Punny Riddle: Q. What happens to illegally parked frogs? A. They get toad away.   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. What do you call it when one cow spies on another? A. A steak out!

Q. What happens if you drop a hand gren-egg? A. It egg-splodes!
Groaner Pun: A bear was hit by an 18-wheeler. It was a grizzly accident.

Q. What do you call a pig that's wrong? A. Mistaken Bacon!
Q. What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg? A. The bombshell!


Animal Crime Jokes, Road Hog Puns, Cow Cop LOLs
Steak out udder-cover cow detective puns, skunk lawyer humor, and arresting monkey jokes.

Critter Cop Jokes and Criminal Animal Humor
(Because Theif Chidken Jokes and Pip-Pocket Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for the Mosquito SWAT Team!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Ham burglar jokes, robber ducky humor, po-lice LOLs and fowl play puns ahead.
| Animal Crime Jokes | Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Monkey Jokes | Animal Pothead Laughs |
| Animal Bar Jokes | Bat Jokes | Owl-ful Puns | Hiss-terical Snake Puns | Kangaroo Humor |
| Bear Puns | Mouse Humor | Rabbit Laughs | Frog Jokes | Spider Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |

A chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. The police suspect fowl play!
A Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.
Q. why was the pig arrested? A. He was a pig-pocket!

Q. How do cops grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. How can you tell a fugitive chicken flew the coop?
A. She's still wearing hen-cuffs!

Q. What does a sneaky criminal chicken spend her time doing?
A. Hatching up a plan.

Q. Which kind of books do sleuth owls enjoy?
A. Hoot-dunits.

Q. What did the owl say to the judge?
A. I'm talon you, I am innocent.

Q. Why was the parrot in prison?
A. Because he was a jail bird.

Q. Why didn't the jail bird think he'd be a suspect for the latest crime?
A. Because he was flying under the radar.

Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla and an inmate?
A. A Kong-vict.

Q. Where did the habitual criminal chimp to his jail time?
A. Behind monkey bars.

Q. What did Bigfoot do after he retired from the Colorado Springs Police Department?
A. He became a Night Squatchman.

Detective Hunch of the Day: Did you know Bigfoot works as a cop in Denver? Of course not, he's undercover!

Q. Why won't you ever catch sight of a sasquatch on Lookout Mountain?
A. Jeffco Sheriff's Office is looking into that.

Q. Why was the fowl chicken criminal released from jail on her personal recognizance?
A. 'Cause she wasn't a flight risk.

Q. Where are habitual criminal pigs sent?
A. To the Pen.

Q. Why did the cops pull over a pig?
A. Because he was a road hog!

Q. What do non-vegans call a police officer in a sleeping bag?
A. Pig in a blanket.

Q. What's another name for a fat, white cop?
A. Porky Pig.

Q. What happened to the thief who stole a baby kangaroo?
A. Aussie police arrested him for being a pickpocket.

Q. What do you call a marsupial lawyer?
A. A kanga-sue.

Q. Why didn't the circling turkey vulture think he'd be arrested for the crime?
A. Because he was above suspicion.

Q. What Did the Judge Say When a Skunk Walked In to Testify? A. Odor in the Court!
Who do you call when mosquitoes attack? A. The SWAT team!
Owner of a threatening bull was arrested. He was brought up on charges.

Q. What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Lexus full of lawyers?
A. The pricks are on the outside of the porcupine.

Q. Why didn't the goose in Denver think he'd be a suspect in the Wash Park crime?
A. Because he thought his shit don't stink.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A. One is a slimy scum-sucking bottom feeder. The other is a fish.

Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Q. Why did the dishonest bee banker go to prison?
A. Embuzzlement!

Q. Which kind of spider has natural criminal tendencies?
A. Baddy Long Legs.

Q. Why did the dung beetle become a crime reporter?
A. He was used to digging up a lot of sh*t.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A. One is a blood-sucking parasite; the other is an insect.

Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Q. Why did the Colorado State Patrol recruit the South Park cow?
A. Because she was a natural at udder cover work.

Q. What did the cow detective wear to the stake out?
A. An udder-wire bra!

Q. Why did the bull cop pull over the U-Haul?
A. He wanted to bust a moo-ve.

Q. How do armed robber cows travel away from the scene of the crime?
A. They take the bullet train.

Q. Why did a cop pull the vampire bat over?
A. He was a suspect in a blood bank robbery.

Q. Why didn't the red tailed hawk believe he'd be busted for the crime?
A. Because he was above it all.

Q. Why can't cows become detectives? A. Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Q. Why was the Energizer bunny arrested? A. He was charged with battery!
Q. What do you call it when one bull spies on another? A. A steak out!

