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Q. What is

A. Pumpkin.


Q. What is the
left side
of a pumpkin
pie called?

A. The part
you didn't eat.


Q. Why don't jack-o-
lanterns like
pumpkin pie?

A. 'Cause
they're not


Pumpkin Jokes, Gourd Puns, Squash Humor
Boo-gie on with gourd-geous fall puns, pumpkin pie humor, and jacked up jack-o-lantern jokes.

Jack-O-Lantern Jokes, Smashing Pumpkin Puns
('Cause Halloween Jack-O-Lantern Jokes and Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Pumpkin patch jokes, pumped up gourd humor, and plumpkin pi puns ahead.
| Pumpkin Puns, Jack-O-Lantern Jokes | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Halloween Music |
| Scary Funny Puns | Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | Scary Witch |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Drinks | Frightful Food | Scary Fun | Spooky Sports | Frightful Fashion | Scary Dentist |

A farmer enjoys gazing at his pumkin patch becuase it's so gourd-geous!

Q. Where
do pumpkins

A. On the
seedy side
of town.

Q. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A. Pumpkin Pi!

Q. Why was the farmer so teffified by his pumpkins?
A. Because after he watered the seeds, they grew some and then grew some more!

Q. Which musical instrument do pumpkins play at Octoberfest?
A. The a-gourd-ian.

Q. What does a gourd grower use to mend his torn overalls?
A. A pumpkin patch.

On Halloween, you can sit on my pumpkin, but you butternut squash it!

Pick Up a Jaak-O-Lantern Line: Hey baby, are you a big orange gourd? 'Cause I am Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater.

Q. Why do jack-o-lantern tell the funniest Halloween jokes?
A. 'Cause thery're real cut-ups!

Q. What are big, orange Halloween gourds truly afraid of?
A. Things that go pumpkin the night.

Q. Why did the jack-o-lantern go to the doctor a week afrer Halloween?
A. It felt really rotten.

Q. What do you call an athletic Halloween pumpkin?
A. Jock-o-lantern!

Q. How do fall gourds pay for their Halloween costumes?
A. With pumpkin bread.

Q. What happens when you eat too much pumpkin pie during the fall?
A. You'll get autmn-y ache.

Q. What did the jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin pie?
A. You're crusty!

Dumb Customer: The crust on this pumpkin pie was way too tough.
Waiter: Sir, that was the pie pan.

Q. What is the best thing to put in a pumpkin pie?
A. A fork.

Q. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Good pie, everyone.

Q. What do
you get if
you drop your

A. Squash!

Q. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A. A Plumpkin!

Q. Why do
have low IQs?

A. 'Cause
they're empty

Q. Which rock band do jack-o-lantern dread hearing on Halloween?
A. Smashing Pumpkins.

Q. Why do carved jack-o-lantern hate winter?
A. Because the cold goes right through them.

Q. What happened to the guy who was hit by a 200-pound catapulted gourd during Pumpkin Chunkin?
A. He was squashed. SPLAT!

Q. What do you call a sailor who morphs into a pumpkin dessert?
A. A squash-buckling pie-rate.

Q. When is a pumpkin pie pie like a golf ball?
A. When it's sliced.

Q. What did the jack-o-lantern say to the yet-to-be carved pumpkin?
A. Happy Hollowing!

Q. What do you say to compliment a good-lookng jack-o-lantern?
A. You look smashing!

Q. Why did the jack-o-lantern go to the Halloween speed dating party?
A. He was hoping to pick up some body!

Q. Who is the leader of the big orange autumn gourds?
A. The pump-king.

Q. Why were the pumpkins that grew up out in the garden patch lifelong friends?
A. 'Cause they had deep roots.

Q. What do you have if you have six mini pumpkins in one hand, and a carved jack-o-lantern in the other?
A. Huge hands.

Q. Why don't pumpkins like going to Halloween parties?
A. They have no body to dance with!

Q. What is it called when a guy carves his pumpkin way too soon?
A. Premature e-jack-o-lantern.

Q. Which extreme sport do pumpkins enjoy?
A. Bungee-gourd jumping.

Farmer Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, was your daddy a pumpkin? 'Cause you are lookin' so gourdgeous.

