Q. Why don't gnomes tell good gardening jokes?
A. Because they're too dirty.

Q. Why are garden gnomes always smiling?
A. Because the grass is tickling their balls!

Midnight Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, let's make like gnomes and wake up in the front lawn.

Q. What did the leaves say to the garden gnome?
A. Blow me!

Gnome Hookup Line: Hey Gnirl, by the way, my roses aren't the only thorny thing with a long stem.

Did you hear about the clever gnomes that opened an innovative gardening supply store? They sell cutting-hedge technology.

Q. Why are some garden gnomes R-rated?
A. Because they're into insects and violets.

Garden Gnome Point to Ponder: If a crack develops in your backyard, are you at fault?

Gnome Come-On: Hey Gnirl, is your name Daisy? 'Cause I want to plant you right here.

Did you hear about the guy who stole an expensive gnome from the garden center, turned the corner, and ran into a female security guard? It was a huge bust.

Q. What happened when the gnome comedian told his best gardening joke?
A. The audience soiled themselves.

Q. What do you call the terminology used to describe various tacky lawn ornaments?
A. Gnomenclature.

Garden Pixie Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, I'm sexy and I gnome it!

Pick Up a Garden Gnome Line: Hey shorty, I'll trade you my melons for your cucumber.

Q. Why was the gnome gardener so embarrassed?
A. Because he wet his plants.

Q. Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
A. Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!

Pick Up a Garden Gnome Line: Hey fella, how big does your non-GMO zucchini grow?

Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey Gnirl, those are quite the melons you have there.

Q. What did the gnome think when flowers without heads mysteriously appeared in the garden every night?
A. He thought he must be being stalked.

Gardening Point to Ponder: They say manure is good for tomatoes, but gnomes gnow that totally ruins the sandwich.

Q. Why do so many gnomes hang out in Satan's garden?
A. Because they have one hell of a good time there.

Q. What does a gnome call a lawn decoration with a naked lady on it?
A. A lawn whorenament.

Gnome On the Midnight Prowl Line: Hey girl, your garden bed, or mine?

Gnome Point to Ponder: Everyday, somebody anonymously adds more dirt on top of the garden. The plot thiickens...

Pick Up a Garden Gnome Line: Hey man, do these plums feel ripe to you?

Q. Why didn't the gnomes have a fungus farm in their backyard?
A. Because there wasn't mushroom.

Pick Up a Garden Gnome Line: Hey little man, is your name Lief? 'Cause I'd like to to blow you.

Q. What do gnomes call it when their patio is covered in water fowl?
A. A porch o-geese.

Pick Up a Garden Gnome Line: Hey guy, speaking of raised beds...

Gnome Gardening Wisdom of the Day: They say cow manure comes from males. But, that's bullshit!

Q. What does a garden gnome call small landscape rocks?
A. Mini-rals.

Q. Why are there so many leprechaun florists?
A. Because they have green thumbs.

Pick Up a Garden Gnome Line: Hey there, is your name Bud?

Gnome Garden Factoid of the Day: Your grass cannot be three feet tall, because then it would be a yard!

Gnome Hookup Line: Hey Gnirl, I'd like to make you part of my backyard bounty.

Q. How do you explain it when you're cleaning a garden statue and break off its nose?
A. You just didn't gnome your own strength.

Q. What did the guy say when he was cleaning his garden statue and broke off part of its face?
A. I guess eye don't gnome my own strength.

Gnome Hookup Line: Hey Gnirl, your rosebush, or mine?

Gnome Pick Up Poetry in Motion: Roses are red, Lilies are white, weed make a great couple, you know I'm sow right.

Q. How can you tell a horny gnome has been using your lawn mower?
A. Your astro-turf welcome mat has been trimmed into a come mat.

Gnome Hookup Line: Hey Gnirl, wanna reap the fruits of my harvest?

Did you hear about the urban gnome that was afraid of gardening? He moved to the burbs and then he grew a pear.

Gnome Come-On: Hey Gnirl, if you got to gnome me, I'd plant my seed in your garden.

Gnome Hookup Line: Hey Gnirl, what would you say about a little foraging in my woods?

Q. What do you call it when you see a gnome at large escaping over a garden wall?
A. A little con descending.

Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, if I had a rose for every time I thought about you, I'd be even more thorny!

Q. What did the gnomes say when their garden was invaded by hedgehogs?
A. Those pricks!

Likely to Fail Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, to me bouquet is just a metaphor for orgy!

Garden Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey Gnirl, are you a honey bee? 'Cause you just stung my heart.

Q. What did the hippie gnome plant in his backyard garden?
A. Some sweet peas.

Poetic Gnome Pick Up Line: Roses are red, daffodils are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?

Gnome Point to Ponder: If gnomes are having sex in the garden, does that make it a boneyard?

Garden Gnome Come-On: Hey Gnirl, if you were a tomato, I'd just eat you up.

Garden Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, how'd you like to help me germinate my seed?

Q. What did the backyard gnome call the happy man wearing green jeans in the garden?
A. The Jolly Green Giant.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing a broken garden gnome statue? The robbery was a bust.

Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, life is a garden, so why not just dig it?

Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey Gnirl, what's your peak harvest date?

Q. What is the last thing a hard-working gardener gnome does?
A. He leaves.

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