What is a garden slug?
A. A snail with a housing problem.
How do garden slugs communicate with each other?
A. They use snail mail.
What do frogs order at French restaurants?
Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger
There's a worm on my plate.
Waiter: Yes sir, you ordered the wurst.
Which kind of fast food do bees like best?
Which fast food side dish do mice like to order?
A. Cheese fries.
Gardening Point to Ponder: If I bought an ant farm, where
would I find a tractor that small?
How does a snake invite visitors to his garden?
A. Every Birdie's Welcome!
Why did a squirrel disassemble the classic car?
A. To get to the nuts and bolts.
What do you get if you cross a spider and a tree squirrel?
A. A pest that runs up your leg to eat your nuts!
Why don't backyard squirrels have very many friends?
A. Because they drive everybody nuts.
How do you catch a squirrel?
A. Just climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Why was the squirrel so stressed out?
A. Because he spent so much time out on a limb.
Why did a squirrel swim across the stream on his back?
A. He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Fauna Come-On: Hey baby,
I wish you and I were squirrels, so I could bust a nut in
How do you know if you're suffering from a mole problem?
A. They're giving out confidential information to other
What is a stag's favorite part of gardening?
A. Getting down and dirty with his hoes.
What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A. Global Worming.
What did the spring robin say to the early worm?
A. I'll catch cha later...
What's inside an apple that is an avid reader?
A. A bookworm.
Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
A. Because it was a moth ball.
What is a gardener's least fave British Invasion tribute
A. The Japanese Beetles!
Point to Ponder: What do you call a male ladybug?
Which kind of insect takes a lot of pictures?
A. A Shutterbug.
What do fireflies eat?
A. Light snacks.
What do you call a dead hornet?
A. A was.
Pick-Up Line: Hey girly,
are you a termite? 'Cause you're about to get a mouth full