Q. What do you call a cop crocodile wearing a bulletproof jacket?
A. An in-vest-a-gator.

Q. Why were the penguin police detectives hanging out at the beach?
A. Because they were expecting a crime wave.

Q. Which plush TV frog criminal was actually an undercover detective?
A. Kermit A. Crime.

Q. What's the difference between lawyers and a herd of bison?
A. Lawyers charge more.

Judge: Why did you steal that bird?
Defendant: It was just a lark.

Q. What do you call it when a mean detective mutt follows you around?
A. Being cur-tailed.

Q. What did the beaver say when he was falsely accused by the dam cops?
A. Hey, it was the otter guy!

Police were investigating a feline corpse that was found in a Xerox machine. They're calling it a copy cat killing.

Q. What is small, has a long tail, and works with police detectives?
A. A gerbil shepherd.

Q. Which secret agent rodent spy is still unknown?
A. Anon E. Mouse.

Q. What do you call it when a cow satellite observes Mars?
A. A spaced out steak out.

Steak Out Hookup Line: Let's go back to my place for some further udder-cover work.

Q. Which kind of serpant is a snitch for the cops?
A. A snake in the grass.

Q. Why did the snake rob a pawn shop?
A. 'Cause it wanted its diamondback.

Q. Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?
A. Al Caprawn.

Q. Which kind of criminal do you gett if you cross a baby chick and an alley cat?
A. A Peeping Tom.

Q. what do you call an officer with bugs? A. Po-Lice!
Q. What is it called when a sheep rustler escapes from jail? A. On the Lam
Q. What do you call a pig thief? A. A Hamburglar!

Q. How is attending a Bar Association meeting like going to a bait shop?
A. There is an abundance of worms, maggots, nightcrawlers, and suckers.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A. The leech stops sucking your blood after you're dead.

Q. Which hired killer never gets a prison sentence?
A. An exterminator

Q. Which animal has an asshole halfway up his back?
A. A police horse.

Q. Who were the most legendary horse thieves?
A. Bonnie and Clydesdale.

Q. Why did the lamb call the police?
A. He'd been fleeced!

Q. Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?
A. Because she whipped a ewe turn.

Q. Why did the cop ticket the sheep?
A. Because she was a really baaad driver.

Q. What do you call it if a criminal is being fed awful sheep meat while in jail?
A. Mutton for punishment.

Q. Which animal always has an alibi?
A. An escape goat.

Q. Why didn't the pigeon think he'd get arrested for committing the crime?
A. Because he was wasn't a jail bird.

Q. Why was the pig serving time in jail?
A. For being a swine-dler.

Q. Where do hog criminals do hard time?
A. At the pig pen.

Q. Why did the cops arrest a Mallard duck?
A. He was suspected of being the infamous Robber Ducky.

Q. Why didn't the sassy crow think he'd get busted for the crime?
A. Because he was flying under the radar.

Q. What does a frog use to deter slimy burglars?
A. A Lily-pad-lock.

Q. Which reptile law enforcer always goes undercover?
A. The investi-gator.

Q. What did the secret agent cow ask the other cow? A. Are you udder cover?
Q. Where do cows get their weapons? A. At ar-moo-ries!
Stinking Funny Pun: Q. What did the judge say when skunks walked into court? A. Good morning, lawyers.

Q. How do spies prefer to plant covert listening devices?
A. Snug as a bug.

Q. What does a mystery writer call a covert toad spy?
A. A croak and dagger agent.

Q. What did the duck detective say?
A. I have quacked the case!

Q. Why did the cops give a ticket to the chicken who pecked her way across the road?
A. For exceeding the feed limit.

Q. Why was the turkey back in prison? A. Because he was a jail bird.

Q. Which police unit responds when terrorist mosquitoes attack?
A. The SWAT Team!

Q. Which sport entails rounding up and stealing cattle as a form of dramatic entertainment?
A. Professional rustling.

Q. What happens if an outlaw chicken eats gunpowder?
A. She lays hen-gren-eggs.

Q. Why did the janitor call DPD to Coors Field during the Rockies game?
A. Somebody was selling Rocky Mountain Oysters in the stands, and he didn't want to clean up all the vomit after the balls dropped.

Q. Why was the little rubber duck arrested by the park police?
A. He was a bird-lery suspect.

Q. What was the ultimate goal of the police detective duck?
A. He wanted to quack the case!\

Q. Which dirty bird stole all the soap?
A. The robber ducky !

Q. Why did the lawyer call the grizzly to the stand?
A. So he could bear witness.

Q. What is the difference between a lady lawyer and a pitbull?
A. The pitbull looks good in lipstick.

Q. What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. A doberman pinscher.

Q. What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A. One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a jellyfish.

Q. What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
A. Lawyers have removable wingtips.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

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