Q. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? A. They kept running around going: "Bach Bach Back!"   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Sheep Jokes, Ovine Humor, Woolly Funny Puns
Shear humor, ram-bunctious laughs, sheepish grins, baaad sheep puns and un-ewes-ual jokes.

Lamb Jokes, Ewe Puns, Sheepish Humor
(Because the Wool Wide Web Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Hipster Sheep, Mutton Lovers, or Ewe Rams Fans!)
Warning: Sheep Present. Watch Where Ewe Walk! The sheepdog says the smell isn't the woolly painful thing here.
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Q. What do you get if you cross a lamb and a rocket? A. Space Sheep!Q. What is it called when a female sheep flips around? A. A Ewe TurnQ. What kind of music do sheep like? A. Baach!

Q. What do sheep wear at work?
A. Ewe-niforms.

Q. What do you call a sheep out in the rain?
A. A wet blanket.

Q. What does an ambitious sheep want?
A. To wool the world.

Q. Why was the lamb arrested on the freeway?
A. Because she did a ewe turn.

Q. Where does a ram get a stylish trim?
A. At the baa-baa shop.

Q. What is it called when you populate an empty meadow with a heard of male sheep?
A. Ram-ification.

Q. What do you call a sheep who likes to tell jokes?
A. A Ewe-morist.

Q. What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A. A Lamborghini.

Q. What is a sheep's favorite song?
A. I've Got Plenty of Mutton.

Q. What do you get if you cross a goat and a lamb?
A. An animal that eats tin cans and gives back steel wool.

Q. What happened after a sheep stepped on broken glass?
A. The vet stopped by to stop the bleating.

Q. Which bands do sheep like dancing to?
A. Ewe 2 and Ewe B 40.

Q. What is a sheep's favorite pop group?
A. The Pet Sheep Boys.

Q. If dogs have fleas, what do sheep have?
A. Fleece!

Q. What's a sheep's favorite newspaper?
A. The Wool Street Journal.

Q. What did the hard of hearing barber say to the ram?
A. Sorry, I can't shear you...

Q. What did the ram say when his wife really hoped for something?
A. Ewe wish!

Mischievous Lambs Post Wooly Funny Videos on Ewe TubeQ. Which farm animal turns into a superhero at night? A. This sheep is Baaman!Q. What is it called when a sheep rustler escapes from jail? A. On the Lam

Q. Where do sheep go on vacation?
A. The Baa-hamas.

Q. Which side of a sheep has the most fleece?
A. The outside.

Q. What does a sheep sing to you on the your special day?
A. Happy Birthday to Ewe.

Q. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A. A Wooly Good Jumper.

Sheepish Hookup Line: Hey, ewe wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch!

Q. Which sheep is strong enough to hold up the world?
A. Herc-ewe-les!

Q. Why did the cop ticket the sheep?
A. Because she was a really baaad driver.

Q. What do you get if you cross a gnu and a sheep?
A. A new ewe!

Q. What do you get if you cross a sheep and a hedgehog?
A. An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Ovine Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are ewe a sheep? 'Cause your body is unbaalievable.

Q. Where are newborn lambs kept?
A. In an inc-ewe-bator.

Q. What do you call a sheep that's always quiet?
A. A Sssshhheep.

Q. What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A. An animal in a really baaaaad mooood!

Q. What do you get if you cross a sheep and an octopus?
A. A sweater with eight arms.

Baad Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, If you were a sheep, I would clone you.

Sheep Says to a Leopard: Caturday is not for the meek!Sheep Joke: When I finally figured out the secret to cloning, I was beside myself.Q. Which fruit do sheep enjoy most? A. Baaaa-nanas!

Q. What did one sheep say to another?
A. I love ewe!

Q. What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
A. A cloud.

Q. What did the farmer say when his pet sheep threw up?

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. A Candy Baa.

Q. What has fleece and fangs?
A. Drac-ewe-la!

Q. Where do sheep get shorn?
A. At the baa baa shop.

Q. Where do sheep take a nice soak?
A. In a baa-th tub.

Did you hear about the blonde who decided to become a sheep farmer? She planted them too close together.

Q. What lives under water and bleats at ships?
A. A ewe-boat.

Q. Where do sheep go on holiday?
A. Baali.

Q. How do sheep always sign greeting cards?
A. I Love Ewe!

Q. How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs!Ram says: Have you heard the story about a hill in Colorado? I just couldn't get over it!Q. How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb? A. The light is fine as it is!

Q. How do sheep stay warm during the winter?
A. With central bleating!

Q. What do you call it if a criminal is being fed awful sheep meat while in jail?
A. Mutton for punishment.

Q. Which fraternity has the most sheep?
A. Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Q. Which actress makes money on the side by managing multiple cow and sheep enclosures?
A. Stockyard Channing.

Q. Which trophy was awarded to the tabloid journalist who exposed illegal trade in mutton?
A. The Wool-itzer Prize.

Sheepish Chat Up Line: Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put ewe and I together.

Q. Why did the ram fall of the cliff?
A. He didn't see the ewe turn!

Q. What has fleece and big muscles?
A. Rambo.

Q. What did the ram friends who enjoyed head banging call each other?
A. Best butties.

Q. How do sheep fall asleep?
A. By counting humans.

Did you hear about the accountant who counted sheep in bed? He made a miscount in the first hour and stayed awake all night trying to figure it out.

Q. Which vehicle does a contractor sheep drive?
A. Dodge Ram.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep with a wolf?
A. A woolf.

Q. What does a polite sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
A. After ewe.

Q. What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?
A. A sheep that's under the weather.

Q. Why did the lamb call the police?
A. He'd been fleeced!

Q. Who is a sheep's favorite singer?
A. Baabaa Streisand.

Q. Which brand of appliances do sheep prefer?
A. Wool-Pool.

Q. What did the sheep say when she found a penny on the street?
A. That's better than mutton!

Q. Which animal always has an alibi?
A. An escape goat.

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