Q. Why don't ghosts like rain on Halloween? A. It dampens their spirits!

Q. What do
you call a


Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!

Q. Why did the carved jack-o-lantern cry itself to sleep every night?
A. Because he was empty inside.

Q. Why don't carved jack-o-lanterns ever fart in front of others?
A. Because they don't have the guts.

Q. Why do pumpkins just sit on the front porch?
A. 'Cause they're too short to ring the doorbell.

Q. How does a pumpkin feel growing out in the pumppkin patch?
A. Just vine,

Q. What is the best thing to sink into pumpkin pie filling?
A. Your teeth.

Q. Who won the jack-o-lantern beauty contest last Halloween?
A. No body.

Q. What kind of makeup do jack-o-lantern wear on Halloween?
A. Ma-scare-a.

Q. Which kind of pumpkins and squash have the magical ability to speak?
A. Vocal gourds.

Q. What is the biggest decision you'll have to make this November?
A. Pecan pie or pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving?

Q. Where do executive pumpkins hold their business meetings?
A. In a gourd-room.

Q. What kind of underwear does a pumpkin wear on Halloween?
A. Fruit of the Tomb!

Q. Why was the jack-o-lantern such a bad singer?
A. 'Cause he couldn't hold a note or carry a tune.

Q. Who helps little pumpkins safely cross the street on Halloween?
A. The crossing gourd.

Q. How are cats and pumkins alike?
A. Both just sit on the front porch and wait for you to get home.

Q. Why did the pumpkin pie finish its Thanksgiving dinner?
A. 'Cause it was filling.

Q. What is
inside a scary jack-o-

A. Boo-gers.

Q. What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost? A. Bam-Boo!

Q. How do
you repair a smashed

A. With a
pumpkin patch.

Q. Why do jack-o-lanterns have low self esteem?
A. They have no body to love.

Q. What did the pumpkin pie say to the pecan pie on Thanksgiving?
A. You're Nuts!

Q. What does a math geek have for dessert on Thanksgiving?
A. Pumpkin Pi.

Q. What do the two cousins who work at a ladies shoe store call each other?
A. Pump kin.

Q. Why do pumpkin growers say their crop is the most beautiful?
A. 'Cause it's absolutely gourd-geous.

Q. Why did the stupid monster like dating the jack-o-lantern?
A. Because they both have empty heads.

Q. What is an overweight gourd called?
A. A plump-kin.

Q. How does a jack-o-lantern taunt a vampire on Halloween?
A. It says, "You Suck!"

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite dessert to enjoy after Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Pumpkin pie with eyes cream.

Q. What do you give a gourd that's trying to quit smoking?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What is a Denver dog's favorite Tex-Mex treat?
A. Puppitos! (pumpkin seeds)

Q. What do you say to compliment a vegetable gardener?
A. Smashing Pumpkins!

Q. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
A. Use pecans instead!

Q. Which kind of porn are autumn gourds into?
A. Pump Kink.

Q. Why do pumpkins always travel to Thanksgiving dinner by road?
A. Air travel via Pumpkin Chunkin is not a pratical option.

Q. Why do pumpkins like Halloween parties better than Thanksgiving get-togethers?
A. With all the boos oh Halloween, they'll get smashed. On Thanksgiving, they get baked and eaten.

Q. What do you call femily members that own a gas station?
A. Pump kin.

Q. What do you say to compliment a pumpkin?
A. You look gourd-eous!

Q. Which kind of Thanksgiving dessert has the most calories?
A. Plump-kin pie.

Q. Which seasonal treat is the best seller at the Colorado cannabis edibles shop?
A. Pumpkin pot pie.

| Pumpkin Puns, Jack-O-Lantern Jokes | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Halloween Music |
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