What is the scariest day of the week? Boos Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Herman Munster Says: Happy Boos Day!
Wine Humor: Is a wine hangover the wrath of grapes?
Java Joke: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka
Cow Chef Says: Spoiler Alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks!

A marrini asks: What do Russians get when mixing holy water and voka? A. The holy spirit!


Bloody Good Drink Jokes and Spooky Beverage Puns
Unwind with ghoulish cocktail puns, happy hour horror humor, and refreshing zombie jokes.

Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze Puns, Frightful Drinks
(Because Scary Drink Jokes and Frightful Cocktail Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream At a Bewitching Happy Hour!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Bloody funny drink jokes, haunted bar humor, and sheet faced ghost puns ahead.
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A skeleton walks in a bar and says: "Give me a beer...and a mop."
You might be from Colorado if you met this guy at a LoDo bar last weekend!
Hauntinly funny bar joke: Q. What does a ghost drink? A. Boos!

A brain walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already out of your head."

Q. Are all corner bars haunted?
A. Yes, they are all full of spirits.

Q. Why should a skeleton drink eight glasses of milk per day?
A. They say it's good for the bones.

Q. What did the sadistic monster order at the bar before a wicked night of terrorizing the villageers?
A. Pain-ya Colada.

Q. What did the undertaker order at the bar at the end of his day?
A. A Morgue-arita.

Q. What killer round did the zombie order at the bar on Friday the 13th?
A. A shot of ta-kill-ya, a Bloody Mary, and a Mind Eraser!

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my wine!
Waiter: Yes ma'am, you asked for a house red with a little body in it.

Q. What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper bar?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.

Q. What did Bigfoot order at the LoDo hipster bar?
A. A Hairy Navel.

Q. What did the cold-hearted monster order at the singles bar hoping to find a hot date?
A. A Mo-Heato.

Q. What happens when a ghost drinks too much?
A. He gets sheet faced!

Q. Why did ghosts go to a bar on Halloween?
A. For the boos!

A black widow drops into the bar. Bartender asks, "What's your poison?"

Q. What did the zombie order at the bar before the Apocalypse?
A. A Roam and Coke

Q. What did the wounded Walking Dead order during happy hour?
A. A Lime Gimp-let.

Q. What is the scariest cocktail to a hipster?
A. An Old Fashioned.

Q. What does a vampire on a diet drink? A. Blood Light!
Never Drink with Ghosts. Because they can't handle their boo!
Q. What's a vampire's favorite drink? A. A Bloody Mary!

Q. What is a blood-sucking vampires favorite cocktail?
A. A Leech Daiquiri.

A vampire walks into a bar in Transylvania. Bartender says, "Let me guess... A Bloody Mary?"

Two cannibals walk into a bar and sit next to a clown. First cannibal whacks the clown on the head with a beer bottle, and they both start eating the clown. Suddenly, the second cannibal looks up and says, "Hey, do you taste something funny?"

Q. What was the cannibal chick drinking during happy hour at the pick-up bar?
A. A Manhattan.

Q. How did the London bobbies know the werewolf did it?
A. He was seen drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's.

A guy walks into a graveyard bar and asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender replies, "Sorry, we only serve spirits here."

Q. Which popular spirit is by far the deadliest?
A. Ta-kill-ya

Q. Why are ghosts so popular at Halloween parties?
A. 'Cause they always bring the boos!

Q. Which popular Paris cocktail is silent yet deadly?
A. The Mime-mosa.

Q. Which cocktails are safe for a thrsty mummy to consume?
A. Dry Martinis.

Q. What do mummies drink when they're thirsty?
A. Ghoul-Aid!

Q. Which cocktail did the soprano mummy order at the bar while vacationing in Thailand?
A. A Sing-a-Pour Sling.

Q. What is a monster's happy hour slogan?
A. Eat, drink, and be scary!

Q. Which cocktail is the favrite of serial killers?
A. The Murder-ita.

Q. What do cannibals enjoy thirst thing in the morning?
A. A Bloody Mary.

Q. Which mixed drink is said to prevent being eaten by a cannibal?
A. A Whiskey Sour.

The Number 13 walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we can't serve you. You're under 21."

