Q. How did a ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So Long, Sucker!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What is a vampire's least favorite song? A. Another One Bites The Dust!
Q. Where does a vampire like to eat lunch? A. At a Casketeria!


Dracula Humor, Vampire Jokes, Puns That Suck
4 out of 5 vampires bite into Dracula jokes, horror humor, batty laughs and bloody funny puns.

Vampire Puns, Bloody Funny Jokes, Dark Humor
(Because Painful Puns in the Neck and Vampire Jokes That Suck Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Leeches!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Blood sucking puns, anemic humor, and thirsty vampire jokes lie dead ahead.
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Q. Who's a vampire's favoirite super hero? A. Batman!Q. Why did the vampire tke up acting? A. It was in his blood!Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these painful puns? A. They Suck!

Q. Why is it so tough to compete with a vampire?
A. Because they're always out for blood.

Q. What happened to Dracula's castle?
A. Transylvania revamped it.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus performer?
A. A bloody entertaining act that goes straight for the juggler!

Q. Why did the vampire strike out?
A. He used the wrong bat!

Q. What did Count Dracula say to The Invisible Man?
A. Long time, no see.

Shrink: How do you see yourself?
Dracula: I don't.

Q. Why did the vampire act so batty? A. It was in his blood!Q. Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A. He heard it had the best circulation!Q. What did a vampire say when he hired an apprentice? A. We could use some new blood around here!

Q. What's worse than a hungry vampire?
A. A thirsty vampire.

Q. Where do vampires get their writing instruments?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. How does a vampire get engaged?
A. He proposed to his ghoul fiend.

Bloody True Fact of the Day: Being a vampire really does suck.

Q. Are monsters good at math?
A. Not unless you Count Dracula.

Q. What did the baby vampire say to his mommy?
A. Please turn off the switch. I'm afraid of the light!

Q. What do you call a foolish old vampire? A. A Silly Old Sucker!Barber: Oops, sorry! I just cut your chim!. Vampire: It's ok, it's not my blood!Q. What did a vampire do at teh blood bank? A. He asked to make a withdrawal!

Q. How can you tell if a vampire is a baseball fan?
A. Every night he turns into a bat.

Q. What do you get if you cross Google with a vampire?
A. A know-it-all that's a real pain in the neck!

Q. What's the tallest building in Transylvania?
A. The Vampire Stake Building.

Q. Which ice cream flavor is a vampire's favorite? A. Vein-illa!Q. Why do vampires hat Monday? A. Mondays Suck!Q. What is a vampire's lover called? A. His Ghoul Friend!

Q. What is Transylvania?
A. Dracula's terror-tory!

Q. Why did a cop pull the vampire over?
A. He was a suspect in a blood bank robbery.

Q. Who does a movie star vampire get letters from?
A. Members of his fang club!

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