Q. What does a Colorado rancher call bad directions from a bull?
A. A bum steer.

Q. What do you call a bull who gives no milk?
A. Really pissed off.

Q. Why do bulls like Painful cow Puns?
A. They like being a-moosed.

Cow Chat Up Line: Hey gal, I saw how you handled that mechanical bull, so I want to let you know you can straddle me any time.

The new neighbor walked up to the dairy farmer with a jug of milk saying, "I just milked your cow." The astounded farmer replied, "Um, that's a bull!"

Q. What is a great name for a prize-winning bull?
A. Chuck.

Bull Pick-Up Line: Cow you doin'?

Q. What is the definition of derange?
A. Where de bullshiet runs wild.

Q. What kind of car does a Texas cattle baron's champion bull drive?
A. A Cattle-ac.

Q. How do bulls drive cars?
A. They just steer them.

Bull-oney Point to Ponder: If a baby pig is called a piglet, is a young bull called a bullet?

Q. What do bulls suffer from when they're sick?
A. Hay Fever.

Q. Why are bulls such gifted dancers?
A. They're born hoofers.

Q. How can you tell which bull is the best dancer?
A. You have to wait until he busts a moove.

Q. Which South American dance cause bulls and cattle to hoof it?
A. The Rumpa!

Q. What classic rock band is a favorite of bulls and cows?
A. Moo-dy Blues.

Q. How do you describe a very fit bull that goes to the gym?
A. Beefy.

Q. What is a dancing stripper bull called?
A. Beefcake.

Q. What do you call a bull that pleasures himself?
A. Beef-Strokin'-Off!

Q. How does a Wall Street broker define laughing stock?
A. Bulls with a sense of humor.

Did you hear about the blonde who died with a bow and arrow in her hands? Apparently, she hit the bull's eye.

Q. Where can bulls find a gallery of cows?
A. At an art moo-seum.

Bag of fertilizer walks into a bar. Bartender says, "You can come in, but don't give me any bullsh*t."

Cow Pick-Up Line: Hay Elsie, can I place this cowbell around your neck? 'Cause I want to follow you forever.

Q. Where does a bull carry his stock market report?
A. In his beef case.

Q. Why does the bull have to wear a bell around his neck?
A. Because his horns don't work.

Q. Where do bulls buy their stuff?
A. From a cattle-log.

Q. What do all the she cows call a really strong bull?
A. Beef He.

Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have dragged him a mile! Yes, the bull was really quite testy.

Q. What happens if a bull laughs too hard?
A. He cow-lapses!

Bullish Pick-Up Line: Hey Bessie, I have a major horn on for you.

Bull Pick-Up Poetry: Roses are red, violets are blue, with you in my head, this cow goes moooo.

Q. What do you get if you cross a lawyer and a cow pie?
A. Expensive Bullshit.

Q. How does a bull become virtually invisible?
A. He uses camooflage.

Today's Bull Ssh*t Point to Ponder:
Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef?

Q. Where do USDA bulls go to vacation?
A. Moontana and Cowlifornia.

Q. Where do USDA bulls like to retire?
A. St. Moois, Moosouri, or Moo Jersey.

Milky Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, have you ever milked a cow before? 'Cause your gonna need a bucket for this too.

Q. What do weightlifting bulls have for dessert?
A. Beefcake!

Q. What does the Queen of England call a bull wearing a suit of armor?
A. Sir Loin.

Q. Is eating cow patties the miracle cure for human digestive ailments?
A. No. It's just another load of bullshit.

Q. Why was the farmer arguing with the pushy fertilizer salesman?
A. 'Cause there was only so much bullshit he was willing to take.

Q. Which publication causes a monthly bull stampede to the moos stand?
A. Cosmoopolitan magazine.

Q. Why did the janitor call DPD to Coors Field during the Rockies game?
A. Somebody was selling Rocky Mountain Oysters in the stands, and he didn't want to clean up all the vomit after the balls dropped.

Bull Pick-Up Line: Hay Bessie, my love for you is as crazy as mad cow disease.

Q. Who wrote the book about bull tattoos?
A. Brandon Cows.

Q. How do bulls talk to each other?
A. They cow-municate.

Q. What happened after a blonde put Red Bull in the hummingbird feeder?
A. She saw a bird actually travel back in time.

Q. What sound does it make when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
A. Cow Boom!

Q. What was that bull doing in the pasture with his eyes shut?
A. Bull Dozing!

Q. What do you get from a cowmedian?
A. Cream of Wit and lots of bullcrap.

Q. What do you call a cattle herd that's masturbating?
A. Beef Strokin' Off.

Q. Which bulls wear the biggest shoes?
A. The Chicago Bulls.

Q. Why are cattle naturally great baseball players?
A. 'Cause there's a bullpen there.

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