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Hulk Asks: What is a great name for a gardener? A. Alonso Greene!
What kind of socks do you need to plant garlic? Garden hose!
Q. why did a gardener plant a light bulb? A. He wanted to grow a power plant!
Q. What do you call a dispute over young flowers? A. A budding war!

 


Blooming Funny Gardening Puns and Plant Jokes
Reap a bumper crop of gardener jokes, lowly lawn laughs, garden grins and seedy plant puns.

Garden Jokes, Green Puns, Gardener Humor
(Because Green Thumb Puns and Seedy Humor Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Serious Gardeners!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Gardening jokes, green humor, seedy laughs and weedy funny puns ahead.
| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Flower Jokes and Florist Pun | Lawn Mower Jokes and Sod Puns | Tree Jokes and Pine Puns |
| Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Animal Poop Puns | Bear Jokes | Insect Jokes | Rodent Jokes | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns |

Q. Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes? A. Because they were too corny!Q. How do crazy people go through the woods? A. They take the psycho path.Q. What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A. A Fence!

Q. What do you call a grumpy, short-tempered gardener?
A. A Snap Dragon.

Garden Rap of the Day: Sedges, like hedges have edges. Grasses, like asses, have holes...

Q. Which type of garden flower sounds like it was recently on the losing end of a fight?
A. The Black-Eyed Susan.

Q. What did the garden landscape guy say when he got paid in cash money?
A. Thank you very mulch!

Garden Factoid: After winter, all the trees are both relieved and releafed!

Q. What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A. A rash of good luck.

Q. What is a tree's least favorite month of the year?
A. Sep-timber!

Q. Why did the guy stop using his machete to clear his way through his jungle garden?
A. Because he couldn't hack it.

Q. Why did the gardener need a cork?
A.  His garden sprung a leek!

Gardening Laugh of the Day: The neighbor kid asked to borrow my lawn mower, so I said: "Sure, but you can't take it out of my yard."

Q. Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
A. It's acorny one!

Q. Why did the guy start a gardening service in October?
A. 'Cause he wanted to rake in some cash.

What do you call young married spiders? Newly WebsQ. Why did the tomato turn red? A. Because it saw the the salad dressing.Garden Gnomenclature: Gnomes & Gnomettes

Q. Why did the gardener have to wear sunglasses?
A. Because she grew sunflowers!

Q. Why do spiders make good baseball players?
A. Because they know how to catch flies.

Q. Why is the body of that plant considered vulgar?
A. Because it's a thallic symbol.

Q. Why couldn't the botanist see well without glasses?
A. Due to a-stigma-tism.

Q. Why did the tomato and the corn fall in love?
A. Mr. Mato whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

Q. Why was the pole bean arrested?
A. It was caught stalking the tomato.

Q. Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
A. He had a really long Honeydew list.

Retro Hippie Gardener Thought of the Day: Bean thinking how up-beet I yam about all the growing peas and love, man.

Q. Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike?
A. Because it lost its pedals.

Q. What do you call a cow eating grass? A. Lawn Moo-erQ. What kind of tree do fingers grow on? A. A Palm TreeWhat do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fun-Gi

Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells, and don't work half the time.

Q. Which beer do smart botanists prefer?
A. Budweiser!

Q. What do you call a garden veggie in the basement?
A. Cellar-y.

Q. What happened after the tree got engaged?
A. She wanted to show off her ring.

The winter was difficult on the trees, but in the spring they were re-leafed.

Q. How can you tell if a tree is a Dogwood?
A. By its bark!

Q. Why do toadstools typically live so close together?
A. Because they don't need mushroom.

Q. How do botanists catch bartenders?
A. With barbates.

Q. What did the agitated garden soil say during the rain storm?
A. If this keeps up, I'll be mud!

Gnome Sweat! We're here to move that planter.What is the difference between spinach & boogers? Kids won't eat spinach.Gnoming Green: Gnome & Hulk Before and After

Q. How can you tell your landscape tree guy is happy?
A. He's looking very chipper.

Q. What did the big garden flower say to the small flower?
A. What's up, bud?

Q. Why was the little pine tree in trouble?
A. It was being knotty.

Q. Which song does a cattleman sing when he turns the rich soil in his pasture?
A. Loam On The Range.

Q. What is a marsh botanist's favorite movie?
A. Bog to the Future!

Q. What does the Green Giant wear when he goes to a corporate board meeting?
A. A three peas suit.

Q. What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?
A. May the Forrest Be With You.

Q. Why didn't the angry farmer divorce his wife when she traded their prize milking cow for a book of poetry?
A. Because he vowed to love her for butter or verse.

I caught these potatoes smoking weed. One could say that they're baked potatoes.

Q. What did the petunia say to the weed growing beside it?
A. Move over, Bud!

Q. Why did the guy quit his job making furniture out of plants?
A. Because it was no bed of roses.

Q. What happened to the hay farm that was struggling with debt?
A. It had to be baled out.

| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Flower Jokes and Florist Pun | Lawn Mower Jokes and Sod Puns | Tree Jokes and Pine Puns |

| Garden Gnome Jokes | Lost Gnome Jokes | Creepy Garden Gnome Puns | Mobile Gnome Jokes |
| Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Puns | Lemon Puns | Orange Puns | Strawberry Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Bear Jokes | Insect Jokes | Rodent Jokes | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns |
| Big Bigfoot Laughs | Deer Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | Donkey Jokes | Wildlife Animal Jokes |


PainfulPuns Home
You're still growing strong, so here's more budding laughter, seedy jokes,
sunny humor and crappy painful puns that'll make your garden groan:

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| Science Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Woman Jokes |

Cheesy Puns & Sharp HumorEdible Puns, Fun with Food Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Gnome Puns Intended Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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