Two chemists walk into a bar. First one says: "I'll have H2O." Second one says: "I'll have H2O, too." He died.
Did you hear about the opticican? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.
A guy hit another on the head with a pop bottle, killing him. In court, he said he was influenced by the song "Let's Get Fizzy-Kill."

Drunken Zombie Fact of the Day: Drinking the wrong alcohol may make you absinthe minded.

Q. Why didn't the mad scientist's new recipe for vodka-flavored brats catch on?
A. Because it was the Absolut Wurst!

Q. What does Dr. Frankenstein order at the bar after a long day in his laboratory?
A. A Corpse Reviver.

Q. What does a knife-yeilding monster drink at the bar?
A. A Dagger-i.

Q. What kind of beer do skeletons like?
A. Pale Ale with lots of body.

Some bacteria walk into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve germs here." The bacteria replied, "But, we work here. We're Staph!"

A ghost walks into a brew pub. Beer-tender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."

Q. What is a vampire's favorite beer?
A. Bloodweiser.

Q. What do crafty Denverites call a group of young kids dressed like ghosts for Halloween?
A. A micro-boo-ery.

Q. What does a mortician drink after a long, grueling night shift?
A. Vodka Morgue-tinis.

Q. What do ragtag mummies drink after a night of unwinding?
A. Mai Ties.

Q. What was the evil genie nursing at the cocktail lounge before going back into the bottle?
A. A Slow Gin Fizz.

Q. What does the Frogman order at the bar on a hot summer evening?
A. Rum and Croak.

Q. Why do skeletons prefer cabernet wine?
A. Because of its full body.

Q. What's a ghost pirate's favorite drink?
A. Boo Tea.

Q. Which kind of coffee do mummies prefer on Halloween?
A. De-coffin-ated.

Q. Where does a mummy drink his espresso?
A. At the Sar-Coffee-Gus.

A tongue walks into a bar and yells out, "I can lick anyone here!" EW!

Q. What do leprechauns order at the Blarney Stoned Bar befor a night of mischeif?
A. Ifish Coffee.

Q. Where does an alien go for a few drinks? A. The Space Bar!
You might be from Colorado if you've seen Bigfoot in a driverless beer truck on I25!
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it

Q. What do scary gray aliens force abduction victims to drink before letting them go?
A. A Mind Eraser.

Q. What does a creepy alien drink at the Mars Bar before an evening of abduction and impregnation?
A. Cosmos-politans.

An alien walks into a bar hoping to meet someone out of this world...

Q. Why do little spacemen turn green when they land on planet Earth?
A. Turbulence, and creme de menthe in the drink the grasshopper bartended served him!

Q. Which killer cocktail has no known antidote?
A. The Gin and Toxin.

Scary Bar Groan of the Night: The Measles walks into a bar. Bartender announces, "Free shots for everybody!"

Q. What did the British mother zombie drink after her bratty kid rolled his eyes at her?
A. A couple of Highballs.

Q. What do you call a Colorado Bigfoot that enjoys craft beer?
A. The Hopominable Snowman!

A bat flies into a bar and asks for another drink. Bartender says, "There must be an echo in here.

Q. What did the scary guy with bugs in his teeth order at the biker bar?
A. A Sidecar.

Q. Which mixed drink do ghosts enjoy before the haunted house opens to the public?
A. Harvey Wallbangers. .

Zombie Drinking Tip of the Night: It's better to have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

Q. Which alcoholic beverage is manditory for the Walking Dead?
A. A Zombie.

Q. Which cocktail should you avoid drinking before the upcoming zombie apocalypse?
A. A Mind Eraser.

Q. Which day of the week do ghosts live for?
A. BoosDay.

Q. Why don't Coloradans drink Flat Tire beer when they're out and about partying on Saturday night?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?

Did you hear about the scary monster who quit drinking liquor for good? Now he drinks for evil.

Q. What is a monster's favorite refreshing Halloween party beverage?
A. Demon-ade.

Q. Why was the ghost an alcoholic?
A. 'Cause he really liked the boos.

Q. What is a zombie's favorite holiday beverage?
A. Egg noggin.

Drunken old chefs never die, because they're so stewed.

The last man on Earth walks into a bar and says, "Drink, I'd like another bartender."

Haunting Last Words At the Corner Bar: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Life's a bitch and beer is a must!

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You're still thirsty for grins, so we've scared up even more boos-y laughter,
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