Q. Why do horses fart when they buck? A. Because they can't acheive full horse power without gas!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. What do pigs call the creatoin of the universe A. The Pig Bang!
Q. Why did this chicken cross the road? A. Because she's an independent female flightless bird!
Bull asks: Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull dragged him more than a mile!
Q. Which day of the week does a chicken dread most? A. Fry-Day!
Q. Which part of math does a cow enjoy most? A. Mootiplication!

 


Farm Animal Jokes and Farming Humor
Round up cross chicken jokes, horsey humor, porcine puns and crappy cow jokes – no bull!

Poultry Puns, Moo-ving Jokes, Horsing Around
('Cause City Jokes and Uber Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Hipster Farmers, Plucky Ducks, and Clucky Chickens!)
Warning: Acres of Farm Animals Ahead. Watch Where You Trod! Road apples aren't the most painful thing here.
| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Farmer Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Goose Jokes, Duck Puns | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns |
| Horse Jokes | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animal Puns |

Q. How does a cowboy get his horse to do odd jobs around the ranch? A. He pays hin under the stable!Star Trek Humor: Why did the chicken cross the road? Insufficient Information! – ComputerWhy Did the Farmer Quit? His celery wasn't high enough!

Q. What do you call a noisy horse?
A. A herd animal!

Q. What's the difference between a horse and the weather?
A. One is reined up, and the other rains down.

Q. What did the horse say when it fell?
A. I've fallen and I can't giddyup!

Q. Why did the scum bag owner name his race horse My Face?
A. He wanted to hear the crowd cheer, "Come On, My Face!"

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, are your hooves sore? 'Cause you've been galloping through my dreams all night long.

Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
A. Poultry in motion!

Q. Why didn't the schizophrenic chicken cross the road?
A. He couldn't make up his mind.

Q. What do you call it when a whole henhouse of chickens plays hide and seek?
A. Fowl Play.

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To see the neigh-bor.

Q. What do you call the leader of the flock of marauding crows?
A. Branch manager.

Q. What do you get if you cross a robot and a tractor?
A. A Trans-farmer!

Q. Which vegetable might you find in a farmhouse basement?
A. Cellar-y.

Did you hear about a farmer who tried saving money by inventing a pig-powered tractor? He had to scrap the idea because every time he turned a corner, the tires squealed.

Q. Why did corn wrongly get sent to jail?
A. For stalking the sweet peas.

Pick Up a Farmer Line: Hey big fella, Is your name John Deere? 'Cause I'm totally a-tractored to ya'll.

Q. Why was teh rancher arrested at the gym? A. He was hurting his calves!Q. How do you fit more pigs on a farm? A. Build a styscraper!Q. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? A. Because the cow has the udder!

Q. What is a farmer's favorite Bruce Springsteen song?
A. Born in the USDA.

Q. What does a farmer name his cow?
A. Pat.

Q. Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick?
A. The pharmacist!

Q. Why do cows like to ski at Aspen?
A. Because of all the moo-guls.

Q. Which US president is a pig's favorite?
A. AbraHAM Lincoln!

Q. Why was the pig serving time in jail?
A. For being a swine-dler.

Q. Which kind of social gatherings do pigs like the most?
A. Sow-prise parties!

Q. Why was the pigs so proud of their new home?
A. Because it was quite stylish!

Q. What do you call a cow who has just given birth?
A. De-calfinated.

Q. Where do baby cows grab a quick lunch?
A. At the calf-ateria.

Q. Why was it so hard to brush the heifer's hair?
A. She had a bad cow lick!

Q. What happens when you talk to a cow?
A. It goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a centipede? A. Drumsticks for a crowd!Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!Q. Why was the pig ejected from the football game? A. For Playing Dirty!

Q. What do you get if you cross chic fashion doll with a grill?
A. Barbie Q Chicken.

Q. How do you grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. Who does a chicken farmer call if he thinks his henhouse is haunted?
A. An egg-sorcist.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a cement mixer?
A. A brick layer.

Q. What do you call a gaggle of geese playing hide 'n seek?
A. Fowl play.

Q. What do you call acne on a gosling?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. Why did the goose bring toilet paper to the celebration?
A. He was a real party pooper.

Q. What does a goose say when a duck is in the vee flight path?
A. What the duck?

Q. What do you call an extremely sly football play run by a pig?
A. Cunningham.

Q. Why did the pig cross the road?
A. Because he was boared.

Q. Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road?
A. Because he was a slow pork!

Q. Why did the farmer have his pigs do menial labor?
A. Because that's grunt work.

Q. What do you call it when one cow spies on another? A. A steak out!Q. What do you call a promiscuous pony? A. A little whorse!Q. Where do cows get their weapons? A. At ar-moo-ries!

Q. What is a steak pun?
A. A medium where anything well done is rare!

Q. Why are steaks so happy at barbeques?
A. They get to meet all their old flames.

Q. What does a good beef steak have in common with sex?
A. They're both very rare.

Q. What is a cow's favorite soft drink?
A. Mountain Moo.

Q. What do you call bovine leather that's been enhanced with metal for added strength?
A. Iron ox-hide.

Did you hear about the horse with a negative attitude? She always said, "Neigh."

Q. What kind of horse loves Friday the 13th?
A. A Nightmare!

Q. When does a horse talk?
A. Whinny wants to!

Q. Where do horses get their hair done?
A. Maine.

Q. Where do horses go when they're sick?
A. To the horse-pital!

Horse Come-On Line: Hay girl, I'd like to have a stable relationship with you!

Q. What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A. A Cattle Battle.

Q. Why was the cow so afraid?
A. She was a cow herd.

Q. Why was the psychic cow so hard to find?
A. She was a medium rare.

Did you hear about the blonde who died with a bow and arrow in her hands? Apparently, she hit the bull's eye.

Q. Why do all cows and bulls have hooves instead of feet?
A. Because they lactose.

| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Farmer Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Goose Jokes, Duck Puns | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns |
| Horse Jokes | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animal Puns |


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You've mucked around this far, so round up even more horsey humor,
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