Q. What show do pastry chefs watch on HBO? A. Game of Scones: All Men Must Die!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!
Spock: It is illogical to be lost in space. Smith: You can't do it, can ? You can't kill the man without becoming the monster!
Q. What is the monster's favorite day of the week? A. Freak Day!
Why doesn't anybody get married on WEDnesday?

 


Monster Jokes, Fiendish Humor, Brutal Puns
4 out of 5 cannibals eat up monstrously funny memes, deadly puns, and frightful monster jokes.

Ghoulish Humor, Monstrous Puns, Scary Jokes
(Because Funny Monster Jokes and Deadly Ghoul Puns Could Never Be TOO Wicked for Mainstream Horror Fans!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Ghoulish humor, scary monster jokes, and bogeyman puns lurk undead ahead.
| Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Ghost Jokes | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

Q. What is a ghoul's favorite cheese? A. Monster-Ella!Scary Pun: Cannibals Like to Meat People.Eddy Munster Says: Mommy, everybody says I look like a werewolf? Oh, sit down and comb your face!

Q. Why are monsters hipsters?
A. Because they've been coming out of the closet since before it was cool.

Q. Where does Frankenstein go to get a tattoo?
A. Monsters Ink.

Q. What do you call a clever monster?
A. Frank Einstein.

Q. Why does the Frankenstein monster detest social media?
A. Because he has so many followers, and they all have pitchforks!

Q. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A. Spareribs.

Q. What do monsters eat at October barbeques?
A. Hallo-weenies!

Q. What sort of psychic do montrous cannibals like best?
A. Medium rare.

Did you hear about the diabolical cannibal scientist who perfected cloning? Now, he's full of himself.

Q. How do monsters tell the future?
A. They look at their horrorscope.

Q. What is a young monster's favorite toy?
A. His deady bear.

Q. What did the crowd say when Dr. Frankenstein shoved a big beast into a wooden box?
A. You've crated a monster!

Q. Which kind of monster has the best hearing?
A. The eeriest one!

Hulk Says: Chuck Norris does not take showers! He takes blood baths!Q. What do you call wood when it's scared? A. Petrified!Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these painful puns? A. They Suck!

Monstrous Groan of the Day: People say Frankenstein's monster had a bad temper, but actually he was rather level-headed.

Q. How does a werewolf sign his letters?
A. Best Vicious!

Q. Where do monsters like to go hiking?
A. Death Valley.

Q. What should you do if you come across a hulking green monster in the garden?
A. Wait until he's ripe.

Q. Why did Igor work for Dr. Frankenstein?
A. He was trying to make a living.

Q. What kind of vehicle does Frankenstein drive?
A. A Monster Truck!

Q. How does the Frankenstein monster make everybody laugh?
A. He keeps them all in stitches.

Q. What is inscribed on the tombstone of the Frankenstein monster?
A. Rest in Pieces.

Q. Why do monsters like these jokes?
A. Because being evil is devilishly hard work.

Q. What kind of book do monsters like to read?
A. One with a cemetery plot.

Q. What do you call a one-eyed monster riding a Harley?
A. A Cycle-ops!

Q. What happened when Dr. Frankenstein crossed a small dog with a cow?
A. It was a terrier bull idea.

Q. Why is a vampire good to take out for a meal? A. Because they eat necks to nothing!Addams Family Says: Happy Weirds Day!Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue eating pizza? A. He ate it before it was cool!

Q. What did Dr. Frankenstein say after the monster spit on him?
A. It's saliva!

Q. Why did the monster squeeze his ghoulfriend to death?
A. He had a crush on her.

Q. How do you describe it when a vampire pilots a fast plane?
A. A terror-flying experience!

Q. Which 2001 movie was the cheesiest horror film of all time?
A. Muensters Inc.

Q. What do little monsters ride at the amusement park?
A. The Scary-Go-Round.

Q. What does a monster do if he loses his head?
A. He calls a head hunter.

Q. Which Scottish monster likes to hang around people?
A. The Loch Noose Monster.

Q. Why did Godzilla attack the automobile dealership?
A. Because he wanted to pick up trucks.

Q. How do monsters like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried!

Q. Why did the monster pour nacho cheese all over people's feet?
A. He was hungry for Dori-toes.

Did you know that Dr. Frankenstein invented the safety match? Yes, it was one of his more striking inventions.

Q. How can Dr. Frankenstein tell if a vampire is sick?
A. He's coffin.

Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!If Satan lost his hair, would there be HELL toupee?Q. How are vampires like false teeth? A. They both come out at night!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone there was a goblin.

Q. Which aftershave do monsters wear?
A. Brute!

Q. Which rare creature has the worst odds for survival?
A. The Luck Less Monster.

Q. Why did the monster take a dead man for a ride in his car?
A. Because he was a car-case.

Children look under the bed before going to sleep to check for monsters. Monsters look under the bed to check for Chuck Norris.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Ouch!

Q. Where does Judge Dracula work?
A. Night Court.

Q. What's creepy and leads to the second floor af a haunted house?
A. Monstairs!

Q. What did the optometrist say to the monster, vampire, and zombie patients in his office lobby?
A. You vill see. You vill all see! Muhahahaha!

| Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Ghost Jokes | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |
| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |

PainfulPuns Home
You've spooked around this far, so here's even more demonic laughter,
creepy humor, scary jokes and monstrous painful puns that'll just kill
ya:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Actor Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Beer Jokes | Bronco Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Dead Battery Jokes | Friday Jokes |
| Hipster Jokes | The Hulk Jokes | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns | Police Jokes | Running Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Jokes | Shrink Humor | Sports Puns | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Edible Puns, Fun with Food Monstrously Funny Puns Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.