case.

Q. Which cop always solves crimes purely by accident?
A. Sheer Luck Holmes.

Q. Who makes the best detective: a tax accountant, or Sherlock Holmes?
A. A good tax accountant makes more deductions.

Q. Who was the first technology sleuth?
A. Sherlock Ohms.

Q. What do you call a sleepy policeman?
A. An undercovers cop.

Q. What do you call it when a mean detective mutt follows you around?
A. Being cur-tailed.

Q. What is the proper detective attire for picking up a series of clues?
A. A trail blazer.

Undercover Cop Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, you look cold. Wanna share my blanket?

Q. Who wrote the engaging crime drama book, Cracker Detective Work?
A. Mr. E. Solved.

Barely legal police pick-up line: Let's go to my place for some under cover work!Q. Why can't cows become detectives? A. Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives? A. Because they keep their eyes peeled!

Q. Why did the librarian join the police force?
A. 'Cause he wanted to work under cover.

Q. What do you call a spy who works undercover as a janitor?
A. A sweeper agent.

Q. What do you get when you combine Robert Frost and James Bond?
A. The Road Not Shaken but Stirred.

Q. Was it hard for James Bond to steal secret plans for the new dastardly weapon?
A. No. It was easy as spy.

Q. What do you call a famous fictional spy who makes a ton of movies?
A. A high-yield Bond.

Q. When is an undercover cop in uniform?
A. Only on his day off!

Q. Do old police detectives ever die?
A. Nobody knows, because they're always under cover.

Q. Do old spies ever die?
A. Nobody knows because they leave no trace.

Police State Point to Ponder: Why is its name the Secret Service, if everybody knows about it?

Q. Why did the cops detain the mattress store delivery truck driver that sped by?
A. Because he could blow their cover.

Q. Who can help you if your glass eyeball has gone missing?
A. A private eye!

Q. What is the ultimate car for a rural police detective?
A. A track-tor.

Q. Where is underwater spying reported in France?
A. Paris Scope.

Q. Why did a book join the police department?
A. It wanted to go under cover.

Q. Which plush TV frog was actually a detective?
A. Kermit A. Crime.

Q. What do you call it when one cow spies on another? A. A steak out!If you've left a fingerprint behind, you most certainly have given it a whorl!Q. What do you call it when one bull spies on another? A. A steak out!

Q. What does a mystery writer call a covert toad spy?
A. A croak and dagger agent.

Q. What is it called when you convert a morgue worker into a spy?
A. Turning the Coroner.

Q. How do spies prefer to plant covert listening devices?
A. Snug as a bug.

Q. Which secret agent rodent spy is still unknown?
A. Anon E. Mouse.

Q. Where does a spy sleep?
A. Undercover.

Q. Which kind of books do sleuth owls enjoy?
A. Hoot-dunits.

Q. What happened after all the board games were stolen from the toy store?
A. The police are still looking for Clues.

Q. What is small, has a long tail, and works with police detectives?
A. A gerbil shepherd.

Q. Which two detective brothers lived in a distinctly Bohemian culture?
A. The Arty Boys.

Q. Why did the blonde cops impound the blanket delivery van?
A. They were working under covers.

Q. Why did the Colorado State Patrol recruit the South Park cow?
A. Because she was a natural at udder cover work.

Q. What do you call it when a cow satellite observes Mars?
A. A spaced out steak out.

Q. What do you call a concierge ophthalmologist who helps the police solve crimes?
A. A Private Eye Doctor.

Q. Which teal detective was a stellar crime solver?
A. Duck Tracy.

| Detective Jokes | Traffic Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns |
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Police Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor | Judge Jokes, Courtroom LOLs | Explosive Bomb Puns |
| Denver Cop Puns | Arresting Jokes | Animal Crimie Jokes | Farm Criminal LOLs, Cow Cop Puns |
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns | 2 | Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Puns | Killer Friday 13th LOLs |
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| Traffic Humor | Drunk Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero Puns |
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